First some quick background... My WW and I have two daughters who are 8 and 3. Married 16 years. I found out about her second affair in August 2011 which had been going on for at least two years. Plan A until Feb 1st 2012 at which time she moved out. We slept together a few times in Mid-May. She and her paramour were having problems so I was basically used. We found out she was pregnant around July 1st. I'm 95% baby is mine (paramour had vasectomy 10 years ago according to his wife but will have paternity test done). For the next couple of months she completely cut me off and would not talk with me. She was considering aborting so I was worried about. Late August her boyfriend broke up with her cause he didn't like the appearance of her being pregnant with my child. She came back to me and asked about reconciling. I said no way. Too much had gone on. A few weeks later she was back with her paramour and still is as of today. The baby is due Feb 25th.

We share 50/50 custody of the the 8 & 3 year old. I'm trying to think of a proposal on how to transition the infant to 50/50 custody like I have with the older girls. Does anyone have any experience or ideas on how to do this??? We are trying to work out a custody agreement for the baby now.

Currently I'm saying I want the transition complete within a year and she is saying she wants 100% custody for the foreseeable future. Her main argument is breast feeding and bonding (which of course I need to bond too).

And yes.... This would probably have a much different outcome if I'd followed MB principals... I should have never tolerated her seeing both of us in May.

Thank You

I think you should just consult your attorney.

I hope you get a DNA test before you fight for custody. Best to consult a lawyer to protect yourself if the baby is an OC.

Tell WW thank goodness for technology. Breast pumps, bottles, refrigerators.

Did WW B feed the other kids? If not can be a ploy on her part to deny custody to get maximum CS.

I agree with TheRoad. Make sure you get DNA done immediately and get a good attorney who will fight for your right to have generous visitation if the child is yours. Depending on your state since you and your WW are separated the child may not be assumed to be of the marriage but many states still make that assumption so you need to request the DNA preferably while they are in the hospital.

You are unlikely to get more than a few hours at a time in the beginning if your WW is BFing. The courts don't like to come between newborns and their mothers. Whatever you do if that child is yours please fight hard for it.

TR and FF, DNA test for sure. She breast feed DD8 for about a year and was only able to BF the DD3 for about a month due to a milk allergy (not to mention her affair started soon after DD3 was born).

I also plan on having DD3 and DD8 DNA tested as well. I'm 99% sure they are mine and from a legal perspective it doesn't matter but I would just like to know with 100% certainty. I don't want that small amount of doubt to be lingering.

Probably gonna propose some visitation (maybe at daycare) with gradual transition to 50/50 by the end of the year.

Thank You

I'm doing that for sure. But to be honest, I no longer have a lot of confidence in my attorney. She seems to be too willing to compromise. I'm not sure if she is being pragmatic cause she knows how the legal system works or she is being lazy. If this has to go to court, I may switch attorney's. Its just seem late in the game to be doing that....

I think you should get a new lawyer. Getting your rights as a dad recognized, and getting any sort of custody, is hard enough with a GOOD lawyer.

If your wife's boyfriend doesn't like her being pregnant is there any chance she may be willing to give the baby up after birth?

Yeah... No chance of her giving me full custody. Too much CS at stake for her. I'm gonna take her to court over this. I've been wanting to get her in court anyway so it's a good opportninty. I'm say equal custody after one year and she is saying one night per week after first year and then two after the second. Ridiculous... I think she has a fantasy that her and POSOM are gonna raise baby as her own. Sadly mistaken if she thinks I'm going to let that happen without. A fight.

I did get agreement from her allowing me to take full ownership of my hoiuse. Should get refi soon and get her name of the deed. Yeah!!

Next big event is the birth. Feb 25th. That should be interesting. POSOM will be in there with her and Ill be waiting to see her. That will be difficult but I can handle if....

Phoenix I would go there but show NO manners to POSOM.
I would call him [censored] in front of everyone.
If he gets mad and hits you have him arrested.

Better yet have a custom TShirt made that reads: My wife's boyfriend is a -----

Wait a minute, why is POSOM going to be in the delivery room while you're waiting outside? You're the father right? And you and your WW are still legally married, if I'm reading your thread correctly.

Do you want to be there when the baby is born?

Have you discussed this with your lawyer to see what your rights are? I see you weren't happy with your other attorney either. Have you looked into getting a new one?

Exactly.

Definitely demand a paternity test here. You don't want to be stuck paying CS for a kid that's not yours.

I doubt the hospital staff will allow him to remain in the delivery room against her wishes.
Phoenix do you ever watch the Steve Wilkos show? He is on late night and I think you should consider calling and askin to be on his show.
Let your wife and POSOM go on national TV and show their insanity to the entire world.


EdIt: I posted the above and then I thought, you may be better off emailing Dr Harley for advice in this matter

When a woman is in labor she gets to decide who is in the room.

I like the t-shirt idea JN!

It's ultimately her call whether I'm there or not. I think she's decided to just have her mother there. Ill take the girls to see the baby as soon as I can.

I've got to be in China end of the month. Timing really sucks on that. Haven't told her that yet. Baby is supposed to be born before I leave but she's was late with the first two girls.

We have fighting like cats and dogs over financial stuff and house settlement this week. Finally have that all straightened out. So now I can focus on the baby and the girls. I'm filing for divorce on the 10th and refi/removing her from deed on Wed. That settles all financials. Turned out she was dragging her feet on financials cause she doesn't want me to have money to fight her on custody or sue her boyfriend. She let that slip in one of her rages.

She asked me if I would drop the AoA suit for 5k, I lost it and asked her if she thought that really would cover everything that's happened. Told her come back with something closer to 150k and We'd talk.

Not really important this week. Divorce and baby are on the agenda.

Thanks everyone!!

Where are you at with the AOA lawsuit?

I'm getting mybfinancingnin orders and still considering it.

The baby is here and she is beautiful. The delivery wasnuneventful. I had the girls and my parents were here. WW called about an hour before she thought the baby was due. No one knew she was in the hospital. In assume POSOM had taken her and been there up until the point when we got there. I went in the delivery room a few times prior to the birth. My mom and her mom were in there for the delivery. I went in immediately afterwards and held her. POSoM was no where to be seen....

Well, congratulations on the birth of your daughter.
When will your divorce be final?
Is ww living with posom now?