i went on hers and was going to direct her to survivinginfidelity FAQs and MB, but changed my mind. she must have checked her cache. i went back and deleted it, I hope she forgets, but it's really simple to remember.

Obviously, she cannot "use MB against you," so this is another non-issue. You are just blowing smoke to distract from the fact that you refuse to stop enabling her affair.

On a separate thread you asked:



Had she been diagnosed with a mood disorder?

To repeat JC's comment about MB security, as now applied to your "mood disorders" query:

...so this is another non-issue. You are just blowing smoke to distract from the fact that you refuse to stop enabling her affair.

Let's cut through the other potential nonsense all at once. The following factors will not be legitimate reasons for you refrain from taking action, and instead continue to play the whinging coward:

- her hair color
- her height
- her astrological sign
- her birth-order position
- her favorite TV show
- your favorite TV show
- her political affiliation
- her mommy's/daddy's life/death/illness/baldness/marital history/employment

Are you getting what I'm trying to say here, dude? The way to have an affair die is to KILL it.

she has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. when coupled with, genetics, snooping, observation of increasingly destructive behavior, and information that I believe she has only disclosed to me as her husband, I believe there is a strong likelihood of a mood disorder. I have discussed my observations with my IC and she thinks there is some likelihood my WS is in the midst of a manic episode. so has anyone dealt with a true diagnosis in a WS?

And believe me I do want to kill this affair; but I have to do what's best for my children first! Once that's decided the affair will DIE.

Did you expose?! If you read SAA you would see that's normal for WWs to feel like that. Stop making excuses for her. My WW attempted suicide. I still exposed! The affair is ongoing and she is depressed because of it. Sometimes that's what it takes for a WW to realize all her problems aren't because of her BH but her illogical actions that destroy families. I understand you feel the need to protect her cause of your vows but expose and file. Drag it out if you have to but stop shielding her with bogus diagnoses!

Often, it is a good idea to make a CLEAR and PRECISE definition of what this means.

CLEAR AND PRECISE
This is exactly what is about to happen. I unleash a bulldog soon, but have been advised it would be bad to expose to employer at this time. Employer is who I need to expose to though.

You "clear and precise" definition of what's best for your children is "to unleash a bulldog," and you've decided to unleash a toothless bulldog. Gotcha.

So, she's been diagnosed with the side-effects of having an affair... oooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

I would go into what's best for your kids is you exposing the affair, and fighting for your wife...

And that exposing to work is the absolute best weapon in your arsenal at present...

...and that if you don't tell your kids that you will be allowing your wife to possibly spin the story and tell them that wrong is right and down is up, and so on...

But you appear determined to twiddle your thumbs and do nothing and diagnose your WW with everything so as to avoid having to do anything that might upset her.

Exposure will not ruin your marriage. She has already done that.

Start working to patch it up with this.

Your latest excuse is that you have to what's best for your children before you can do what's best for your children.

Anyway this man discovers a lamp. rubs it and a genie pops out, saying, "I am the genie of the lamp, and you get one wish!"

"One wish?", answers the man. "That doesn't seem fair!"

"Budget cutbacks," is the reply. "Make your wish!"

The man says, "I want to live forever!"

The genie answers, "We cannot grant open-ended wishes like that!"

The man responds, "Then I want to live until a certain reluctant BH performs his exposure."

Says the genie, "You are very shrewd!"

JC, the next thing that will pop up as an impediment to doing what should be done is the need to explain to YOU why it hasn't been done, what will be required before it can be done, how he's planning to go about doing it...unless before he can get it done something unexpected occurs, like the Sun rising in the EAST!!

I shudder to think what will happen next...

I realize you are eager to do this thing, but is that really the most dangerous weapon at your disposal? Have you considered unleashing a bulldog with false teeth and a mood disorder? Just throwing it out there...

I have been waffling on exposure here because of fear of legal retribution and not wanting to do tear apart my family. I have realized that my family is already torn apart by my enabling my wife for our entire marriage. I have continued to expose my situation to my friends and co-workers, but not to hers. I have been afraid to expose to my WW employer. I know things going on at her employer which are appalling. I have exposed these to my friends as well. Well, my exposure has taken on a life of it's own. One of my exposure targets called me and they have exposed to WW's employer. I have had a moral delimma about what is going on there for a long time. I'm not afraid anymore. And knowing the truth is out there; finally, feels good. She continues this self-destructive behavior and it infuriates me, she makes poor choices for herself and thinks it only affects her. She lives in a world all her own and it can't stand anymore. I'm sorry I didn't live up to the MB principles. I have hurt myself and my children by not taking a stand for what I know to be right in my heart. I'm going through with the rest of this regardless of what happens. I will not enable this affair anymore. I will not let my children come to any further harm. And I will protect my heart and mind from my WS abuse. I have pleaded with her to end the affair and it gets me nothing but more lies and heartache. She wants to be divorced, she can have one. She thinks she's in LURVE with this POSOM, let him pay the bills and pull her a$$ out of the bathtub when she's drunk and thinks it's a good idea to sleep in there. When she hits rock-bottom and wants to clean herself up and get the help she needs then she can talk to me, and I'll tell her what she needs to do if she wants to be a real mother to her children. If she wants to be a wife she's got a lot more work to do and a lot of remorse to show first.

I'm sorry I didn't live up to the MB principles. I have hurt myself and my children by not taking a stand for what I know to be right in my heart. I'm going through with the rest of this regardless of what happens. I will not enable this affair anymore. I will not let my children come to any further harm. And I will protect my heart and mind from my WS abuse.

Okay, what is your next step? To be completed by TODAY???

There is no legal retribution for telling the truth. Where do you get this crazy stuff from.

Got it all from my head TR. Fear and weakness ruled me.

Next steps, I have contacted my attorney to have her served with an amended initial petition.
Find suitable childcare for my children while I'm at work.
Watch the fallout from exposure.
Pull more strength from wherever I found this bit and thank my friends and family for their support and humbly ask for more.
Continue to pray and hope she can realize these are the consequences of her actions.

And where is the important detail about getting YOUR story out in a full exposure?

Right now there's a gossip-laden half-assed account drifting around (you think) that has exposed her scurrilous actions. That is N OT good enough. Here's what you need to transmit:

Friends, some of you might be learning of WW's infidelities
and the problems she has thrust upon (children listed) and
me. I want you to know that the facts are................

I want to ask your help in counseling WW about the damaging
effect on the lives of all of us, and suggesting she give up
her life of infidelity and dishonor, and return to one of
faithfulness and piety. I would also request your prayers
in that matter.