Yes he did - its pretty common knowledge too - his Dads Wife knows all about it too

Given the current situation, I would just do a massive exposure. Tell your son first about the affair. And then notify everyone about the affair using the templates in my exposure thread. You might want to also expose to the OM's employer.

If that is common knowledge, then why don't you know his name? And how would you know that the wife knows?

He runs a small shop in town and is a bit of a local character - he goes under a last name which is an alias - his Son (the OM) has apparently only just returned from paris, so no one seems to know anything about him.

Wouldn't her parents view the situation differently if they knew that your wife's affair began before she moved out? If you can find evidence which proves that she was committing adultery with OM before she even moved out of the house, your exposure bomb will be much more effective.

Yes they would - and I'd love this to happen, I just have no idea how I can gain such evidence.

We can't help you if you won't do anything. You are going to have to step up here and get proactive if you expect anything to change. Instead of giving us a million excuses why you can't do something, you need to start using all that effort to find ways to do it.

We seem to be doing all the work here while you dismiss everything. Why should we take our time when you won't take the time to help yourself? Honestly, I have much better things to do.

Her parents think that holding hands is consistent with "just friends"? Geez. Since she is living with her parents, it would be ideal if you could enlist their help. Could you tell them why you believe the affair began before she moved out, and ask them to either confirm or prove you wrong by downloading spyware on her cell phone, computer, etc? They are probably very upset at how their grandson's home is being torn apart. Maybe that will motivate them to help you gather evidence so you can fight for your marriage.

Listen. A divorce will cost you more than a PI.
Hire a PI and get a thorough background check on this guy.
When my wife had an affair I ordered a background check and guess what....... He was a convicted child abuser felon!

Don't mess around. This is your kids safety.

Also if he has a shop in town he must have a business license and those would have a legal name. You could contact the city or county and see what name is on the license. This is not difficult. I think you should just hire a PI and miss a house payment if needed to get this done

Wow!
Twenty-six notes since my last intervention here, and what do they consist of?

From the MB folks:
TRY THIS...
DO THIS...
FIGHT HERE...
PROTEST...
INFORM...
EXPOSE...


From the poster:
I CAN'T...
I WON'T...
I DOUBT...
THEY WON'T...
HE WON'T...

It is a sad commentary on your fecklessness that we out here are more enthused about the fight you should be engaged in than you are!!!!

Two things might be of import to you, dude! Pay attention!

1) Women are turned on by men who grab the situation, beat the ever-loving crap out of it, and emerge, even if bloodied, victorious!

2) I broke up my wife's affair in ONE DAY by showing her that I was off-the-charts committed to winning, at whatever cost!

You want to get creative? Make one of those sandwich-board outfits, and spend every day for the next week strolling in front of their cozy little shop, displaying the words, "The proprietors here like to bone married women. Ladies, only enter this shop if you want to drop your panties!"

THAT'S the level of commitment and buy-in that wins back the hearts and minds of wayward wives!

(The fact that you will likely ruin their business is merely a pleasant side-effect!)

It's not that I won't do anything - I am desperate to end this affair.

I simply have no money at the moment - and keeping a roof over my Sons head is a priority so a PI is absolutely a no no.

I have tried to find all of the information I can but I repeatedly come to a dead end. I know so little about him, and others don't seem to either who have lived in the towns their hole lives. He appears to be non existent on the web, and as of now he has no fixed abode. It's very difficult but I will keep trying.

All I have for the time being is a shop his Dad owns and a name - which is very, very common. I have spent days going through Facebook with a fine tooth comb to come up with something - anything but at the moment I am not getting any results.

Why can't you get your wife's cell phone bill? What about placing a GPS on her car? What about following the OM or your wife?

I could follow them as long as I could sort out a sitter - but that won't prove anything was going on whilst we were still together.

Her phone bills dont come here - she has moved out, forwarded all mail etc and I have no access to get anywhere near her car.

I can certainly follow and prove that they are seeing each other now - but everybody knows this - proving they were seeing each other before hand will be more difficult.

Do you have access to any old phone bills from before she moved out? You could look to see if there are any numbers yo don't recognize and track them down.

Also, did you share a computer? How far back does your history go? THere may be some clues here.

And most online billing uses the phone number and a password. I bet you can guess what passwords she might use. And you may be able to guess her security questions.

Yeah her bills were all online - I have used the only password I know of and tried a few others I thought were likely but to no avail. This is what I need though - something that can prove it was going on whilst she was still with me...

Unfortunately we never shared a computer. Most internet browsing would of been done on her phone or on the computer at her work.

okay.
Go to the shop and follow the other man home and then you will know where he lives.
I wouldnt try to hack into her cell phone account. All you have to do is follow him after work.
Can you do that?

Do you and your wife belong to a Church?

Yes I can do this

Lets set a goal to get your marriage recovered.
The first step is killing this affair.
You need to set a goal for Exposure so we can move on to the next step.

Can you follow him home and get his info and plan on doing all exposure by Wednesday end of day?