I was convinced she has cheated on me, although she denies it. I believe her, but I think her separation is to try to find someone else and experiment possibly. She denies that and its hard for me to know exactly what is going on, as this is all very confusing to me.
Chris, she probably has already met someone, which would explain why she is comparing you to someone else. I would certainly investigate it. Don't ask, INVESTIGATE.
When someone says "I love you but am not in love with you," it means they have a new point of comparison. And when they want to SEPARATE over that, it means they want the freedom to carry on an affair. It is a CLASSIC sign of an affair.
The physical fights are not common, lets work on other things, we have been together 8 years and have been happy as I thought, maybe she sees it differently. We have had a few trials of course, as in any marriage, and did what I could to work it out. The fighting needs to be resolved but that is not the root cause, its what causes those arguments and I'm not sure what it is.
This has to be addressed FIRST. In order to fix your marriage, the fights and the violence have to be eliminated or this is a no go. Keep in mind that you don't know how to fix a marriage. If you want to save your marriage you are going to have to put aside your own misguided notions and listen to us. We can't help if you won't listen.
She considers my chit chat with a coworker to be an emotional fair I assume. She read our IM's and was very upset with them. To me they were just typical coworker talk but she was furious about that as well, but I took steps to stop that as she needed and that is no longer an issue now.
That is good. Opposite sex friendships are inappropriate for marriage. If you have OS friendships at work, they should be ended.
I feel she is very strict with me and tries to control those aspects of marriage as she has trust issues.
She has "trust issues" because you have
boundary issues. If you want to have a good marriage, you need to clean up your inappropriate boundaries.
However she just called me and is completely furious that everyone is now on my side because of my post. I guess this is a failed attempt. Plus melody's calls to have me send her to jail seems ridiculous on both of our viewpoints.
Assaulting your spouse is ridiculous. That is not how a person with normal emotions behaves. It is against the law and jail is appropriate. I hope you understand how dangerous this can be and how important it will be to call the police if this happens again?
I am sure she doesn't want to hear that, but she NEEDS to hear that. She needs to be in jail if she assaults anyone. That is serious out of control anger.
