My wife told me two years ago she wanted out
She gave me her laundry list of reasons. So, I went to work on trying to change myself, my habbits, helping out more with the kids etc. got counseling for us, went on marriage retreats etc..... Dipped into my 401k twice to pay bills, went through my savings bonds to help pay down debt. Fixed her car several accidents. Put up with her blaming for me for having to lie to lie to me. Put with her friendships with both guys and girls. My gut told me she was cheating, especially after I found on her phone visits to lesbian forums, her. Girlfriend calling her my little kitty. Telling she was going to woman's group to find out it was a group for recovering drug addicts and taking my kids to this ladies house who both she and her husband I guess we're using. She took a card of mine that I had paid off, reopened it and bought things for her frends while we were struggling to feed the kids and pay bill. I carried her twice wen lost a job and was out of work. And while she supposed to be watching our kids , she was playing dress up, post the pictures on line where men would send them back doing lewed things with image. She would tell she was going out to pray and then I would find out she was with one of her friends. Then when started working again, she pulled her money into her own account, said she wasnt happy and wanted an escape. Left me with the bulk of bills while she was furniture for her new place. I did everything I could to try and save this especially for the sake of the kids. So tell me why I get this feeling of guilt. I knw in the first part of our marriage I could have done more or le better.i have every act f. Kindness read almost every book I could. Find on the subject and still I have this feeling that. I just haven't done enough. Can someone explain this to me? I thought if I were the helpful caring husband who provided and shared what I through acts of love it would show her my intentions are sincere. I can see I have busted my butt trying to make this work, no matter what I do or say its wrong and I'm made to feel like crap and given the burden of blame when the stuff hits the fan. Can someone throw me a bone here?

And to top it off bshe used my card to get an iud even though we have had once in two and half years. I borrowed money from my realities to pay off debt and she ran the bill back up. I must be a realsucker!

Is she a drug addict? Why is she visiting dug addicts?
If she isn't a drug addict is she just visiting them to have sex?

Do you mean you have only had sex once in 2 1/2 years?
IUD is a birth control device. She would only be using it for birth control.
Based on your description she is out having sex with other people and also exposing your kids to active drug addicts.

I suggest you take immediate action to protect your kids from her dangerous lifestyle. Do they live with you or her?

Are you legally separated?

How old are the kids?