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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Opt I understand but The Church views masturbation as sinful because (a) it does not procreate and (b) if I masturbate I have sinful thoughts.

Do you use any contraceptive. Condoms, etc, because the church views that as sinful too.

Church only allows monitoring the ovulation cycle and and to avoid the fertile time of the cycle.

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I don't need contraception because I am divorced.
I'm not having sex with anyone.

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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Tonight I was thinking, time does go by fast. I'm 35 and my youngest will be 18 in 12 years. That means 47 until dating! Maybe 44....

The time will go right by Jedi..

Nah we know how that will go, in this world with all the switches out there to turn us "on"

You could join a monastery and spend your time in prayer, where there were no distractions.

Hook up electrodes that shock your peepee every time you had a bad thought..

Your stuck with us until you get a new relationship to work on to occupy your time with more challanges

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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
I don't need contraception because I am divorced.
I'm not having sex with anyone.

Alright being you answered as a lawyer I will restate the question.

Have you ever used any contraception in your life?

And do not say no if your partner took the responsibility such as the pill or IUD.

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Yes. I did use condoms.
But I didnt do so enthusiastically.
I hated using them.

I had a weird marriage. We only had sex at the most a dozen times a year, sometimes only 3 or 4 times a year.

We lived together about 4 months before marriage. She basically moved into my motel room (I was working out of town on assignment) after 2 or 3 dates. She was sexually crazy at that time. Always wanted sex. She got pregnant and so I asked her to marry me.
Literally the day of marriage, the sex stopped and that was basically a sexless marriage.

Im in my mid thirties and ive never had a healthy sex life. It's very frustrating.

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That sounds like she just wanted to get pregnant, and trap you into a marriage. What an unhealthy situation for you.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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Originally Posted by TheRoad
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
I don't need contraception because I am divorced.
I'm not having sex with anyone.

Alright being you answered as a lawyer I will restate the question.

Have you ever used any contraception in your life?

And do not say no if your partner took the responsibility such as the pill or IUD.

I'm sorry, but is the point of this question to browbeat Jedi into admitting that he hasn't followed one particular dictate of the Catholic Church so therefore he should not follow any?

If so, that's both offensive...and pointless.

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Originally Posted by karmasrose
That sounds like she just wanted to get pregnant, and trap you into a marriage. What an unhealthy situation for you.


Hmmmmm..What does that remind me of? twoxfourCP..twice

So now you are not in that circle of trapping a man into being a father, paying the bills. taking all the blame...

and you have done the best to get conflict resolution done on an even and above board table..

Having that become my life actually twice in my life, I can offer sympathy, and the practical help of saying.."DON'T BE A SUCKER!"

You were only 1/2 of what was supposed to be one whole person in front of the man upstairs.

Make any sense?

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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Im in my mid thirties and ive never had a healthy sex life. It's very frustrating.

A "Healthy sex life" well now that is a wide open statement..

If you had a woman who was crazy about sex and wanted to have sex every day to calm her nerves and because it was good exercise, would that be normal to you?

What if she wanted to dress up?

If she needed it to feel loved?

If she wanted to stay pregnant? If she wanted lots of children?

What is present in a "Healthy" sex life or activity? Sensitivity or aggression and possessiveness? or both or a combination of them? What is the balance?

A total hedonistic approach would still leave us wondering if we were right, or doing what is right, or getting our fair share..

Yeah to big a question..

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Well... I'm getting a vasectomy in mid march just to be sure that I'm done. Would have had one sooner but my WW talked me out of it.... Lol. Anyways, it's just something I don't want to have to worry about going forward. I'm sure that is viewed as bad too but you can confess and ask for foregiveness afterwards smile

As ive said before, My situation killed my carrier or at lease set me back 10 years. I was top performer for 16 years. After 18 months of this, I'm finally getting back to where I can focus so I understand exactly what you are saying.

I have my girls 50 percent of the time. It's been almost a year now. It's tougher than I thought and keeps me busy but I think it makes me a better dad. I can only imagine your situation since you are at 100 percent and pretty much alone. But JN, it seems you are doing great. Much Better than me!!! You can write a book or something when this is done.

Maybe ill take your advice and find a TV show. It would make a good lifetime movie too. Could call it "web of lawyers and the tangled webs the weave"....

