H told me about two weeks ago that he was going to stay with a (male) friend because he is too unhappy in our relationship. We've been talking or texting most days since then, with about every other day making me feel happy/hopeful and then the other days feeling sad/angry. About 2 years ago I caught him having an EA (but not yet sleeping with the OW) and he cut it off and says he regrets it to this day.

There are things we both need to change in the relationship, I admit. He is unhappy with our sex life and the amount of affection I show him. I am unhappy with those things too, and especially with the way he acts toward me--he is often impatient with me and not particularly nice. But I am concerned that not living together is just making things worse, not better.

He agreed to go see a counselor with me, but our appointment isn't until next week. In the meantime: I just want him to COME HOME or at least agree to come see me more (he says he still loves me very much just needs to sort out what's going on).

What do I do next? I am trying so hard to not be a desperate, pathetic woman begging her H to come home. But that's all I want! Cutting off contact seems wise in some ways, but I also hate playing games. This is so hard.

How long married? Any kids?

I would hire a PI and find out who the affair is with. Obviously, the solution to a bad marriage is to work to turn it around. A serious spouse doesn't move out to do that. Unless they have an ulterior motive, such as an affair.

I would not ask him, just quietly start snooping and find out everything you can about her. Do you have access to his cell phone bill? That might tell you the who.

Married 7 years, no kids. I do not have access to his cell phone bill, unfortunately. I know he may be having an affair, but if he is not? What's the best approach? Leave him alone and hope he comes back? Tell him I want him back?

I seriously doubt he is not. When a spouse leaves, it is almost ALWAYS due to an affair.