I am mid-snoop. I am planning for exposure. But I need to gather my facts and evidence first.

I have the woman's phone number and city. I am trying to find her name. How can I get this? Once I know her name, I know which one she is on facebook and which ones are all her family.

I do not have access to WH's phone. The only power I have there is turn it off, block OW's number, or to get the printout of which numbers he has texted over the month (although there's really only one). I do still have access to WH's facebook and email accounts, though I don't think he keeps much on there. It is still a tool. DH does not have his own computer. I have access to all bank accounts online. What are your thoughts about blocking OW's number??? Do it now, even though it will increase unpleasantness, or do it when everything comes down during Plan B when he moves out?

I am trying to be pleasant at this point. I want our home and marriage to be loving, warm, welcoming. As with the example of Jon and Sue in Dr. H's book, Jon even helped Sue pack and told her he hoped she had time to think and it was beneficial. WH told me he is leaving because he is "just not happy" and because "he loves me but is not 'in love' with me". I know, I know!!! Those are huge cliche things to say when WS is having affair and leaving! Anyway, I told him that I loved him and that I hoped moving out helped him find happiness.

When he leaves on Friday, the world and weight of his decisions will come crashing down on him. The doors will be locked, the Plan B letter will b handed to him, Exposure will take place to his friends, his few family members, OW's BH and OW's family. He will no longer be welcome in my home. I will not have contact with him. I am still trying to decide wether to do plan B for 6 months or a year. I'm leaning toward a year. That will make it a little over 2 years for the entire Date of Discovery to the end.

Today I am getting my own bank account set up. It is already open, I just need to make sure it is ready for bill-pay and all that.

Thoughts? Thanks for all the support. I know at first it sounds like I don't agree with the suggestions, but I have to chew on them a little, pray about them, and absorb them for myself.




"I know Who goes before me
I know Who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always on my side
The One who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side. "

Katy, it sounds like a plan. At what point will you will be telling your children about the affair?

Ways to find her name would be to

1. Reverse lookup on whitepages.com
2. Google the #
3. Cell phone lookup on intelius.com - they charge a small fee if they can find the #
4. Last resort would be to hire a PI to get it

Katy, how is your exposure going? Did you find the OW's name? Are you ok?