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Originally Posted by kerala
Originally Posted by TheRoad
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
I don't need contraception because I am divorced.
I'm not having sex with anyone.

Alright being you answered as a lawyer I will restate the question.

Have you ever used any contraception in your life?

And do not say no if your partner took the responsibility such as the pill or IUD.

I'm sorry, but is the point of this question to browbeat Jedi into admitting that he hasn't followed one particular dictate of the Catholic Church so therefore he should not follow any?

If so, that's both offensive...and pointless.


No intent to brow beat. But it is relavent to point out how can one use a condom and yet find it wrong to masturbate. These things are too similar.

I can see someone justifying to steal though refuse to kill. Those two things are so totally dissimilar.

To me it does not matter whether someone picks and chooses the parts of the religion one follows.

The Catholic Church is not run by God but by men. The men running that church have done many wrongs. Crusades, persecuting scientists, inqusitition, protecting pedophile priests, stone walling making restitutions to the pedophile victims acting as a corporation protecting their phyiscal and financial assets over making amends. Dragging this process out for years inflicting more pain for the victims by dragging out the legal process to discourage more suits.

Why did God forget the 11th Comandment: The clergy shall not be hypocrite's.

Last edited by TheRoad; 02/05/13 11:47 AM.
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God is not forgetting. These priests will get theirs first, which gives place to last -- the reward of the victims in heaven, as opposed to what the priests have to look forward to.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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*** Just a gentle reminder, folks. Please keep discussions focused on MB principles. Straying off on tangents can cause unintentional hurt and misunderstanding. ***



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Originally Posted by PhoenixStar
Well... I'm getting a vasectomy in mid march just to be sure that I'm done. Would have had one sooner but my WW talked me out of it.... Lol.

I Got my Vasectomy while my second wife was pregnant for our third child...Three was enough and there are always children to love in the world..
So that makes me proud father of four children that know I love them and stay in contact with me. The youngest is 21, the oldest is 34..

I Don't regret it at all.

Last edited by ConstantProcess; 02/05/13 08:41 PM.
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Originally Posted by TheRoad
Why did God forget the 11th Comandment: The clergy shall not be hypocrite's.

I Think he covered it with the first one Road.."Thou shall have no Gods above me"

Don't see clergy in any of those commandments

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Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Originally Posted by TheRoad
Why did God forget the 11th Comandment: The clergy shall not be hypocrite's.

I Think he covered it with the first one Road.."Thou shall have no Gods above me"

Don't see clergy in any of those commandments

I don't see your point. Though I am content to say no more and do not need a response.

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Originally Posted by TheRoad
I don't see your point. Though I am content to say no more and do not need a response.

Thats cool road it is all about image anyways..I have nothing to prove by saying this anyways..

It just makes sense that once you have established authority,(God), the next thing was to listen to him and not make excuses.

The Clergy has no idea either cause they just like the "Idea" of obeying God.

It was like, "hey, I told you to....." Why tell it over and over to people who will not listen?

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I was cleaning my dd room today and came across a picture ex ww had mailed dd.
I looked at it and became angry about why ww would do what she did.
Dr Harley addressed a caller on Friday and discussed how husbands will wait so long, then say good riddance.
I feel that happening.
If ww came back hat in hand I would be too afraid to risk a false recovery.
I was emotionally unable to run my business during her affair and am now indigent. And I hate being broke.

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Question:
Ex ww has told children that she plans on attending our church.
Any suggestions on how I should respond if she shows up at church in the near future?

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Email sent to Visitation Supervisor:

Good day,

I would like to inform you that when I picked up my children from the Visitation Center today DD8 told me that "mommy wants to know if I can pay her $50 for tires for the car"
I asked Dd8 how she answered and she said "I said of course daddy will"�
I then turned to Ds10 and said, jokingly, "Did Gracie really say that?" DS answered yes. �

As a general rule I do not ask my children what transpires in the visits. In this case, Dd8 asked me to buy tires for Ww as we were leaving the Center.�

I'm concerned that my children are being used to carry messages regarding adult matters such as finances between divorced parents.�

Do you have any suggestions on how this can be addressed?

Thank you.�

Jedi

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