I am a 2 time divorcee. Mother of three grown kids. Teacher. Daughter. Friend. Sister. Child of God. But not a wife. The one thing I always wanted to be, and what I thought I was created for. I saw my grandparents and parents, brothers and sisters grow old with the person they loved. But it does not seem that I will join their ranks. God is going to have to do a mighty work on me for me to get to the place where I am content to be alone. I feel inside myself that I have been given 2 chances, and may not get another. I have only been divorced for about three months, so I am still healing from all that nonsense. It's sad, though, when I think I may grow old alone ( of course I'll have my kids and hopefully grand kids some day,). I am trying to grow now as a person, focus on my church and hobbies. I just pray God will give me the contentment that I must find in being alone. I hope this doesn't sound too depressing. I just had to get it out. Thanks for listening. I am previously WinnDixiesmom if you are interested in reading my story.

I am also a recent divorcee.
Since you know about MB concepts now then maybe number three could be a possibility?

This may seem irrelevant but I was reading some canon law to help a poster on here and the orthodox Church will marry a member up to 3 times!

So maybe number will be the charm.

Either way. I wish you well

I am learning to live alone. I am also a parent of 3 young kids

Sorry for your pain.
So what things have you learned? Are you still studying MB material?

Have you read Buyers, Renters and Freeloaders?

Thank you, Jedi Knight. I really don't foresee a 3rd marriage. I really thought I knew the MB concepts in the 2nd marriage, but I guess I got complacent, and just took it for granted that my DH (at the time), was on the up and up. I didn't worry about him straying from me, and absolutely missed every sign! Amazing! Very interesting about the Orthodox Church marrying someone up to 3 times...so I guess that means I could have one more chance...ha! Maybe when I'm in my 60's.....I'm sorry about your divorce. I do wish you the very best, especially in raising your 3 precious kids. I pray you will find a MB worthy partner. Learn to be ok alone first, as it sounds like you are doing.

Thank you, Brainhurts. Since my H and I were both betrayed spouses, I guess I thought we would be ok. What have I learned? Wow....there's not room here for me to say. So much about how I should have been more of a giver, how I should have paid more attention to his needs, how the 15 hours a week are crucial. I'm in a phase, or stage, now, where I wish I had not rushed the divorce as I did.
I do need to read the Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders book, but don't feel I"ll have the chance to use it in the foreseeable future.
Thank you all for caring. Having a bit of a down time these days.

ChangedbyGod,
Sorry you are here with the rest of us.
You and I are pretty much the same story: mid 50s and two failed marriages.
I do hope God brings someone ito each of our lives as I too don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I saw my mom do that after she was widowed at 47. I always carried a lot of guilt as I was the youngest of 3 and left her alone when I grew up and moved out.
She had a good life, but I didn't realize how lonely she was until recently. I just assumed she was content by herself.
I'm sorry that you are feeling down over your circumstances. I do that, too!! I'm trying to find new things to do and new groups to associate with, but I am a fairly shy person around folks I don't know so I'm not one to push my way into a situation.
I'm praying God will be kind to each of us and will bring someone into our lives when He knows we are ready to accept them.

I'm having a really, really hard time now. It's been a year now since DDay, and 7 months since the divorce and I'm having the, "oh my gosh, what just happened" kind of feeling. I'm feeling some depression, and regrets, and oh I just wish there was a button I could push to reset my life.

Sometimes I think XH and I could have worked it out, but XH has definitely moved on, and I wonder if he even thinks about me. He is now on his 2nd girlfriend, and this one looks really serious. She is an old friend, and they found each other again on Facebook, just like he and I did. Why isn't he grieving over things now like I am. I just don't understand sometimes. I guess I am being overly emotional.

I guess I probably need to quit listening to Marriage talk on Christian radios, and quit reading on MB so much. I just wish so badly that I could have had 1 good marriage....
OK, everyone, I'll take a deep breath now and keep going. I have lots to keep me busy. Just wanted to vent a little, thank you for listening.

How do you know about his 2 New girlfriends?

Are you in Plan B? Are you still one of his Facebook contacts? Are you looking at his Facebook page?

You will not heal if you continue to stay in contact with him or follow his feed.

What are you going to do to protect yourself and start healing?

Oh BrainHurts, thank you for answering! No, we aren't friends on FB, but I have a friend who is, and she keeps me filled in, and I guess I need to ask her to quit telling me. I know I need to let it go. So I guess it opens up the wound every time I hear about him?

I mostly stay busy with work and church activities. Also, praying and praying, and I don't know what else to do to heal.

BrainHurts, you are very intuitive.

Yes friend, it's like picking at the sore every time it's about to heal.

You need to tell your friend "please do not tell me anything more about him. I'm trying to heal and recover from him and every time I hear something about him it takes me back to square one."

I'm glad you're staying busy and praying. Keep praying you continue to work on you and heal from your XH you will look back and see how far you've come.

Also have you thought about joining a new group or start a new hobby?

Time is my worst enemy sometimes...my kids are all grown and gone. Too much time when I get home. I am volunteering some with some elderly people at church, and also a Dog Rescue and Adoption group, so I'm trying....
Thanks for your suggestions, and thanks for caring!!!

You're very welcome.

That's wonderful about the volunteering. How about exercise? Are you able to do that?

Walks or bike rides?

I can do better on the exercising. I do have a dog that I like to walk.

Changed, I think it's great that you are active in church and at work, but I suggest these words to you: GET UP. GET GOING. GET ACTIVE.
Find a cause you believe in to and volunteer to help that cause. Deliver food to shut-ins. Start working out. Get a pet. Walk. Invite friends over for home-cooked meals. Go online and find new recipes to try out on them.

It's great to pray, but I know it can be easy, while in prayer, to dwell on unhappy times as a way of coming to terms with everything. I'm not saying you're doing that - I hope your prayers are prayers of gratitude, that you are young and healthy and have your children, etc.

In the meantime, as I mentioned, find activities and events outside of yourself to help you reconnect with the world at large. It will help.

ChangedbyGod, Our stories are so similar. I also have two divorces behind me - thus my name (2 failures Wanda). My first husband was very controlling and emotionaly abusive. My second left me for someone else. I am in my mid forties and it scares the hell out of me to be alone forever. It scares me even more to think of taking a chance on another relationship.I think all we can do is look towards the future and develop an independent life for ourselves and leave it in God's hands, come what may. God bless you. - Wanda