How did the EA end? Who knew about it? Did you expose the EA back then?

I suspect that you did nothing to recover from the EA. Is that correct?

It was exposed to family. I cant really remember how it ended aside from he was 2 hours away. I got counseling kind of strengthened myself, she wouldnt go. Our biggest issue imo is lack of time together. Before her current job she worked nights and weekends i worked days. I'd see her for few mins in morning and before bed. Its not a whole lot better now. I remember printing out the questionnaires on here and asking her to take the time to fill them out but it never happened. I want to make it work but a part of me says she'll never change, she'll always be deceitful liar.

Seeing how i have full control of her FB should i msg him from hers to get a feel if its still going on?

So have your exposed to everyone in your & her families?

What about your kids? How old are they and have they been told. Dr Harley recommends the children, ages 4 & up, be told the truth.

What do you know about the OM? Is he married?

No, do NOT contact POSOM pretending to be your W.

When you are done exposing the affair, I would pay a visit to that sorry piece of crap and tell him that hell is coming his way if he doesn't buzz off. OM are cowards and weasels who are easily run off.



You'd need to take some big friends along to keep you from doing anything stupid.

No,you don't need to. It's still going on.

Have you gotten a keylogger for her computer yet? You can do this online Go to www.spectorsoft.com. Get the eblaster. Obviously, do this without her knowledge.

She doesnt use the home comp ever. Always browsing on her phone and atm she has me in such finacial ruin i cant afford to buy one for her phone and i rarely have a chance to get ahold of it to install something.

Damn have a feeling they might be hooking up atm but i dont know where he lives.

Do you have any kids together?

Yeah 3, 13,9,6. 6 year old has downs which adds to the stress

You've got his name, right? Google him.

Try looking up your county's auditor's website - plug his name in on their search function and see if anything comes up. If he owns his own home you may find his address there.

Try www.intelius.com. You might have to pay a buck or two, but that site may give you some of his info and associated names, like his parents and siblings.

Well yesterday was not a good day for me. I come to the realization that my wife is a habitual cheater. My whole marriage has been a web of lies and deceit. She calls when shes about done with work. My coworkers husband was in a bad accident. She has no one to take her to the hospital hour and a half away. Do you mind if i take her. I told her you understand this makes me really insecure right. Well if im gonna get asked a billion questions when i get home im not gonna help her.

I told her do what you gotta do at this point, im emotionally drained. So i think to myself sure as [censored] they are meeting up. I still dont know his address. I knocked on a door last night made a fool of myself and he hadnt lived there in 2 years. I think at the end of the night my bro law had found the right place.

She tells me shes leaving the hospital. Plz send me a picture so i can verify that you went there. She actually did and it looked legit. So maybe they didnt meet up.

My stomach is about to explode from stress and anxiety. I got a gps coming to put in her car and a var. Keylogging the comp today. I kinda just wanna give up, this doesnt feel healthy.

Awesome! With these tools, you will know more. And then you can do a nuclear exposure and shine the light on them.

How is your Plan A going?

Well without my real intention it went nuclear today. She actually drove hour and a half to see him in the hospital. I verified with pics i made her send me and talking to his coworkers on which hospital he was in. My mom called her and chewed her [censored], prolly not a good thing. I wanted time to stew on the new info i had but it didnt work out. She said she went because she was concerned about him. So i just sent out NC letter with her approval. Signed the breaking NC letter is a sign of her lack of commitment to me and our children and she will be asked to leave.

Exposed as far as i can, i dont know any off his family and very few people do but both our family and friends know. Through our hour of discussion today i remained calm cool and collected which is odd for me. Laid it out and told her i want to make this word but the balls in her court. I will not accept anymore lies and deceit. Ive been trying to deposit in the love bank but its hard atm.

Other than that im emotionally drained and physically exhausted. Havent ate in days.

WHAT?? Didn't OM just break his leg or something?? And you're telling her it's okay that she take her friend to the hospital??

What NC letter? Did I miss that? She wrote an NC letter?

I don't understand. What does this mean?

Dude, you need to take your [censored] to this hospital and pay him a little courtesy call yourself. Get in this mother's face. Hell, it's not like he's gonna chase you or anything.

This is ridiculous beyond belief. You need to start standing up for yourself, and your marriage if you have any real intentions of actually trying to save it. Go ask your Mom if you can borrow your balls back from her for a day or two and go pay that [censored] a visit.

You have this POS treed and you're just gonna stand there and do nothing while your WW nursemaids him?

Seriously?????

It was the pharmacist from work who's husband was in an accident. She couldn't drive herself so she needed a ride. I fell for another pity lie, sorry. The girls husband actually was in an accident. She just used that as an excuse to get away. The POSOM was injured in a training drill for the fire dept. Shattered hip or something. The hospital hes in is an hour and a half away. Maybe im wrong but im not driving hour and half to get in someones face in intensive care. And the hospital she said she was going to and the one she did go to are long ways apart. Its not like i was ok'n here to go to his hospital.


I guess i gave her ideas on a NC i read from here. If she breaks it i told here theres a no tolerance policy. She can leave my house. I guess im effed up on how im supposed to go about this. I thought i was doing good.

IF she breaks it?? You just put a No Contact letter that she wrote in the mail??

bha, your WW is in an active affair and just drove for hours to be with her OM. The ink's not even dry on that letter and she's running to OM!

NC letters are intended for waywards who have indicated that the affair is over. It is intended as a measure of commitment to their spouse that they intend to work on the marriage. Your wayward has zero intention of ending it with OM at this point, as she proved by her hospital run today.

Okay, you've told her that you have zero tolerance for her affair. Are you planning to tell her she will need to leave?

ETA: Have you read about Plan B on this site?

Listen really carefully. You have a golden opportunity to scare this #*%%}> off. I'm with viper on this you need to be aggressive with POSOM. Go to that hospital his friends and family will be there take all your evidence multiple copies and take them to his friends and family. Then you look that homewrecking worm in the eye and say these exact words. "If you continue to see of contact my wife I am coming and hell is coming with me you SOB." I'm going to let you on a secret about men who date married women THEY ARE FRIGGING COWARDS! Plain and simple. One confrontation and its over. By not doing something about this you telling your wife "Honey your not worth fighting for and I have zero respect for myself" that's totally repulsive. After that take the evidence to the fire chief, the fire station board of trustees and the commissioner. If this dirtbag once to ruin your life you ruin his. Plain and simple. Have it done by this week. Have the evidence given to the fire department and its superiors done in a certified mail from a lawyer.

Ok, from what I understand your WW lied to you about the friend needing a ride to the hospital but instead went to see her POSOM. She then came home and what? You confronted her? She then agrred to end her affair and send a no contact letter which you wrote together and mailed out. Is that correct?

If so, then you need to finish your exposure. And use whatever resources you have (or are getting) to verify no contact.

She also needs to agree to comply with Extraordinary Precautions to help you feel safe in the marriage and prevent any future affairs