It has been awhile since I've been on. I don't remember what I've shared and probably no one else does either, without digging in past posts!

Summary: WH started an EA/PA 12/11 ish, 1/12 ish. We separated late 1/12 but I didn't know about the affair. We set some boundaries, including no dating for the time being. Well, he started another EA/PA because the 1st one went back to her sugar daddy husband and he was lonely. Had a partial d-day in early June, for 2nd affair. Several days later he started to fully disclose details about 2nd affair, but still hadn't mentioned the 1st one. He moved back in with me and went no contact with 2nd OW. Mid August he admitted that he'd been with 2nd OW once since moving back home and told me about 1st OW.

Since then we have been doing OK, but not good. WH has been VERY depressed and dealing with insomnia. He WANTS to get better and is doing all of the things he needs to do to meet my needs. And I'm very much enjoying meeting his needs (sexual and affection). But I always felt like he was holding back. I wasn't sure if it was holding back information about his affairs I knew about, or if there was one that he didn't want to admit to. I didn't feel like he was currently in an affair, but that there might have been someone he didn't tell me about.

He finally opened up to me at 3 AM between Friday & Saturday. He started by saying he is so sorry for all the pain he has caused me and how depressed he's been. He knows that it has caused a lot of stress and is amazed at how well I'm handling things. I thought his 1st affair was little more than a 1 night stand and he never said anything to correct my assumption. And I was so focused on the 2nd OW. He opened up to me that the 1st one was the dangerous one, the one that he was hooked on, and the one that broke his heart.

So we talked, and talked, and talked about her all weekend. And about how we let our relationship decline and our feelings towards each other in the months before his 1st affair. It was really good to get it out in the open. I am hoping that it moves him along in the process of getting out of his depression. I think this man is becoming a better person. He is so much more understanding than he ever was before; both with me and with understanding our special needs son and his problems. He was very selfish (and hard headed), even prior to the affairs, and now he understands just how selfish he was. It is easier for me to approach him now, because I know he�ll look at things from other perspectives.

Please still keep us in your thoughts. I hope soon to be able to say he is my FWH (formerly wayward) or simply my DH (dear hubby).

I went back and read your old thread, and I could not tell from that if you exposed or not. Have you exposed the affair? It'll be a lot easier for him to not fall back again if he knows everyone knows, and is going to know if he does it again.

LM, tell us please: what EPs (Extraordinary Precautions) have you put into place to protect your marriage?

I read your thread and am not seeing much - the most alarming thing I'm seeing is that you took everything he said and accepted it as the truth. This is usually not a good idea - you need to verify what your wayward has told you. Waywards are notorious liars who will give up as liitle info as possible in order to relieve their guilt or to lull you into a false sense of safety. It also appears that no effort has been made to block all avenues of possible contact with OW. For example, if they were able to contact each other via FaceBook, he shuld no longer have a FaceBook account. What were - and are - your requirements for remaining in the marriage with him?

Who knows about the affair?