I give you kudos for perservering through lots of different threads! Yes, God has blessed us in so many ways but it doesn't mean it is ever easy.

Many blessings on you and your marriage. Keep reading and working at MB concepts. I truly believe God gave Dr. H blessings when he wrote his books.

CNB, don't let the experience last week put you off of continued posting. I found I learned a lot reading and posting on lots of people's threads! And there was always someone around to let me know if I posted something that didn't line up with Dr. Harley's advice, and to let me know why, and it was always a learning experience.

I agree with markos.

I've been here many years, been corrected numerous times and that's one way you learn! Sometimes all someone needs to hear is--I read your situation, I care and there IS hope!

CNB, I also noticed you online reading for months prior to Pep calling you out. I ached for you, knowing you were troubled but afraid to reach out. I am sooo glad you have now done so and hope to see you continue posting,,,,on your thread & others!!

Hello

Markos
Faithful
Nerly

Thank you "so much" for your encouraging words. You know the whole thing - "the kindness of strangers". Well - thanks to you all - I have now experienced it full force.

It's kinda funny - or more on the lines of a paradox - but - yes - I can conclude that I was troubled - felt in the big scheme of things I had no reason to be - given how my situation played out - but I still had to go through the grieving process anyway - endure the suffering. And that's what I was doing - suffering.

Ironically - now that I had a chance to get it out - thanks to ALL of you - the burden DOES feel lighter. I feel like I have turned a corner. I recognize that it is NOT healthy to let it consume me. This situation does change you.

It is true - with time - the burden becomes less consuming. It's not running in the forefront of your mind as much - but it's still running in the background. However - there are times I forget about it all-together - but infidelity is EVERYWHERE - especially television/movie shows. With time - I am not as sensitive to it as I was in the beginning.

I guess I had/have survivor's guilt. So many things could have happened - and it didn't.

It's kinda like - no matter how bad you perceive it to be - there is always someone who has it far worse.

And one person's ordeal in particular bothered me for a while.
I SO want to know that she is faring better. Her screen name was CATNIP. I cried over her ordeal more than once.

So - I am thankful - for people recognizing my pain - reaching out to me - forgiving me for my debacle - and still encouraging me to stick my neck out again.

I will be around - and I will continue to read (so please don't be surprised to see me on "YOUR" old thread) - and know that you have impacted me for the better.

When I feel I can make a contribution or just give support - I WILL do that.

Take care AND God Bless

Can Not Believe

PS:

I still haven't figured out how you guys "caught me". In school - I teach 6 classes - and (lucky me) I have a 15 minute break between all my classes and a 1 hour plus lunch/planning after the 4th class. I spent all break time and a part of my lunch break reading (for 2 years). So - during the week - I really never log off. I just switch to another screen when I'm away from the computer.

If someone does not mind answering - How DID you notice me?

I'm so glad CNB, that you're going to stick around.

When you click on "who's online" it shows you. It will show the poster's name and what forum/thread they are reading.

Your story is heartbreaking. I am honored to know I helped.

The devastation to the betrayed spouse is so profound that only those who walk in those shoes understand. I truly believe that you are a wonderful woman, and tried to do the "right" thing. But right for one, is not right for another. Never feel guilty, or regret what your basic needs are to be happy. The oc is not a child, and after all you gave said, if you were sitting here, I'd say move on.

The drama and instability of the situation with the ow wanting to tell you off is s clear sign that only upheaval would be the result. As you have no doubt read, I am incredibly harsh on ow, and those who would judge a hurting woman thrust in this situation. So understanding where I come from, I say this.

Check DNA. Cause if that man is his son, a run at tour estate could be in the future, totally shocking your children. Ask for one to protect yourself. There was a reason she contacted him, then her anger at you. Or, state in will that his possible existence is known, and that you/husband are choosing to leave nothing.

Hello again.

I feel SO honored that you took the time to read through my thread and to reply to me. As an educator - you prove once again that you can NEVER underestimate the effect that someone can have in your life. You were that person for me - all for the good - and again - I THANK YOU - for that.

My husband and I are GREAT. We have heard nothing (to my knowledge) from OW or (possible) OC. Life "feels" normal (new normal) again. To my husband's credit - he is still a great husband (very attentive and caring) - and he is not afraid to ask me if something is wrong if he thinks something is amiss. He knows that that question can bring up anything - so I'm (kinda) impressed that he would even open up that door.

We updated our will not long after all of this came out - and I am pretty sure that we have everything secured for our boys (I did it through Legal Zoom). The boys are beneficiaries on all insurance policies - assets - and properties -- and -- as well -- the will leaving everything to them if they were not specifically named. The OC is not mentioned in the will at all - because since he refused the paternity test, In my opinion - he cannot lay claim to anything. I don't want a reading of the will to lead to any doors being opened. Since we all live in different states - including my 2 boys - hopefully - they will stay out of our lives.

Yes - this is a very profound thing to deal with - and a SHOCK still goes through me when I think that this was introduced in my life. Still - all in all - I realize that
I am one of the lucky ones - and I thank GOD for his grace in the way the whole thing played out. Yes - I am blessed.

Thanks to people like you - PEP - and the MB family - you put me back on the road to healing and just enjoying life again - as well as opening my eyes to NEVER taking things for granted.
I will ALWAYS be on alert - sometimes HIGH alert - and I will NEVER trust 100% again - but I consider all-in-all -- that for me - life is GOOD.

Take care and GOD bless.

Can Not Believe

You sound great CNB!!