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Okay I get your advice Neverguessed.
Different question.
What is the purpose of keeping the evidence. I'm not getting rid of it, but WW thinks I'm going to post it public. I offered it to OMW but she didn't want it. When they ask me to get rid of it what is the reason I give for keeping it? Without evidence the OM can sue you for slander. Get a restraining order against a psycho jealous H that is imagining his W is having an affair. That without the proof they can lie to your kids that there was no affair prior to the divorce. So you need to like your step dad he did nothing wrong. That the WW can deny to the kids she had an affair even if she moves on to a new OM after the divorce. Keep that proof forever. It is your only protection against WW and OM. Keep it even if your WW goes NC with the OM and comes back to you.
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Okay I get your advice Neverguessed.
Different question.
What is the purpose of keeping the evidence. I'm not getting rid of it, but WW thinks I'm going to post it public. I offered it to OMW but she didn't want it. When they ask me to get rid of it what is the reason I give for keeping it? So you can use it against em. Is that not obvious?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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We met with the pastor.
I know I have been a timid little pansy in Exposure, but it is evident that Exposure is VERY widespread now.
1) When I exposed to her small facebook group on day one, it is likely that members of that group exposed to up to 90 other people in another facebook group. (I have no evidence, but my wife is convinced considering the way these people are acting towards her.)
2) I left out that OM is on marriage #3 Wife #2 Knows, OM Son from Wife #2 OM Daughter from Wife #2 knows. Maybe more in this little family.
3) OM Dad knows.
4) WW Sister knows.
5) WW Sister's Boyfriend knows
6) The Pastor knows.
7) About 5 of my closest friends know, and likely their wives. All from our church
8) WW Mom and Dad Know - They have threatened to tell people at their church.
9) OMW has told 3 or four of her friends. Did you personally tell all these people? Or are all these people just gossiping? How many have reached out to your wife and asked her to end her affair? Unless you personally told them, it is not an exposure.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I did not personally tell all these people, but they all know. The exposure is widespread. As my wife told me all the people that knew because of how it spread like wildfire and how hurt she felt all I could think is GOOD GOOD GOOD! Exposure has been effective.
I'm in Plan A now. She wants Plan D. I'm trying to learn how I feel about that. As A Christian I don't believe in Divorce, I believe God hates divorce so I'm wondering why God would allow this to happen to me again and want me to be divorced. I'm sure there is a reason, but I don't know it yet. A friend of mine was saying maybe God is taking WW out of my life so I can be happy. That is something I never thought about in the past.
BH
WW Married 12 years
DS 9 DD 6 DD 5
Long Distance Internet/EA/PA #1 D-Day 7/18/2009. -NC
Local EA/PA #2 D-Day 1/30/13 Working on Plan A
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I did not personally tell all these people, but they all know. The exposure is widespread. As my wife told me all the people that knew because You did not expose. You must expose. So you believe the words of a liar and a cheat. How sad. It seems as if your WW took your ball a long time ago. I suggest you move to get them back now before WW takes them as part of the divorce.
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Sir you need to demand that she ends her affair.
If she refuses then file for divorce
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I have asked her to end contact. She tells me she is not having a physical affair with him anymore. (Whatever I don't believe it,) but she refuses NC. So I told her okay so its not a physical affair, its an emotional affair now.
I'm not exposing anymore. I'm working on Plan A. Depositing Love Credits and not doing Love Busters.
Exposure creates Love Busters.
I'm prepared for separation/divorce. (Well mentally not legally) She says she is not going to do anything until at least school is over for the well being of the kids.
SO I figure that gives me some time to work on Plan A and show her that I'm committed to improving myself. The first thing I did was go to the doctor and get on antidepressants to address so of the issues I had, and I got a full STD testing.
My new Dr. Rocks and has personally experiences in what I'm going through.
So what I'm looking for now is advice on Plan A, I get that everyone thinks I failed on exposure, I really do, but I'm moving forward.
BH
WW Married 12 years
DS 9 DD 6 DD 5
Long Distance Internet/EA/PA #1 D-Day 7/18/2009. -NC
Local EA/PA #2 D-Day 1/30/13 Working on Plan A
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I'm not exposing anymore. I'm working on Plan A.
It won't work. Good luck!
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You are probably right and I'm okay with that. Its more for me and improving me as a person than to reconcile the marriage.
BH
WW Married 12 years
DS 9 DD 6 DD 5
Long Distance Internet/EA/PA #1 D-Day 7/18/2009. -NC
Local EA/PA #2 D-Day 1/30/13 Working on Plan A
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I wouldn't put it past them. What makes you say this?
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Did you read the link in Pepperbands sig:
LINK to Carrot/Stick of Plan A
If so, you should reread it and refresh your memory on the STICK part. You seem to have slept through that part.
You are Plan A'ing her for what purpose? Clearly you don't want the marriage to be saved, so why would you Plan A her just to divorce?
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Sir,
You should not ASK her to end contact.
You need to DEMAND that she does; Dr Harley says to DEMAND that the wayward spouse end the affair.
And people dont downgrade from a sexual affair to an emotional affair; she is a liar and if you continue this version of Plan A that is really plan "kiss my wifes [censored]" then you wont save your marriage; nor will you improve as a man.
Where does it end? When she has a date with him are you going to help her pick out her clothes? Will you buy her lingerie if her boyfriend wants to see her wear it?
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You are probably right and I'm okay with that. Its more for me and improving me as a person than to reconcile the marriage. Then why are you here? And why are you doing Plan A if you are off on a self improvement program?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Okay I get your advice Neverguessed.
Different question.
What is the purpose of keeping the evidence. I'm not getting rid of it, but WW thinks I'm going to post it public. I offered it to OMW but she didn't want it. When they ask me to get rid of it what is the reason I give for keeping it? Without evidence the OM can sue you for slander. Get a restraining order against a psycho jealous H that is imagining his W is having an affair. That without the proof they can lie to your kids that there was no affair prior to the divorce. So you need to like your step dad he did nothing wrong. That the WW can deny to the kids she had an affair even if she moves on to a new OM after the divorce. Keep that proof forever. It is your only protection against WW and OM. Keep it even if your WW goes NC with the OM and comes back to you. Oh I know you would think she is caught red handed, she must be embarrassed and ashamed! Don't count on it. Get as much information verified and documented while you can.
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NA. You are delusional. What man will start a physical affair and downgrade his lover to an emotional affair? No man that I know of. Your WW and OM are just waiting you out. Waiting to see what you do next before they continue their hanky panky. They are holding their breaths to see how far you will go. And you sir are snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
Finish exposure. You won't find any advice other than that here. You are trying to reinvent the plan. The plan ain't broke.
Me BW: 30
WH: 33
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