If you do not want a divorce to have more time to finish exposure and plan A'ing then instruct your lawyer that and to stall.

People have recovered after a divorce.

Not said to give you flase hopes but to point out no one can tell how every story is going to end.

Like you have been told, she has filed, the timing is now up to her. Depending on what she files from now on and the court dates, you will have to respond. You need an attorney to guide you through, but remember, they work for you. Take as long as you can if that is what you want. Delay if that is what you want. But much of the timing is up to her now.

...he said well then you'll be served by Wednesday,

Dude, anyone who cannot avoid being served, knowing it's imminent, for a week or more, is not very attentive or bright. Every time a process server tries to reach you, it costs WW money, through her lawyer. You are NOT obligated to be honorable in this. The doorbell rings, don't answer it. Someone you don't recognize approaches you, change direction, get away. I once avoided service for over a month, causing a hearing I wanted to delay to be postponed twice. It was actually quite energizing.

Funny because I'm also a process server, the thing is people think they need to physically be handed to them when you can actually just throw them on the ground as long as u know its them, but yea i plan on delaying it as long as possible

...you can actually just throw them on the ground as long as u know its them...

...as long as you as the server can testify under oath that the target saw the service and recognized it as such. That is such an easy thing to refute if the target chooses by turning away, not looking back, and not acknowledging any calls or sounds. Trust me on this, at least here in NY. I've had tenants do that when eviction papers were targeted to them.

I'm not familiar with an IPhone 4.... thats what she has, from what i read it needs to be jailbroken. Is this a simple process and how long does it take to do does anyone know? Not to mention does it need to be done using a usb cord or just directly from the I Phone 4. ????

Youre not following the suggestions on communicating with her.
She texts you to respond in 10 minutes or she's dumping you...so you respond in 5 and argue with her.

First, when she starts cussing at you, politely and calmly say "I choose not to participate in this conversation if you are cussing (or yelling at me ) and then say "goodbye" and hang up. Turn off your phone for a few hours.

Second, don't write "well you make me wait so I'm making you wait" that doesn't make love bank deposits. Instead write "I am willing to work with you to create a loving healthy marriage where both of our needs are met"

Also hire your attorney. And do NOT discuss divorce with your wife. If she brings it up politely state "I don't know about legal things. The lawyer does all that" "would you like a cup of water?"

Thanks Jedi_Knight, you are correct, but it's extremely hard to say anything about wanting to work on creating a loving healty marriage when she is constantly making comments saying I am done with this marriage, I already filed, my minds made up, She say's that immediately if I even say an I love you at the end of a conversation.

I did however get all my items unpacked and put back into place, and disposed of all the boxes. I went downstairs and found all the picture frames we received from our wedding still in cardboard, went and developed pictures of just her and I as well as the three of us, as well a a couple from our wedding, but mostly non wedding picts, hung up all the picture frames, and one of us that guests from out wedding signed I hung in our room. Can anyone please let me know how to get to PLAN A, I tried looking for it, but couldn't seem to find it. Thanks

Can anyone please let me know how to get to PLAN A

Start here for a Plan A primer.

Also here.
Carrot and Stick of Plan A

So she's still in Texas until Sunday, like I said my stuff is moved back in without her knowledge, I'm wondering if it's the right choice, I have been making conversation to a very minimum and not talking about the divorce, her on the other hand keeps throwing out the I only want to talk once a week, I figured 2 times a day for 2 minutes isn't really pushing the issue. On the other hand she has mentioned 2 or 3 times a no contact order if we talk anymore. When talking to my lawyer, she said she want's me to let my wife know I moved back in before she gets home on Sunday, as well as her thinking with my wife being bi-polar she might call the cops immediately and put a no contact order on me as she has threatened already. Remember my son is not in the house as you guys recommended which I agreed, but my lawyer say's it doesn't look good with you being a parent, and having your son living in another household, yet you could say you don't want him there due to the bi-polar, I'M IN A STICKY SITUATION.....

Not to mention I am trying to get another law enforcement job, and my lawyer says a No Contact Order will make me lose my gun privilages and I need that for my current job I'm in right now.

What would stop her from getting a no contact order on you today if you call her and tell her you are there? And what is the lawyer planning on doing to protect you?

Here is the thing: you can't save your marriage if you aren't there. The attorney does not care about that. ALL an attorney cares about is making her job as easy as possible while she facilitates an easy, "amicable" divorce. They want no conflict, no matter how high the price to YOU. Your marriage means nothing to her.

I see your point, because I was about ready to tell my lawyer to just shut up about the whole gun permit thing.. it was like a repeated record, she kept saying it over and over. I got the clue, but I love my wife, so I guess some people do desperate things.
On the other hand what do you do with a unreasonable wife who just would come home and scream at the top of her lungs to get the hell out and keep saying it then call the cops?
It's just the whole cold cold heart she has towards me, that makes me scared to even try and continue on with this

"If you don't pipe down, I will call the police and report you for abuse. You have no right to kick me out of my home. If you want to separate, you need to leave because I won't be leaving."


Your wife is a terrorist and she gets her power from YOUR FEAR. Stop giving her that kind of power! If you continue to jump when she says jump, you will embolden her. She is an abusive woman and you need to put aside your fear if you expect to have any hope of saving your marriage.

Lose the fear. Do it now. It won't do you any good.

Do exactly what ML and JK said and record the whole thing on your VAR. You have one don't you? Your lawyer should have told you to get one during your consultation. Mine did. It will be invaluable for covering your a$$. I can't recommend this gem of advice more. Oh and if you've got a smartphone it can record sound too, and some mp3 players, your laptop or other computers, some webcams, you can record the crap out of your home if you get creative.

Listen I lived with my wife during divorce.
She would come and go from her affair partners house
I locked the bedroom door, so she wouldn't wake me up at night and she kicked the door in.
The door was ruined and wouldn't lock so then I propped up a chair under the doorknob and she would still push the door in but it gave me some warning and time to wake up.
She would wake me up at 2 in the morning to "talk" then tell me she was sorry, flip me off and tell me to go to hell, she started to slap me......I know what it's like.
And she and her mom tried to call the police.
They came out but didn't do anything.

Just because a woman calls the police doesn't mean that she gets a "no contact order" on you.
Now she CAN make false allegations. Women do that all the time. She can say you rape her and beat her and threaten to kill her. She can say you grabbed a knife and said you would kill her. Then she tells that to the police and they WILL make you leave.
That's why you CYA with a recorder. Hidden of course.