Put it this way. You CAN expose to too few people. You CANNOT expose to too many. Thats why it's called nuclear exposure. I wish I had done it completely the first time. Trickle exposure, like trickle truth, doesn't work very well.

Like Gary Oldman screams in the movie The Professional:

"EVERYONE!"

My list is at 38 people for family and friends, 16 of which I will have to do through FB private messages. Is that getting to a good size? I also have to send to the OP's friends through FB private messages, around 45 if I include the previous affairs.

BTW, my WW has around 300 "friends" on FB.

I exposed to everyone on myWHs FB list who I recognized. Probably 50.

I was thinking it might be a good idea to attach evidence to the exposure messages that I will be sending to the OM's friends.

Regarding our family and friends, I was thinking it might be better to just offer the evidence, as the exposure letter states.

Feedback?

My feedback would be to send this out now in accordance to what you've already been instructed to do thus far. This has already been covered, and it's even covered in your bomb letters. If people need evidence, they will ask for it and you can then provide it.

You are WAY too over analyzing this. Just drop the bomb, sit back and wait for the explosion.

Just get to work.

I thought you already received feedback on these very questions 2 months ago?

Glad to see you're okay Mel. Was actually getting worried about you.

Thanks Viper. I won't be here as much as I was in the past, though. I am hoping others - who are familiar with Marriage Builders - take a more active role.

Kinglui you need to get the exposure done. You're over thinking it. Do it, get it over with, and all your concerns about it will go away because you have gotten through with it. It will paralyze you if you don't do it now.

Guys, the ball is rolling. I have been working my butt off (letters/translating/collecting contacts/etc). I sent out postal letters today. I am talking to my parents this evening. I will be sending out emails and FB PM's tomorrow. Yup, nuclear explosion tomorrow... stand clear!

Kids will be in school. I plan to pick up my 7 yr old daughter early to talk to her about it.

I have read Exposure 101 again, and The Carrot and Stick of Plan A again, and I plan to re-read them probably several times. I need to stay strong and do what is in those posts.

PLEASE HELP WITH THE FOLLOWING:

I am certain my WS will ask me to whom I exposed. Do I just give her the list of our family and friends (not the OM's f&f)? I read the following in Exposure 101 under common mistakes:

"Keeping exposure a secret. Yes, you read right. But we have had exposure targets say �ok, I will keep this a secret!!� And they never tell the WS they know. That defeats the entire purpose. If that person won�t help you by speaking to your WS, at least TELL the WS that person knows."

No, don't help her figure it out. Let them help her figure it out. If you let her know in advance she'll have a chance to spin things.

I did not mean in advance. I meant after the bomb and she realizes I told a bunch of people, she is gonna ask me who. The Exposure 101 thread is saying I should tell her. Maybe it is better if I just try to memorize the list and tell her verbally? That way she won't be sure if there is more. Or just give her my list of her F&F?

I don't recall that. In fact, I clearly recall the exact opposite.

"COMMON EXPOSURE MISTAKES"

"Keeping exposure a secret. Yes, you read right. But we have had exposure targets say �ok, I will keep this a secret!!� And they never tell the WS they know. That defeats the entire purpose. If that person won�t help you by speaking to your WS, at least TELL the WS that person knows."

It's in the Exposure 101 sticky about 1/4 of the way down: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2566583&page=1

This is what I found. I think you may have misinterpreted this a little.

I'm sorry, maybe my brain is back-firing, but I need help interpreting.

So that means that if a F/F comes back to me and says they will keep it a secret, then tell my WS about that person?

But if my WS demands to know who I told (after the bomb), then don't tell her? If so, then what's the best response to that demand?

Should I care if some F/F decide to not let on that they know, but don't tell me they are doing that?

You've got it and you don't need to tell her anything other than she'll find out soon enough.

You can't control what other people do. Just take mental notes of the enablers so you can steer clear of them in the future. You don't need friends like that.

King, leave her guessing for about a week to give your targets the time to surpse her. If she demands, just tell her you "told lots of people and you should be hearing from them soon enough!" Anyone she has not heard from in a week, go ahead and tell her. But you don't want to ruin the surprise.

Good job on exposing!!

Guys, I have also taken some precautions:
1. Pepper spray for both my work and home.
2. Forwarded household mail.
3. Reduced cash in joint bank account just to handle regular bills.

I guess I am posting this to confirm these measures are good, and whether anything else is urgent and/or strongly recommended. Should I cancel joint credit card, or wait on that? It has a very high limit.

Or am I thinking too much again?