He is paying thus far, I am working on me, centring myself and getting back in touch with God.....trying to give it all to God and leaving it there is the hardest part for me......I keep taking back the burdens.......one day at a time....
I return to work in a couple weeks so I have several things I also want to accomplish in that time, starting to get myself motivated to live again but it's a big scary world out there!

Can, that sounds like a great exposure! I think you did a super job. But this needs to be posted to your own thread so folks can help you. Exposure does not always kill the affair immediately, but it does hasten its death. In your case, I think it was too far gone. So just because it didn't end the affair immediately does not mean exposure was not successful. It was well worth it for the sole reason that your husband can't lie to family and friends about why your marriage ended.

And of course some people will not give a damn; ["we don't want to take sides"] you knew that going in. Just because some don't give a damn doesn't mean the exposure wasn't successful. The affairees still have to deal with everyone knowing the truth.

In our culture many people just don't care enough to get involved. It is not their ox getting gored after all so it is easier to ignore the situation by saying "we can't take sides" or "we just want him to be happy." [thank God the WS is not a serial killer! ]

I will be contacting a lawyer later this week.

WH has agreed to continue paying the bills and supporting the family. I will be writing a plan B letter for my conditions for recovery when he is ready to work on our marriage. I will post it for tweaking. Thank you so much for the encouraging words.

I know that he left because his head is in the fog. I hope that giving him "his space and time" will help the fog lift and he will see that it will be emotionally and financially better for him to come back home.

I will be enrolling in online classes. And focusing on my boys and myself.

CNamry -- Get that agreement in writing and have him sign it. His word means zip. Zero.

CN, you sound a lot more empowered and I am really glad. I like the suggestion of getting any agreement you two make in writing. If he balks, tell him you can take it to a lawyer. AND DO if he still waffles. Include an agreement about when he can see the kids. He should surrender his house keys. He should not be able to waltz in whenever he wants to. That just enables his cake eating.

No guarantees, but many WH's have been taken aback when they face the reality of what this affair/separation/divorce is going to cost them. They all think they can just leap from marital problems into fantasy paradise and it is so not so. Dollars and cents is a good reality check and you two have several young kids. He will pay support for them until they are 18 whether you are together or not.

You can do this. ((hugs))

Should I get the document notarized? That way it's like a legal document?

I don't feel very empowered. I feel weak and insignificant. I feel lonely and sad and mad.

I'm so confused as to what I'm supposed to do now. I can't even think straight.

Saw this and thought I would share here.