We will have been married 17 years in May. My husband has been emotionally neglectful of me. The kids have noticed it, too. He is depressed, but is not actively seeking help for that. He missed a deadline for paperwork to turn in for us to continue receiving state insurance and food support, and is making no effort to get the forms in. I can't do it because it involves forms from his employer which is located out of state and I don't have the information. My medications cost $3000/month and without them I would need hospitalization. My son is in a similar position. I have two other kids, both of whom also take medication. I have in-home help for my two boys who have disabilities, who would also not be able to come. Anyway, this is not the first time my husband has neglected to do this. We have been in marriage counseling. I have felt him get further and further and further away from me. I am afraid, though. I am afraid of divorce. I am afraid of being alone. I am afraid of him not being ok. I'm afraid of my kids not having a father. I'm selfishly afraid of my 40th birthday (March 3) not being ok. I made a big deal about people doing something to celebrate. My mom put together something (because I knew he wouldn't) and now his parents and sister are coming from 4 hours away. I don't want to un-invite everyone. I am so confused. But, I don't want to live this way any longer. I am having a hard time showing him respect in front of the kids. Thanks.

((((hugs))) I dont really have any advice but as a newbie on the forum I wanted to say that I did read your post. It's so hard when you are married but in some ways dont feel married because a spouse is emotionally absent. I hope you n your husband find the hope and help you two need to restore a healthy relationship and work together on present and future needs/goals.

What did he say when you asked him about why he forgot to do this?

He didn't say he "forgot" to do the paperwork. He said he "couldn't" because he was "gone" "working." He has a flexible job, and can choose much of when he works, and could have easily "found" time to work on this. He often stays up until 3 AM, just relaxing watching Tv or whatever, so really, this could have been done. Since I wrote this post, I have talked to my pastor. We are going to talk again next week. At this point, I need support in the waiting...the waiting and the planning to ask him to leave. Tonight he is home, and it's hard having semi "normal" conversations with him and the kids when I'm so angry. I don't feel I can just tell him, though, that "I'm planning to have you leave soon, but I need to make plans first." This is so hard.