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As far as I know ad see in our bill he isn't in contact with any of them, but then again we are hardly talking either. We talk about stuff like "how's your day" "are you hungry?" "How's baby boy" etc. I want to bring up what we are doing but I'm afraid to at this point. I dont want to fight!

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Originally Posted by Tiffany006
As far as I know ad see in our bill he isn't in contact with any of them, but then again we are hardly talking either. We talk about stuff like "how's your day" "are you hungry?" "How's baby boy" etc. I want to bring up what we are doing but I'm afraid to at this point. I dont want to fight!
Is he still out of the house or did he come back?

Did you hear anything back from the exposure? From the IG?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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He's back but we aren't really having meaningful convo and I'm slipping in the Livingston with our sick son.... I kinda want to know want he thinking, but I also can't help to feel he should be the one asking me since he messed up. Am
I wrong?

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I haven't heard what his punishment will be yet, they did make him come home. Although he would have anyways because of our sick son

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Originally Posted by Tiffany006
I haven't heard what his punishment will be yet, they did make him come home. Although he would have anyways because of our sick son
So how are your Plan A efforts?
Carrot and Stick of Plan A


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I've done everything from cooking his favorite dinner, cleaned the house before he came home, I've been pleasant and nice. I'm honestly at a loss for the rest of it. Does it normally take time?

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Originally Posted by Tiffany006
I've done everything from cooking his favorite dinner, cleaned the house before he came home, I've been pleasant and nice. I'm honestly at a loss for the rest of it. Does it normally take time?
Yes it does, but Dr. Harley says a BW should only be in Plan A for 3 weeks if the affair is still going on to proceed to Plan B.

Since you've exposed to the military you have that on your side. They should issue a NC order.

What are HIS top ENs?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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If I could guess he needs to feel needed, honored, like the "man" of te relationship.

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Originally Posted by Tiffany006
If I could guess he needs to feel needed, honored, like the "man" of te relationship.
Did you get the book SAA?

Have you read this?
The Most important Emotional Needs

Is the OW married?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Yes; It should be here by Tuesday

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I just went in our room and he's either texting it something... This mess is hard

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No none if them are married. They are single

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Originally Posted by Tiffany006
I just went in our room and he's either texting it something... This mess is hard
Have you demanded he end his affair?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Ok his abuse has gone on long enough. You've exposed him to the IG and he still is talking to these OW. I'm really worried for your mental health.

It's time to get yourself into Plan B.
How to Plan B Correctly

How long will it take for you to get into Plan B?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I'm not sure I can get into plan b. he pays the rent, and most of the bills. I work but only really part time because I am a full time student. I could ask him to leave but when he was gone for two days it was really hard on me to handle out son alone plus everything else. What do you suggest

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I did before exposure by since then we've hardly talked

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Originally Posted by Tiffany006
I'm not sure I can get into plan b. he pays the rent, and most of the bills. I work but only really part time because I am a full time student. I could ask him to leave but when he was gone for two days it was really hard on me to handle out son alone plus everything else. What do you suggest

You should consult an attorney so that you would receive child support while separated.
You can also call the welfare department for food stamps and utility help.
Also the college may have programs for single moms in need of child care.
Do you have a relative Or parents you can move in with?

You need to enter Plan b and have no contact with him until he is willing to permanently end his affair and agree to the recovery plan detailed in Surviving An Affair

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