I am getting ready to expose. Either tonight or tomorrow. Would do tonight but don't know if I can get all the letters done in time to releast them all at once. If not, it will be tomorrow morn. Please let me know if you see anything I need to add/change/do differently.

Letter to BS of OW

I am contacting you because I love my husband. My name is xxx. My husband is xxx. My husband and your wife have been having an extra-marital relationship for several months. xxx went to school with her brothers at xxx. We now live in xxx and have lived here for 11 years. He started talking to xxx on Facebook sometime before the elections. This progressed to texting. Last month, he and your wife texted nearly 7000 messages to each other. This is not the first time my husband has been unfaithful to me. Last year, I discovered that he had a physical and romantic affair with two other women. I decided to forgive him and he said he would work on our marriage. We were improving and were doing fairly well until the last couple months. He started to withdraw from me again and the time of it corresponds to the time that he started talking to your wife.

I am unsure if my husband and your wife have ever met in person. My husband says he has not, but he is not trustworthy. I would investigate this for yourself. I know that my husband has been in your area 2 x in the last couple months. On xxx, 2013, he told me he was going to a basketball game in xxx. He did not come home that night. He denies meeting your wife. As I said, though, I can not believe his word. Then, on xxx, 2013, he went to a gun show in xxx. He stayed there all day and was late meeting us for dinner in xxx. He did not buy anything. Again, he denies meeting her.

I want to stay married to my husband. I want to love him and fill his needs. It is unacceptable for him to have an emotional and mental connection with any woman other than his wife. I gave him the choice to stop texting your wife, or to stay in our marriage and continue to work on it a day at a time. He chose to leave and refuses to stop texting your wife. I have tried to call your wife once, but she did not answer and then told Norm that I had called so that he knew I had attempted contact. We have been married for 13 � years. It is each of our first marriages. We have two daughters, ages 6 and 9 who will be heartbroken when my husband leaves. I am contacting you for several reasons. 1.) You have a right to know what your wife is doing. 2.) I�m asking you to encourage your wife to stop all contact with my husband. 3.) I am willing to share my phone records with you if you need so you can see the record of text messages between them. 4.) I am a Christian and I believe in forgiveness and marriage. I will pray for you and your wife, your children, and your marriage. I ask for you to do the same for me.
I am not exposing my husband�s affairs to hurt him, but because I love him. Affairs thrive on secrecy, so exposing his affairs is one of my greatest weapons against the evil that currently resides in our marriage. I want to kill the affair to make it possible to save our marriage.
My phone number is xxx and my email address is xxx. I�m sure this is shocking to you, as it was to me. I am willing to answer any follow-up questions you may have. My spouse�s contact information is xxx, and his current phone number is xxx. He will be changing his phone number soon. I have blocked her number from his phone account, but he will be getting a new phone account soon and then he will have control. I will let you know his new number once I have it.

Katy, keep your exposure letters down to about 3 short paragraphs and delete all the personal information in paragraph 3. Take out all information about what you plan on doing in your marriage, it is not key to this issue. And more importantly, i would not send the OWs husband a letter because the OW might intercept it. It is better to call him if you can get him on the phone.

Don't tell anyone what your husband has said, only what he has DONE, ie: H is having an affair with XYZ. I recently discovered it. Here is my evidence.

Make all of your letters as short and concise as possible.

I only have a FB contact for OW's husband. That's how I was going to send. Is that ok? I don't know how else to do it. I was also going to send letter to OW's brothers.

I don't think fb is reliable to send messages to a non-friend. I would search for BH's employer and contact him at work.

Do you know who she is? I would send the Facebook letter to more of her family and friends. If you can't find her husbands phone # then ask him to call you when he gets your letter. And ask his family to make sure he gets your letter and calls you because you are worried he won't get the message. And don't say in your letter that he says they haven't met. That is horsecrap. Just say that you believe they were together on XYZ date.

New and improved:

My name is xxx. My husband is xxx. My husband and your wife have been having an affair. He started talking to xxx on Facebook then progressed to texting. Last month, he and your wife texted nearly 7000 messages to each other. This is not the first time my husband has been unfaithful to me. Last year, I discovered that he had a physical and romantic affair with two other women.

I believe that they may have met in person. I know that my husband has been in your area 2 x's. On xxx, he told me he was going to a basketball game in xxx. He did not come home that night. He denies meeting your wife. But, I cannot believe his word. Then, on xxx, he went to a gun show in xxx. He stayed there all day and was late meeting us for dinner in xxx. He did not buy anything.

I want to stay married to my husband. You have the right to know what your wife is doing. I�m asking you to encourage your wife to stop all contact with my husband. I am willing to share my phone records with you if you need so you can see the record of text messages between them. My phone number is xxx and my email address is xxx I am willing to answer any follow-up questions you may have. My spouse�s email is xxx, and his current phone number is xxx.

Sincerely,
Katy xxx

Katy, that is perfect with a few minor tweaks, don't say physical and romantic affairs. Just say affairs. Take out the lines: "i believe they have met in person" and "he denies they have met I person. I cannot believe his word." His denial is meaningless but gullible people do not understand that. It is better to stick to a description of what you know to be true based on his actions.

Ok. will make those changes.

Can I change his FB photo to one our family?

thanks

I wouldn't bother with his Facebook. I would go change your picture to a family picture for when you do the exposures to OWs contacts. Once you know who she is, I would copy and paste her contacts into a word doc for safekeeping.

Did you read my Facebook exposure tips in my exposure thread?

I found your FB exposure tips. Sorry Imissed it the first time around. Do I send exposure to all 396 of OW's contacts? Mutual friends and family?

Katy,

Out of 396 contacts what is the probability that at least 5 have been very very wounded by adultery?

Even if you yield 3 negative responses to OW, and 6 supportive responses to OW. In spite of the fact that it is a 2:1 ratio in her favor, it will still put OW in doubt about the 1/3 of non-respondents who may hold a negative opinion of OW, that's 1/3 * 396 = 132 people.

The mental effect may be even larger than that because OW is likely to assume all the non-respondent are against OW.

God Bless
Gamma

Go through the list and rank them by family and then married people. Expose to as many of them as you can.

In the third paragraph, I would insert a sentence or two to warn BH about confronting his WW without getting the phone bills or whatever other evidence you have first as she is likely to deny and will have the opportunity to contact WH to spin their story....plant that seed. If BH has an presence of mind, he will think about that and may be more likely to contact you vs confronting WW with zilch in his possession and believing her bull.

Katy, did you find out who the OW is?

She has a new thread in the divorce section called letting him go

I saw that, thanks.