You need to expose this far and wide

Below is the message I plan to send to expose. Feedback? Is this ok? -- Janna


I am sending you this message as a family member or friend of OW. You may already know, that OW had an A with my H. He ended their A and we have worked very hard to recover our M from the destruction the A caused. Despite this, OW continues to contact my H in an attempt to "be his friend". If you have any influence over OW, please urge her to respect her own H and M and stop intruding in mine. Thanks.

Another question....should I have my H send a no contact letter to OW or just expose? Thanks.

Janna

I would send a NC letter written by you both and have a restraining order sent to her as well. Show this skank you mean business.

TranquilDark

Thats interesting advice..so you mean one NC from both or separate NC from each of us. Why do you suggest this?

As for the RO, how can I do that if H allowed contact. Also, does anyone know if I would have to do that in my state or hers?

Janna

Yes he has very poor boundaries around women, and by the looks of it is a serial cheater.

You and your hubby right the letter and your husband gets a RO against her if he doesn't agree to that you should look into plan B

If they haven't sent a NC letter yet, how could they get a restraining order at this point? Don't they have to send a NC letter first, and then wait and see if OW violates it? If OW repeatedly violates their written request for NC, that would give them grounds for filing a restraining order. Correct?

Your correct I thought a NCL was done.

...by the looks of it is a serial cheater.

Really, WF? Why would you say that?

...my H himself has said he always had a "back up" plan.

Oh, yeah, there's that.

So, as he was exchanging vows with you, JB, how extensive were his backup plans? This goes so far beyond the range of wayward paths to infidelity, that I worry that the "nest of snakes" in WH's head might never be dislodged.

Are you still in love with your husband?

Have you read this Exposure 101 ?

There are Facebook exposure templates in there and a NC letter sample also.

Correct....on both the boundaries and the serial cheating. My H was horrifically abused as a child......a secret he kept from me or anyone else and carried alone until about 5 years ago. He always used sex to tamp down the pain of the shame, humiliation and rage that ate at him.

Plus, he has boundary issues in general from having his own boundaries so violated.

Janna

There was no one else when we married. You may be correct re the "next of snakes", but I am not ready to give up. He has faced and overcome many things in order to stay married to me. He has more work to do...

Janna

yes, I'm hurt and angry with him and not feeling much love right now, but I am in love with him and the one thing I am always sure of is that he loves me.

Janna

Thanks Brain Hurts....I've read these in the past but need to relook at them.

Janna

I am rewriting what I want to say re exposure. Slow...because H is constantly around and also since this started, son is now on way to visit. Trying to time things so it doesnt totally blow up his visit.

OW used some "social engineering" to get H number. She had a male friend who was a former subordinate of H contact our son who works where we all worked before. Under the pretense of getting a recommendation from H and son gave him the number.

Is it ok to include this info in exposure

Janna

I believe so but wait for other responses.

Overnight I have become a basket case.

OW H has still not contacted me. I think they must be out of town as their is no FB activity on either page for over a week. His company appears to be closed due to the holiday. But, he's in an exec position and its hard for me to believe he hasnt picked up his work voicemail once during this time. Does anyone know if messages drop off those systems after a period of time?

Also, I am rethinking exposure or at least exposure with a lot of details. I no longer have proof of anything except the most recent contact. OW is a bully and very vindictive. I know most think its unlikely, but if anyone would sue for defamation of character it would be her and she lives in a place where these types of bull crap suits are common and lawyers lined up to take them.

Exposure to her FB list is literally going to expand to hundreds if not thousands of people across the country and through the grapevine of a very large organization to almost everyone any of us have know for over 30 years. I know her and she is not going to take that sitting down. I am very stressed that this truly nuclear explosion will cause a huge nuclear blow back on me.

My instinct is to wait until I can speak to her BH. I am so confused and afraid of making the wrong move in the mental state I am in right now.

Janna

PS this exposure is also going to reach other OW by virtue of all the connections and Im afraid its going to bring all of them out of the woodwork in a panic that I will do the same thing to them. Just not sure its worth that.

Janna