Agreed! Stop trying to win him back and start standing up for yourself, girl. Where is your self-respect?

I agree with BP and RQ seek legal counsel. After all your still married. Don't give up the marital home get a separation and if he wants he can leave. You need to stand strong and firm with this. Nothing changing because you haven't been doing anything different. Don't grovel for his attention, its unattractive and he will run over you with his cake eating. Please call some lawyers in your area and get this done. This man is running roughshod on your soul because YOU let him!

He's watching our accounts. I do not have any money that I would be able to use to file papers. But he has made several threats of leaving, but he always manages to find a reason to stay.

Would your parents be able to come stay with you the first few weeks? [/quote]

My parents are divorced, and neither can come to me, but have said that I could go to them.

I know, but I'm so scared.

I was an 18 yr old virgin when we got together and got married. I've only ever known him, and I know that he can be the loving caring man I know that he is, I just don't understand how he could do this. And then he blames it all on me. Tells me that I'm lying to him and that I'm causing him all this stress, and that he doesn't ever want to come home. And how I turned him into a angry, hateful person.

I'm going to a therapist on Saturday and I'm going to ask for some AD's and I'm going to get some numbers for some legal aid. I can't afford anything, so it'll have to be determined that he pay my legal fees.

I also have a medical condition, that I'm going to have to include him paying my medical insurance for me. I'm not sure what TX law says about all this, but I will definitely find out for sure.

Please pray that I get the strength to go through with this. I am SO SCARED, and that's the only reason why I've allowed this to continue.

Correct me if I am wrong but you can take the money and get legal counsel. Your married. Take money for you and your children open another account in your name.

My husband and I have been married four 18 years. He was n the Army 4 21 years. He retired n 2000 and we moved to AZ. Everything was great until 2011. He started seeing a young woman. I am 56 and he is 54. The young girl at the time was 19. She has 3 children which I Babysat. Her boyfriend worked my husband. He is denying that he is sleeping with her She also saying its not true but her own family stated its true that they r sleeping together I really dont know what to do n this situation. Ive know this kid since she was 12 and really came to care for her and her children. I will get into this more Right now I am kind of nervous Sorry

Angel,

I am sorry that you find yourself in this situation. But, you are in the best place to figure out what to do to end your husband's affair and to recover your marriage.

Have you read the material on this website? If not, spend some time looking at the articles. Also, get and read Dr. Harley's book, "Surviving an Affair".

It would be best if you start your own thread. Welcome to Marriagebuilders.

AM

Welcome, Angelsyaya. Could you start a new thread so we may help you?

Just go to the top of the "Surviving an Affair" forum and click on "New topic"

Don't you see that he is actually abusing you by blaming you for his behaviour. This is mental and emotional abuse CnAmry. Please enact a plan for your separation to get away from his abuse.
Let us know how the search for a lawyer goes. I would recommend you take the money out of your accounts. It is more important and your WH is already angry at you anyway. But do not do that if you think he will become violent with you in any way. Another option is to borrow some money from a family member. You can ask about the spousal support covering your medical condition in your initial consult.

Thank u so much

He moved out

Get into a dark plan b. you need to heal and forget about him for now and focus on you and your babies! He is abusive and gas lighting you big time! Your falling into his plan in making this your fault when its a result of his poor boundaries and actions!

CnAmry I know it hurts right now, but this is the best thing. Did he leave because you asked him to? Have you written a plan B letter? Maybe write one &nd post it here for comments. have you got the lawyer yet?

Sweetie, I agree with tranquil and BP, get yourself dark and on the road to personal recovery. Remember, when you get rid of the negative in your life, you make room for the positive!

Did you get your ADs?

I haven't done anything yet. I will call a lawyer within the week. Today my 3 year old developed a fever. So I have been focusing on him.

This might be the most painful thing that I've ever had to deal with. And I went through the loss of a child and 2 c-sections.

We talked and I asked him if he wanted to work on our marriage, he said that he was confused. I asked him to cut all contact with her. He said he couldn't do it. I suggested him moving out. He agreed. He still won't admit that he is having an EA. But he said he needs time to think, but he knows that I want to work on our marriage, and he knows that in order to do that, he would need to cut all ties with her. He's going to stay with a married co-worker. Or so he says.

I really hope that this works. I would really hate to loose him. I can live without the man he is now, as long as he becomes the man that he was when we first got married.

There is still hope but I think this is your best opportunity to get into plan b. Your WH is a mess right now, and like many addicts, he needs to hit rock bottom. Just get out of the way and let him fall hard.

Sorry about your little one being sick. Stay focused on how much he needs a strong mama bear, ok? Hope he feels better soon.

((Hugs))

Good for you post here daily to vent and don't break your PlanB

I'm so scared!

Last night was the worst sleep ever. I couldn't sleep and I cried almost all night.

What happened?