Dr Harley encourages husbands to plan A for years if needed , based on the circumstances.
In tQ case, Dr Harley told him to plan A

WW sent her kids to Puerto Rico so she could continue her extramarital affair without them getting in the way. She literally ripped them away from their home, school, friends, father/stepfather, etc. and then abandoned them with her mother in Puerto Rico. Even after TranquilDark got DS back home--and after the grandmother in Puerto Rico said she does not want to continue raising SS--WW still refuses to allow SS to come back from Puerto Rico. SS is only a 10-year-old child!

What is the point of trying to make LB deposits with WW while she discards her own child like a piece of trash? What she has done to her kids--especially SS--is cruel beyond words. There is nothing Christian about rewarding parental cruelty and neglect.

TD: I think you should fly to the grandmother's home in Puerto Rico, put your arms around SS, and tell him his nightmare is finally over. Tell him he'd better get packing because he has plane to catch and his little brother can't wait to see him.

A lot has changed since Dr. Harley gave TD that advice.

He did. From what I gather from his email is that my WW will feel the real sting of divorce with a dark Plan B after divorce. I believe he thinks my case will be a remarriage. I can't take SS because it would constitute as "kidnapping". However, on my trip there to see my WW's ailing grandmother I will try to reason with MIL to let me take SS. If she agrees then I will take him back with me. If I take SS without justification it could be used against me in a custody hearing with WW for DS. I cannot Plan B if I wanted to because she has vistation with DS that says I monitor it. To get that reverse would show instability on my part.

WW tried to get the military involved and accused me of being an abusive husband/father. The military ruled against her and in my favor. I am trying to open a case with the military against WW for abandoment of SS. If I get that I can use that as ammunition for sole custody of DS and possibly have a slim chance at getting custody of SS as well.

If anyone is your ally for SS, the military is. I hope they can help you with that.

I think he is afraid of jeopardizing his chance of getting custody of SS if he just takes him.

But TD is the stepfather, and he would be taking SS with the current legal gaurdian's permission.

I don't see how a court could fault TD for doing that, considering the circumstances. Regardless, if I were in TD's position, I would gladly accept any legal consequences that resulted from bringing that poor kid home.

If he does do that I would be very careful to get all the things sorted out and maybe get MIL to sign something saying he has her permission.

TQ
Email your attorney:

I am going to PR with my son. His maternal great grandmother is passing away; while there I will visit my step son.
If my mother in law consents to it, can I bring him back home with me?
My wife wants him to stay in PR with her mother but her mother doesn't want him.
I am very concerned about his emotional well being.
What are your suggestions?

TQ can you post the email dr Harley sent you so we know his advice to you?

Thanks for posting that BH. JK I meet with my lawyer next week and I plan on bringing that up. JC I see your point as well however I am not sure what custody rights I have when it comes to SS. I got a TRO to force my wife back to our home state from PR so I can get custody of both DS and SS. My lawyer said I had zero case for SS at that time and I should go for DS then SS once I prove I am a stable parent. Another angle is that SS biological father is in PR and has contact with him. He's another ghost dad. If I take him he could take legal action against me as well. I don't want to jeopardize my custody hearing in a couple of months for my DS. If I can get a sign document from MIL then I will feel comfortable taking SS. WW father is there as well and something tells me we will bump heads.

When I told him about POSOM arrest for molestation and her affair when I confronted at the hotel he threatened to beat me up lol. I laugh because he is 60 years old ex drug addict with a terminal disease. "My daughter can be a prostitute for all I care its not your problem bro, leave her alone or I will kill you." Classic enabling father over compensating for missed time. If he is there I am deathly afraid of breaking his face if he threatens me in person. Any ideas on how to handle that? Also, if POSOM is there and she is there I am very scared I will lose it and do more than break his face.

Got some good quotes to questions that will be asked by my WW off of another thread. Setting up some Plan A opportunities with DS and I working the shared history angle and being a stellar father. The previous is hard because I was that dad to begin with and to top that will be very hard. It is winter here and I'm brainstorming some family activities that will allow me to be with both DS and WW. Ideas would be appreciated.

Isn't that radio show from Nov. 2012? When I listened to it, I got the impression that Dr. Harley and Joyce were unaware of the details regarding Puerto Rico. I suspect their advice would have been different if they'd known the whole story. I also suspect their advice would be dramatically different if they knew how WW has been acting since November. I can't imagine they'd recommend Plan A at this point.

She knows you are a steller father, it was hard for my FWW to deny that I was a spectaular father. Staying that way and letting her know what you are up to with your DS is a strength of yours and she will notice. Use your strength, and let it give you reason to work on other aspects of your Plan A. What you need to do is determine what needs are you not meeting for your wife and what needs she wants fulfilled. strengthen those while basing it on your ability to be a stellar father.

Idea for a fun, family activity: Bring SS back Puerto Rico and have a "Welcome Home" party waiting for him. Let DS plan the party. Do not invite the woman who abandoned SS in Puerto Rico.

I also have to say that I am not seeing the good in plan A at the moment. Maybe it would be wise to email Dr. Harley again with the latest developments. You could tell him it's a debate on the boards. If I were you, I'd push the abandonment case, get SS back, get a new visitation order and cut out WW, so she really feels the pain of losing everything. She is really just an expert cake-eater right now.

I will email the radio show the following please edit and add information I might of forgot:

I was on your show mid-November talking about my WW. A lot has happened since then. She came back to the city we live in and I followed Bill's advice. Plan A I also exposed to the affair partners job via email and his church via mail (he lives in FL) He called my wife upset and frustrated with my "harrassment". Our next court date is mid May. I completed love busters book and HNHN and SAA 3x each. I found that I was being disrespectful and didn't know it. I have completed anger management class and parenting class. My wife still is talking to POSOM and lives outside of the marital home. I do not want a divorce I am trying to prolong it so I can do a awesome Plan A then Plan B when its final. We talk about little things and she sometimes opens up to me. She talks and I learn to be a proactive listener (a fault I recognized). She was considering bringing my SS back to the marital home from Puerto Rico. He is living with his grandmother there after she ran off with him and DS. Court has given me temporary custody of DS and I am currently trying to get SS back in the marital home as well. Thank you for your time and help. God bless you for all you do and thanks for the advice!

TD: I screwed up the font colors in my previous post. Below please find my suggested additions in red, and my questions in green: