I never had sexual contact of any kind with the Om except hug & a Kiss. You all wanted a polygraph; now that it was done you don't believe it. I guess there is no winning here. This is not helpful.

Hey, you answered my question to your BH on your thread, and frankly, I couldn't be happier!

Couldn't be happier to be wrong as your story simply didn't pass muster.

Doesn't happen around here often.

Trueform,

Good work, just your willingness to take the test goes a very long way to establish your credibility with your BH.

God Bless
Gamma

Well, TF, I'll support LftS's opinion that he has the information he required to accept that he now has the truth.

Now get to work on building an MB-based union!

good job on passing the poly.

Have you given your BH a list of your EPs?

What is your plan to meet his top ENs? What are his top ENs?

You said you kissed OM that night, so I'm not sure how you were able to answer "No" to the second question. Regardless, you and your H seem very happy with your results. Congrats!

Trueform,

You said in your first post that you and H were reading "Surviving an Affair". Have you filled out the questionnaires yet?

Schedule at least 20 hours a week meeting the critical emotional needs of affection, conversaton, recreational compantionship and sexual fulfillment. Your first post indicated that you and your H had trouble with conversation. It will get better. At first, my H and I talked about the weather and the dog. And our affection started out as holding hands while walking the dog.

AM

Are you going to be able to post your Extraordinary precautions by the morning?

The MC is very familiar with the MB program. He gave us the EN and LB months ago.

The only thing I asked was that the JPOA be signed for our protection.

I want our marriage to work but I also know that the JPOA goes both ways. My BH needs to understand some of my real fears that have plagued our marriage.

That is a relief! Trueform, please read the post I posted to your husbands thread that focuses on Dr Harley's requirements for recovery. As long as you know the steps, you can be on the watch out in case the counselor misses a step.

And I would HIGHLY recommend that you tell the counselor about this book that Dr Harley wrote for counselors: Effective Marriage Counseling

What EPs have you set up and given your BH?

OH MY!!! May I suggest reading up on changing only "YOU" and cleaning up "YOUR" side of the fence first?

Your BH is in good hands ... we will take good care of him ... over on his thread that is!!!

TF, you do know that POJA doesn't apply to your recovery, right?! EPs and JC are his decision not a negotiation.

Any EP's and JC he might want to put in place to feel protected is what he needs,
I understand. My actions have caused him much pain.

The POJA is in the SAA book.

WalkingForward my husband has abused alcohol throughout our marriage. All I want is some protection for my children and myself. I thought long and hard about posting this info. on the first thread but though I should take the heat for what I did to cause him so much pain. That is why I wanted to talk about the POJA. Even now I am afraid of how he will react to me posting this info.
Please understand I want the best for my family.

He got the advice on his thread to clean up his side you should let him know respectfully that his drinking needs to stop.

Trueform,

The EPs should be a written list of very specific things you and he will do to affair-proof your marriage. It should include anything that made it possible for you to conduct a secret second life of the affair - transparency with email, telephone, etc; spending all nights together, etc.

What is your list of EPs? People on here have been asking for them for a few days.



If there are lovebusters in your marriage, start with the book "Lovebusters". Angry outbusts are one example of lovebusters. Independent behavior is another example. If either one exists, start there - AFTER LISTING THE EPs.

AM




AM

I want to apologize for posting this it was very imprudent of me during this very emotional time. I would also like to thank my husband for his love and affection he has shown me; during this time of the greatest pain in his life. He has been spiritually strong and I want to make him proud.

Trueform, if your husband has a drinking problem, that is a HUGE PROBLEM that will be an obstacle to recovery. You did the right thing in telling us because no matter what we tell you to do, nothing would work if there is a drinking problem. Nothing.

First, the drinking problem has to be arrested. Do you realize that?

Trueform promises to follow the following EP's and repair my BH's broken heart.


Change cell phone number and give password & account access to your spouse.

Change email account.

Eliminate all social networking accounts.

Take a polygraph.

Give my spouse access to any banking/financial accounts, business and personal.

I will protect my spouse and their feelings above all else.

I will not participate in any one-on-one meetings with anyone of the opposite sex.

I will not discuss my personal marriage issues with anyone of the opposite sex.

I agree to use POJA as a basis for all decisions.

I will be open and honest with my spouse at all times about the past and present.

I will provide my spouse a daily schedule of all appointments and contact information.

If I need to make an adjustment to my schedule, I will notify my spouse of the change immediately.

I will make my spouse�s phone calls my highest priority by answering them or returning them immediately.

I will avoid all chat rooms, member sites, etc.

I will trade phones with my spouse at any time they request, NO questions asked.

I will leave my phone accessible to my spouse at night/or anytime I�m home.

I will commit to at least 15 hours of undivided attention with my spouse to meet each other�s ENs every week (time working together does not count toward those 15 hours).

If OM finds a way to make contact, I will immediately end the contact and notify my spouse about it immediately after.

I will install a keylogger, GPS, or any other tracking system my spouse may request.

Anytime I have the thought, �I don�t want my spouse to know about��.�, I will call my spouse immediately and tell them my thoughts.

Anything else my spouse wants as a boundary.

What is he doing for his drinking problem?

Good job on your EPs.