If she leaves, then yes, protect yourself legally.

But I would not serve her, especially at work. If the affair were with someone at work, then I would expose the affair in her workplace to the right people. But it isn't, and so serving her and embarrassing her at work will be a huge love buster in my opinion. If you are in plan a, legal action may be the necessary stick, but conduct your legal affairs without being disrespectful to her. No love busters! It is difficult because you are very angry and hurt. Too many of have been there, so we understand. But if your plan is to reconcile in the future--regardless of how much hope there is at this point--do not engage in love busters.

Jttou, the issue is destroying the environment that permitted her to BELIEVE that she had leave to act so cold-heartedly whorish. Part of that environment is her status and security in her work environment. BLOW IT ALL UP! Leave her with no sanctuary, no place of comfort!

Sorry, but it's time for scorched-earth tactics now. There are no Love Busters that matter when destroying an affair. "I'm doing what I knew was necessary to try to save our marriage!" covers all actions, short of (probably) physical violence. The only reason NOT to have her served at work would be that having her served at the airport would involve more embarrassment, more humiliation!

EPIPHANY!!

Dude! I have your answer! Do not do anything! When does she leave for the airport for her flight on Roundheel Airways? Thirty minutes before she is to leave the house. YOU leave, telling her you'll be gone for the rest of the week. "Bye-bye, skank! Take good care of DD!" Do not let her stop you! Just run to your car with your bags and drive off!

No broken-foot violence! No concealed-handgun Federal crimes!

LOL....I actually started typing a reply to Jttou, and clicked out thinking, "Nah, NG's got this one locked and loaded".

Never doubted I wouldn't be disappointed.

Jttou, I get what you saying and i have thought the same thing, but isn't she doing that exact thing to me. I expose her to our D. I tell her she is missing her cheer comp because she is flying out to AZ to be with her bf. Yet she still plans on leaving! I think at this point she is basically spitting in the face of me and my D! I am filing on Monday and will have the weekend to decide how to serve her.

I agree with serving her at work.
The way you help people change is to allow them to face the natural consequences of their actions. Divorce is a natural consequence.

Have the county Sheriff serve her.
They are cheaper than private process servers.
Being served by a Deputy always adds an extra shock factor

Personally I like NGs last plan. It's brilliant! Get your D in on the plan. I think keeping the family together is more important than cheer camp, if you can get her to see that! You leave and Your WW is forced to stay with D! Love it NG. Brilliant.

Thanx, BP!

So here is an update. The W texts me yesterday morning from AZ with her OM, asking me if I would take pictures of my D cheer comp..... So a lot of feelings came rushing through my mind, and non of which I wanted to express in text form to be saved to use against me at a later time. So I decided to ignore it! 3 hours later after my D was done and we are heading home, my D says dad I want to call mom. So I gave her the phone and she calls her mom. Then the phone gets handed to me, and I start getting asked all kinds of questions about the comp and if I took pictures. I said, I have nothing to say and hung up. Then I get a call back of which I didn't answer, followed by a text saying she wants things to be amicable and doesn't understand why I was acting like an a**! So my only text back was, you have got to be kidding me right!!!!!!!

Does your daughter know that her mother is not there because she is off doing some sleazebag in Arizona?

FILE FOR DIVORCE.
Cancel all joint credit cards.
Freeze all pension accounts.
Prepare for WAR

She may just leave to live with him.
Be very careful that she doesn't leave with your daughter.

You need to immediately get help so you have a plan to raise your daughter.
You need a nanny for the time you are on duty. Start looking for one today.

If you know what cRedit card she is using call and report it stolen

Why in the world did you let her go? Did you tell her if she left, you were done? What is your next step, fire boss?

I totally agree with Jedi. You need to make things difficult for her

fireboss, have you had no luck in locating the OM's wife and family? Because they have to be found even if you have to hire a PI. That is not that difficult and not that expensive. Others have paid $350 to a PI to get contact information. I would not rest until you have found the OM's contact information and done a widespread exposure on his end.

But you really need to take steps to protect yourself legally. It is rare that a wayward is this bold and brazen. WOW. She is loud and proud and that is scary. This more than fog, this is someone who has a worldview that accommodates an open marriage. She is dangerous to you and your daughter so I very much agree you need to file and have her served at work.

The W texts me yesterday morning from AZ with her OM..

Gee, it's good she was able to wipe the love juices off her hands well enough to text! (Yeah, I know: Moderation on its way!)

Dude, I got it: You're a fireman, you go INTO buildings when everyone else is running OUT. Thank you.

BUT....

You let her go to Arizona. You applied NONE of the tactics offered you to prevent the EXACT death-dealing blow to your marriage, and your daughter's chances to be raised together by both bio parents.

YOU ARE A COWARD. Whether I say it or not, you are one, so I might as well say it.

I'm done here.

I am without empathy for you FB. YOU NEED TO FOLLOW THE ADVICE. She doesn't respect you! Therefore she can't love you till you regain that respect. Tell your little girl the truth! And follow JKs advice. She knows your bluffing and treating you like a chump. Show her the big bad wolf will blow down the house of straws! Move all money into a single account in your name and cancel all credit cards. Get legal counsel while she is gone. P

I've thought about this while jogging today.
If you want to save your marriage you may want to file for separation instead of divorce.
As I think about Jon and Sue, Dr Harley did not encourage Jon to file for divorce. He waited for the affair to die a natural death.

What do you want fireboss? Do you want to be rid of her or wait it out?

Did you make any attempt to hire a PI as I suggested on wednesday?