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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 3 |
My wife informed me 11 days ago that she was thinking about leaving me. In that conversation, she informed me that due to our finances, we would have to stay together until finances were better. In other words, nothing was changing except how she felt about me.
Since then, we have made some progress, but she still hasn't determined if she will be able to get back the feeling of being in love with me.
I am happy with the progress and hopeful for the future because I believe in the love we have. I have convinced myself that she still loves me, but has put up a wall to keep me out because the pain of the last couple of months is too great for her.
My one question is when does the pain end? I have physically ached for 11 straight days and just want the pain to ease so that I can resume a somewhat normal life.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066 |
WHat pain are you referring to that she is dealing with?
I hate to tell you this but if you got the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" speech. Then it is very likely that she is involved with someone else. Is there someone of the opposite sex that she is close to/too friendly with? Does she keep her cell phone close by and delete things? Does she disappear for a few hours?
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
jj, welcome to Marriage Builders.
Can you give us a little more information? How long have you been married? Any kids? Does your wife work?
What are you referring to when you talk about the 'pain' over the past few months?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 3 |
Sorry for the lack of info.
Married - 15.5 yrs
Dated - 17 yrs
Kids - 4 (all 7 years apart and the youngest is 7)
Grandkids - 2
Jobs - both of us work
The pain I am talking about is the hurt in my heart. I haven't been able to stop crying for 11 days. We have good days, she gives me hope, then we have the days like today where she doesn't want me to talk to her.
Like I said, I have faith we will work this out because the love that we share is special. Everyone we have ever met tells us how special we are together. We will make it, but I just want the pain to stop. I can't talk to her, because she is not ready to deal with my pain. She has her own to deal with.
I keep praying I don't have to wait for her to fall in love with me again before the pain ends, because that may be awhile.
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 9 |
I don't know what your pain is related too but I can tell u I know what the PAIN feels like, I'm so tired of it , I refuse to live the rest of my life lime this . I've been married 8yrs. Never ever thought I'd be going thru this too
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Sorry for the lack of info.
Married - 15.5 yrs
Dated - 17 yrs
Kids - 4 (all 7 years apart and the youngest is 7)
Grandkids - 2
Jobs - both of us work
The pain I am talking about is the hurt in my heart. I haven't been able to stop crying for 11 days. We have good days, she gives me hope, then we have the days like today where she doesn't want me to talk to her.
Like I said, I have faith we will work this out because the love that we share is special. Everyone we have ever met tells us how special we are together. We will make it, but I just want the pain to stop. I can't talk to her, because she is not ready to deal with my pain. She has her own to deal with.
I keep praying I don't have to wait for her to fall in love with me again before the pain ends, because that may be awhile. What does she do during her days? Is she on her phone alot? Does she go out alone without you? Does she have any male friends?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 691
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Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 691 |
I got the same speech and found out two months later he was cheating.
Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.
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