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Papabear, I'm not taking any joy in any of this. Especially my BW's pain. The last thing I want is to cause her any pain. My attorney asked questions and I answered them. I don't want things to get mean and nasty. I don't want any of this. I also can't roll over to what she's asking for. I understand this. If you don't want things to get mean and nasty then make sure you instruct your attorney to guard against it. Just asking you to keep it real and to avoid the pitfalls of denial, especially as they are associated with the attorney/client relationship.
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Had a great time with the kids at the waterpark. I think they all enjoyed themselves. Went and seen a movie too. I couldn't help but to miss my wife and wish that she was with us. She would have had fun, the kids would have liked it better too.
Kids have left to go back to there moms. This is the worst, sitting alone when they leave. This is where I can't help thinking what an idiot I am. That I could have avoided all of this.
So I'll sit here and look at the pictures we took and start planning our next weekend together. If the the weather is nice I think we're going to go do some hiking. It needs to be something cheap, I spent way too much money this weekend.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Had a great time with the kids at the waterpark. I think they all enjoyed themselves. Went and seen a movie too. I couldn't help but to miss my wife and wish that she was with us. She would have had fun, the kids would have liked it better too.
Kids have left to go back to there moms. This is the worst, sitting alone when they leave. This is where I can't help thinking what an idiot I am. That I could have avoided all of this.
So I'll sit here and look at the pictures we took and start planning our next weekend together. If the the weather is nice I think we're going to go do some hiking. It needs to be something cheap, I spent way too much money this weekend. Good job with your activities with the kids, bnmt! Keep an eye on your budget, but remember that memories are priceless. For you, AND the kids.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Brainhurts, do you think you could post my radio show when you get a chance?
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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I worked midnights last night. Maybe it's because I was tired but I was thinking entirely too much about my wife. Wondering who and if she was dating. What our future may bring for us. If she sits around and thinks about me and misses me at all. Misses being a family. You know, all the stuff I have no control over and shouldn't be dwelling on. I started texting my kids as soon as they were up to try and take my mind off of it. It helped some. I think some sleep will help too. I almost called her but decided to vent on here a little bit instead. Some days I wish I could find it in me to hate her,then maybe this would be easier.
Maybe someone can tell me when all of this stops. The constant thinking of her, the dreams. I dream about her every night. I wish she didn't look at me as the enemy.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Brainhurts, do you think you could post my radio show when you get a chance? Of course. When was the date?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Ok, will do. When they put it in the archive.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I feel sorry for you. Why? Because my husband came >this close< to being exactly in the same pit of hell where you are standing. He told me he visualized me married to another man, a better man who was loving me and loving our children. That was his nightmare. Standing on the outside, looking in at all he'd lost. Not just lost, carelessly and stupidly and selfishly threw away.
Pepper, what was the turning point if you don't mind my asking?
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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If you want to go hiking check
Out Geocaching.
Kids love it And it's FREE!
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I'm certainly trying. I am usually patient, but it gets difficult when week after week goes by and I am missing a lot of my kids' childhood that none of us can ever get back. I want that fog to lift NOW, ya know?
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Pepper, what was the turning point if you don't mind my asking? It took over two years before I felt safe in the marriage. It took another two years before I felt a deep and lasting love towards him again. There was no specific 'turning point' other than watching Mr Pep go to daily AA meetings. I could SEE that commitment and that caused me to have a wait and see attitude towards him. He started being a really good Dad. He started being responsible with money. I slowly trusted his changes were sincere and permanent.
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Making plans for Easter. Yet another Holliday apart. It's hard because my parents are in another state. My son doesn't want to go at all. I guess the girls are goin with me and he's staying with his mom. I hate the thought of splitting them up, I also hate the thought of not seeing them. Still having a lot of down times. I miss my family, I miss my wife a lot. She was a great wife, I sure wish I would have remembered that before it was too late.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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bnmt,
do you attend a church?
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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Good! Are you looking for ways to connect with other men and finding any ways to serve? PLEASE, as a side note - Whatever you do, purpose to stay away from divorce care groups, service groups that cater to women, or anything that may give the appearance of wrong doing.
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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My church has mentors that help people going through divorce along with support groups. I was too late to register for the support groups. I'm looking into the mentors now. The first one they tried to give me was my wife's ex uncle. I seen a conflict of interest there.
I wish I could turn back time....
Cher
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bnmt, Men only support groups.
Co-Ed support groups at churches can become a hook up place for very wounded people to become even more wounded. My own wife became an example of this situation at our church while we were separated. After months of fighting my affair, she had her own at a divorce recovery group. It created an even more difficult recovery for us.
I'm not very fond of co-ed recovery groups today. I've been in AA, sober, for 30 years and I've seen so many recoveries from alcoholism go south over adultery and shameless sexual preying on wounded people that it would make anyone sick to their stomach. Co-ed church recovery groups have been no different.
Stepping down from my soap box now ......
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Please stay on it. Cause its true that's how affairs start. One wounded person opening up to a predator or another wounded person and all of a sudden they are soulmates blah, blah, etc.
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