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Conflicting happiness
#2707166 02/18/13 05:33 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 118
Unpleasentville
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wipedout
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wipedout
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Unpleasentville
Whenever something is presented repeatedly with a physically induced emotion, it tends to trigger that emotion all by itself. For example, if you flash the color blue along with an electric shock, and the color red with a soothing back rub, eventually the color blue will tend to upset you and the color red will tend to relax you.

By encouraging each spouse to try to do whatever it took to make each other happy, and avoid doing what made each other unhappy, that feeling of love would be restored.- Dr. Harley

And what happens when a spouse refuses to try to make their mate happy? What happens when the two things that make a couple happy conflict like oil and water????

W(Me): 37
H: 50
2nd marriages for both: Wedding Date: 1/17/09
Blended family. Four children between the two of us.
W: DD13 & DD12
H: SD21 & SD11
Re: Conflicting happiness
wipedout #2707169 02/18/13 05:58 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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maritalbliss Offline
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maritalbliss
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Originally Posted by jsmurf
Whenever something is presented repeatedly with a physically induced emotion, it tends to trigger that emotion all by itself. For example, if you flash the color blue along with an electric shock, and the color red with a soothing back rub, eventually the color blue will tend to upset you and the color red will tend to relax you.

By encouraging each spouse to try to do whatever it took to make each other happy, and avoid doing what made each other unhappy, that feeling of love would be restored.- Dr. Harley

And what happens when a spouse refuses to try to make their mate happy? What happens when the two things that make a couple happy conflict like oil and water????
jsmurf, welcome to Marriage Builders. You're currently posting in the Other Topics forum. Please hit the 'notify' tab on your post and ask the moderators to move your post to the Marriage Builders 101 forum. You'll get more help there.

D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Re: Conflicting happiness
wipedout #2707285 02/19/13 09:13 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,294
Wisconsin
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MrAlias Offline
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MrAlias
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Posts: 4,294
Wisconsin
Originally Posted by jsmurf
And what happens when a spouse refuses to try to make their mate happy? What happens when the two things that make a couple happy conflict like oil and water????

Welcome to Marriage Builders, jsmurf.

If you read up on the Giver and the Taker and what happens to each when a couple is in a truly romantic, loving relationship, where care and security are provided, I think you'll find your answer.

It is so much easier to give in a relationship when your needs are being met and lovebusters have been eliminated. Your lovebank will be filled. If you follow this program to the letter not skipping the parts you don�t like the oil and water will be replaced with something far better � a healthy Giver and a healthy Taker.

What your story? What brings you here? How long have you been married? How many kids? Any affairs? How much do you know about Dr Harley�s program? How much, if any, of it have you implemented? Give us some details.



Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)

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