I agree. Do not respond in writing. Follow TR's advice.

I would not respond.
This is the time when people show their true colors.
If she was to enable her daughters self destructive behavior then do be it.
My in laws were/are enablers too

I think this is the best plan. IL's have NEVER responded to any of my emails. Why should I respond to theirs now? I don't think the the sheriff's office is going to be of any help to them. Any thoughts of what could come if she did contact them?
This just confirms operation "mut move" IS causing discomfort for WW living at IL's as intended. While I reap the benefits of having a peaceful home environment.

�He who is prudent and lies in wait for an enemy who is not, will be victorious.�

I have an idea of what will happen.
First the dispatcher will ask if this is an emergency.
Then when they hear the word "dog" or "animal" they will want to transfer her to animal control.
After being on the phone for 30 minutes explaining that her son in law dropped off her daughters dog, she will probably be told its a civil matter and they can't be involved.

Edit: if the dog is licensed by the county and the license is in your name then you would be responsible for the dog.

Jedi. We think alike... DOG HAS NO LICENSE!!

Then, when animal control gets involved and the dog is unlicensed and has no rabies vaccine your inlaws may get fined.

Nice move MIL calling the sheriff on the unlicensed dog.

I feel sorry for the dog. Can you suggest that MIL contact a no kill or breed specific rescue for the dog? MIL and WW need to find their inner humanity and re home this dog and stop treating it like its a BH. Like you, it has done nothing wrong except offer up love. GF

Perfect! haha.. WW has MIL fighting her battles.. she's back to her teenage days. lol. I agree don't respond.

Per WW yesterday. Today is MIL's first day back to work. She was given permission to work remotely from home. MIL's job requires her to be on the phone almost all day.

I can just picture her trying to talk to clients all while WW's dog is barking excessively at every moving car or person walking by.

IL's new home is on a golf course with the tee box just a few feet from their back porch. That dog is probably going wild as each golf cart comes closer and closer to the house. Gotta be a nightmare for the IL's but I realize they are not allies in this fight.

You can call animal control and find out yourself. Then you will KNOW what they might do. You could also get suggestions from them on some great no kill shelters for dogs.




Well there is certainly a lot of drama and painting of YOU as the bad guy. You could take the higher road and give your WW the list of great loving shelters that SHE could take her dog to if she is unable to care for it.

Perhaps a sympathetic sheriff will agree to "talk to you" to make it clear to you that you don't or no longer have permission to enter their property.

It's not an interrogation. Don't give him/her any extra information. I would just look at him confused like and wonder if he was talking about the dog or you..."Wait...is the dog is trouble here or ME? Am I not allowed over there or her dog [incredulously]? Then play off like women are nuts "first she wants her dog...now she doesn't". This is craziness (implying your wife requested the dog and now she's acting like she doesn't want it because the IL's don't like it). Make it appear wife is pulling a fast one on Sheriff and her parents. "I brought my wife her dog as promised and she wasn't there so I left it for her on the porch. What was I supposed to do [frustrated husband look]????

Never indicate you snuck the dog over and secretly opened the door and allowed it in when no one was looking.
Sheriff will return to his/her car frustrated that she/he ever got involved. If MIL talks to him/her again...(s)he'll just tell her mission accomplished...message delivered. The cop isn't going to get into the he said/she said over a dog.


W

Awesome MR. W as always. Thanks!

Well, well, well.....
Colleagues, it appears our friend FG is getting the hang of battling waywards and their enablers.

FG: You got it - do not respond in any way. If through some miracle, the sheriff shows up, your answer is "What dog?"

You do not DENY dropping off Fido, you just avoid answering the question.

(BTW: Make sure there is NO evidence that pup was ever at your abode!)

Floridaguy are you in Plan A or Plan FU?

I am sure there is more to your question but I am in Plan A.

I actually had a nice conversation last night with WW about son's birthday party, what was going on with her work, etc. She called me when she got to IL's and we chatted for a few minutes. Very different then her usually just texting me. We discussed my plans for the weekend and I just texted her inviting her to join in those plans. I even snuck in the bowling idea and she talked about how she always wanted me to try bowling and that she would like to go with boys and I.

So yes, I am in Plan A.

This dog is a distraction.



How is this going? Do you have an attorney that is fighting in your best interests or one that is just trying to push through an amicable divorce?

Actually...pitting your wife against her parents might be interesting.

Don't do this unless others think it's a good idea (I'm a crazy one coming up with all sorts of passive aggressive responses when "no response" is usually the most prudent)...


"MIL,

I had the dog delivered to WW as a I promised I would. If you have a problem with that you need to speak to her about it. [again implying SHE, a known liar, requested the dog and is now trying to make you the bad guy here].

The sheriff is not going to charge a dog with trespassing but next time I have a dog delivered to your property I'll just have them stake him on a chain on the front lawn and hope the alligators don't get him.

Then again, you MAY have an animal control problem with an unlicensed dog. They can be reached at XXX-XXX-XXXX.

*btw...they don't know who, between your father, a stranger or you actually delivered the dog and opened their screen door. It'll be tough to ticket anyone without a specific identification of the "intruder".


Another possible response...

Write to your FIL...


I got this message from MIL this morning.

[quote MIL message]


You know about this???? Wow...this is what it's coming to? I give her her dog as promised what was I supposed to do...have them stake him on a chain in the yard and hope the Alligators didn't get him.

Listen. On XX/XX/XXXX [wedding date] you and MIL gave your daughter to me freely and of your own will. There are no take backs. (lol). I could understand you helping her out if we were actually divorced but as it stands right now she is still my wife and I feel that you and MIL taking her in, giving her money and babysitting the kids during her visitation is enabling this situation to progress to the point where it's enabling and now I'm getting threatening letters from your wife. I understand very much that you are confused about what the right thing to do in this situation is. I'm sure you want to help your daughter as best you can but I submit that the best way to help her MAY BE to tell her to stop her affair with OM and demand she go home and work on things with her husband. That you and your wife aren't going to condone her carousing about town partying and chatting it up with OM. Consider that your grandchildren are looking to you for help saving their family. You two are making it far to easy for her to abandon us. I'm a good man and I've been a decent husband and son-in-law. Nobody's perfect but I don't deserve this and neither do your grandchildren. At this point, our marriage appears repairable but with your help/interference that may not be the case much longer. Please respect my wishes and send my wife home.

Respectfully, FloridaGuy

What's your point, PF?

Are you suggesting that FG's ILs are innocent bystanders? Are you implying that either the children or the family finances have been negatively affected by his actions?

Seriously, I'm confused!

I have paperwork ready but have not filled yet. My lawyer is not giving me any advice on the issue other than to file for full custody when i am ready to file.

Her affair and choice to not move home is causing harm and effecting the innocent bystanders. Not sure they are innocent since they are enabling WW.

She can choose to move home, bring the dog, and work on our marriage at anytime.

Ok. So what do you think of this strategy?



It still applies the stick because it gives her the responsibility but you are now the loving DH trying to help her out. Of course you cannot take the dog to a shelter yourself because it is hers and ultimately her decision to make.

Think it through .