This is probably a sign of unhealth that I allow this thought any brain space at all, but could affairages be happy and both those people satisfied?

We are in the process of selling our former family home, waited until spring to put it on the market. When I moved out (1.5 years ago?) exWH immediately moved into the home with OW and her 3 kids, against my wishes. Last week was the first time I've been inside our home since I moved the kids and I 35 minutes away to be closer to my college and job, and of course they've repainted and decorated the whole place.

Irony of ironies, in the exact spot where our family picture used to hang the OW has put up some of those word decals. It reads "Family ... a journey to forever."

She also has one that says "Happily Ever After."

It bugs me that these bug me. I sort of chuckled about it, like.... seriously? Family: a journey out the door on my selfish impulses. Or, "Happily Ever After. Until I find someone better."

After I was done chuckling though I find myself wondering if they are going to be able to pull this off, a happy relationship, and then they will be able to feel that this was worth it.

Or maybe the OW STILL doesn't believe it really was an affair, but that he was thinking of leaving me anyway and he just happened to meet her too soon.

I don't know.... talk with me about this, I just need to hash it out.

I think you should steer clear of the OW/WH shared adultery home, myself... But I can totally understand where your brain is trying to take you.

Statistically it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that they will have a happily ever after. But, I suppose it could happen, if they for instance, learned MB and lived it.

I think the best thing to do is stop looking at their life and wondering, rather look in front of your own two shoes and focus on where YOU are going with YOUR life.

It can be, but is highly unlikely. Your separation/divorce is still pretty fresh and now you have been triggered by returned to what was your marital home only to see that Don't dwell on this stuff...it gets you nowhere.

x 2

Did you at least dip her toothbrush in the toilet?

Ooops, was that out loud...

My WXH bought me out of our marital home. OW doesn't live with him----our custody agreement says no over night guests of opposite sex/romantic nature. I usually meet WXH in town to drop off ds....I dont have to go to his house often. It still makes my stomach turn to drive down my old street and see my old house. I've only had to see her car in the driveway 3 times or so. I would strongly advise you to avoid the house until you feel more healed.

I forgot to mention WHY I was in the house, it was to meet with realtor and I needed one look to make sure it was in good enough shape not to have to take him back to court. He was at first supposed to buy me out but then didnt, then 1// year later he wants the house but for free, etc.

It was hard but I shouldn't have to go to that house again.

I was never able to win any agreements to keep her away.

It's weird how cutesy family oriented the place looks like they are really in denial over how much they hurt me and the kids.

My WXW and her affair partner didn't make it a year after our divorce. Sometimes I wonder if that's worse than if they had lived happily ever after. Our family was destroyed for nothing.

IMO, it was destroyed for nothing regardless of whether the affair lasted or not.

My WXH tells me he has lost everything so why not at least keep her. Shrug. I can't control it. But I sure hate my son having to be around her.....he hasn't been for 2 years but I know that anytime wxh could bring her around when he has ds.

Agreed.

TE, look at it this way -- at least your children don't have to have OM in their lives anymore. That's a big win if you ask me. I would do a cartwheel if OW4 and xWH broke up only because I don't want this nut OW around my DS.

Have you heard the radio show where the OW who married her OM asks Dr Harley for help because they are miserable in marriage? There was a thread started on it. I can find it if you want to listen. Dr Harley tells this OW that of the very small percentage of affairs that make it to marriage, almost all are like hers, miserable.

It's actually pretty funny because he tries to explain to her people in affairages don't like to follow POJA and why it's so important, and she makes it clear she doesn't like it either.



Just remember that these people are "pot comitted" - they have broken up families for their "love". They know their relationship is under scrutiny so they basically play the "schmoopie" or soulmate card even when the relationship is on the rocks.

Definitely not worse. I would rather my ex be with ANYONE but her.

Me too. I think I could deal with WXH having ds around a new girlfriend just fine.

That makes me want to puke.

It also makes me wonder if maybe she is so insecure and stupid that she thinks that will keep him in line. However, those words might actually start to eat away at him and the wrong he has done to his own family.

So far my ex wife and her affair partner have kept their physical relationship going about 15 months. Emotional affair started about 18 months ago. Been divorced for 7 months (she moved right in with him)

Living together must cause a lot of problems because there are conflicts.
In the case of SAA Sue, her children hated Greg and that strained their relationship.

I just can't ever get excited or be the least bit happy for any whore my WxH is with ... I feel like TE ... my life and the lives of my children were nuke bombed for nothing ... nothing ...!!!! I worked my [censored] off to save that marriage and for him to move onto another after OW#1 dumped him was bleep...bleep...bleep.

I am haunted because there is nothing more crueler and more abusive than putting energy into a new relationship when that same amount (less amount actually) energy could have been put into their first marriage where there are kids.

My WxH moving onto a new whore has caused me great pain and by far is even crueler than the divorce and the adultery ... no amount of Plan B can take away that kind of reality. It is a haunting nightmare reality.

I would have given him my entire world to work and save the marriage for the sake of my children. I loved that [censored] ... and for him to simply discard us like yesterdays trash tells me there is an evil buried so deep within him and all I can do is pray someday he will wake up and realize all that he has destroyed.

When you reference evil I understand.
I was thinking the very same thing this week.
All the emotional suffering the kids and I went through.... And she just moves in with OM.

But when I step back and look at it I see that the kids and I are better off without her. We really are.

We think
More clearly and behave better.

I feel like if they break up, he looks ridiculous and its obvious they weren't "soul mates" and so it wasn't worth it for him to cheat and leave.

But if they stay together people may be able to justify it.

The fact that they would look ridiculous would be a motivating factor for them to stay together though.

They are in a renter relationship.
It is based on sacrifice and demands.

After adultery, a person has no shame