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teach them (at least those interested) how to play guitar This is your best idea!  Where we live, during the summer, there are FREE concerts in various parks nearby. Don't underestimate the little things. Washing the car together. Teaching them how to cook/grill/BBQ. You seem much better. Keep posting.
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I don't know how much better, still a lot of highs and lows. Just trying to focus in the right place so I don't get my butt kicked again!
I try to do little things with the kids every time I'm with them. I have at least one of them help me make supper, another help with the dishes. All 3 of my kids are great people and fun to be around.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Have you heard this one?
What do you think?
I wish I could get my wife to talk to the Harleys and give them her side of everything. She listened to my radio clip and never mad too much of a comment.
Last edited by bnmt; 03/13/13 08:08 PM.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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You must be very disciplined. Patient. Consistent.
However, your wife may want you to speak to the Harley's yourself.
In MY OPINION, you would score more points if YOU got their help independently.
She is probably burnt out.
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I have talked to them, several times. I've been thinking about emailing them again.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Well, BNMT. It seems you are "getting it". NO EXPECTATIONS! I do the same with my DS4. I let him "cook" by adding ingredients to the pot and stirring a little bit. It's so awesome. Keep up the good work. If you have spare time re read your thread and you can see the emotional change you are going through. In due time your wife will too. All I have to say is don't mess up your 2nd chance if you get it.
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TranquilDark, If I ever get the 2nd chance I WILL be the husband she deserves. I could never forget the lessons I've learned through all of this. I could never forget what truly matters in life.
No matter what, I can never be the man I was, thats a good thing.
Last edited by bnmt; 03/13/13 09:50 PM.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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I was the caller on yesterdays show. Not great news but pretty much what I expected.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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bnmt, I was able to listen to most of the show and think Dr Harley gave you good advice.
I wanted to say also, that you sounded MUCH stronger than you did the first time you were on the radio show. I think being in Plan B and working on your own recovery will help you even more.
Have you given any thought to who you will ask to be an intermediary?
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No matter what, I can never be the man I was, thats a good thing. EGG ZAK LEE As you change and grow and develop a clear understanding about how you will emerge a better man, an awesome Dad, and a potential awesome husband ...you become an MB success story .... regardless of the outcome of your marriage. And, it ain't over 'till the hefty lady sings her aria. None of us know exactly when that will be.
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Thanks Pep, I'll keep praying. As far as an intermediary, I have a couple people in mind. I'm going to try to stay away from family and pick people who aren't emotionally involved.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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I Agree with RQ. You sounded more confident on the show this time around and realized your mistakes. Follow through with the advice given.
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Man I wish I could get this kind of response when I post, but I'm new, I guess.
I am in a similar boat. I wasn't controlling or anything - just clueless. I have 2 girls - 15 months and 4 years old. Caught the wife entertaining some dude in my house all evening 15 days ago. I know it had been going on for 6 or 8 months.
So I am where you are, but she filed for divorce, and had her lawyer file a motion for a retaliatory restraining order because I went in the house and caught her and her little secret red-handed. Now they are trying to get me to sign a 'parenting plan' which I am not about to sign without a judge's order.
Sorry to derail your thread, but know that I probably feel everything you do and worse. My emotional state swings like a freakin carnival ride these days and I'm a well-grounded individual. Usually.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Blindsidednm, Listen to the advice you get on this forum. Follow it to a tee.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Apparently my wife is pissed. She got her divorce papers from my attorney. I don't really know what she thought was going to happen. Attorneys make it ugly. I'm just letting my attorney do her job.
On a good note the kids and I are leaving in a few hours for the indoor water park. I think I'm more excited than they are.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Apparently my wife is pissed. Apparently, bnmt is not cooperating and rolling over at her command.  If WW was NOT pissed, that would be unusual. On a good note the kids and I are leaving in a few hours for the indoor water park. I think I'm more excited than they are. Have fun!
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..... Attorneys make it ugly. I'm just letting my attorney do her job. I'm not going to let you get away with this one.... Attorneys only do what we LET them do. Attorneys are our mouth piece, paid to represent us. You know perfectly well what your attorney is doing and what it's going to do to your stbxw. It's my guess that you're finding some pleasure in the pain your representative has dished out on your behalf. On a good note the kids and I are leaving in a few hours for the indoor water park. I think I'm more excited than they are. Yes! This is good!
Last edited by HerPapaBear; 03/16/13 08:53 AM.
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Papabear, I'm not taking any joy in any of this. Especially my BW's pain. The last thing I want is to cause her any pain. My attorney asked questions and I answered them. I don't want things to get mean and nasty. I don't want any of this. I also can't roll over to what she's asking for.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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She does read this thread, although I can't get her to participate. I think she could get a lot of things figured out if she would. Maybe even see some hope in our situation.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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She does read this thread  Hellooooooooo Mrs bnmt Jump in. Join us.
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