In the course of a year I went through getting a wonderful new job. Finding out that my fianc� was pregnant(never regretted my little girl she�s a blessing), Getting laid off 2 weeks before my birthday and my wedding the day after, and on top of that buying my first home. This was to many life changing events in 1 year. A few of them should not of happened. The problem is I jumped into a marriage with somebody that I didn�t really know and have come to the conclusion that might be horrible person. When I first met her I thought man this girl is great. She was working a normal job, going to school, tutoring kids on the side, and it seemed that she was a really nice hard working girl. As I dated her I noticed she had her flaws as we all do, but they didn�t bother me. Then she got pregnant. I never worried about the pregnancy for a second. We started planning a wedding I did everything I was supposed to do. Breakfast every morning in bed, I would chop fresh fruit, and snacks for her to bring to work everyday. I couldn�t imagine any more I could have done for her. During the pregnancy there were times where she would blow up on me for the smallest things, but I took it as pregnancy hormones and just took deep breaths and figure it was normal. Well now we have a wonderful little girl. I come home from a sometimes 9 or 10 hour days and cook, do dishes clean the kitchen, clean the rest of the house, do laundry, sweep, mop, vacuum, and work on the house witch I completely rebuilt and added on to by myself. I get no thanks no credit. She wanted to be a stay at home mom I said ok. I work none stop, and then I get yelled at that I don�t play with my daughter enough. I even made all of my little girl�s baby food from scratch. Instead of being the most grateful wife ever I am treated like [censored]. I�m constantly berated for the things that I fall short on getting done. She blows up about everything like its my fault. If she goes somewhere and hits traffic she call me up at work to complain about it. I clean every day and I come home and the house is trashed. If we are late going somewhere its my fault because I didn�t help get our girl ready fast enough. I fell like a slave. My little girl doesn�t even call me dad half the time she calls me now now. Everybody thinks its this funny joke, but not really. I haven�t been felly good for the last couple of days. I have been working tons of overtime and told her hey when I get home I need to lay down for a bit. Well she was on the laptop like normal and my little girl was being a hand full like normal, So she starts to yell at me that I am not helping. For the last 2 years I�ve averaged about 4 -5 hours of sleep a night. I am always exhausted and over worked and I get none stop [censored] from this women. We almost separated, but she used my little girl as a weapon again me not for the first time. Tell me stuff like just leave you can see her every other weekend. Or tells me I am not playing enough with her and I don�t love her. I don�t want to be separated from my little girl, but at the same time I don�t know how long I can go on like this.

Welcome to Marriage Builders and you are in a safe place. Have you read Buyers, Renters and Freeloaders ?

You can't decide what action you need to take until you know what has gone wrong. This book that will tell you.

This also might be useful for you to read Givers and Takers

hi biomed, and welcome.

you've been putting up with this for a long time; however, in that time you've also taught her that's it's ok to treat you this way.

have you asked your wife if she's happy?

it is going to be hard to have a conversation about your M without totally LBing (lovebusting), but it can be done, and must be done for you to make a start. it sounds like your LB$ (lovebank) is in the red, and that needs to get turned around.

how familiar are you with this site and dr harley's concepts?

Welcome, biomed.

Question, please: when did you meet your wife? How long have the two of you been together?

Does she drink alcohol to excess?

Welcome to Marriage Builders.

Please use paragraphs in the future. No paragraphs = eye strain.

Question:

Have you read the MB Basic concepts?

Please read the Basic Concepts *link by link*

Is it possible your wife has postpartum depression? When you are at work, is your daughter well cared for?

I asked a question:

I agree there may be some sort of postpartum depression/mood disorder.

I also notice one thing - you guys have done everything but spend time together romantically. When was the last time you guys had a date?

On one of the MB radio programs, Dr Harley said that when a person is depressed, they close their love bank to all deposits.

We were together a little more then a year when she got pregnant. We talked about marriage before the pregnancy, but we kind of moved everything up. I think it would have been better if we waited. So, dated about a year and a half and married about the same at the moment.

She wanted to be a stay at home mom. I was ok with that. I don�t really see post partum depression. The main problem I see is she has turned her whole world into just about our daughter. I�ve ask on several occasions to have a date night. She doesn�t like to leave her by anybody else even for a few hours. We only average sex about once a month. During witch she can�t take her mind off of our daughter. She worries what if she wakes up, what if she rolls out of bed. We can be right in the middle and she will jump up to run and check on her.

I know I have trained her to be spoiled a bit, but I never gave her the impression that I was ok with the way she treats me are talks to me sometimes. We fight about it often. It more or less seems she doesn�t care. She tries to manipulate the argument or turn it around on me. Its like I am the bad guy because all I want is sex and I don�t really love her or our daughter I am just stuck with them.

Have you seen this?
The question of the ages:How can a husband receive the sex he needs in marriage?