|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28 |
Hi all! I have been scouring this site for the last few months. My husband and I have been married for almost 19 years. We have 4 girls ages 17-6. He works full time, I am a stay at home mom, therefore we dont have alot of disposable income. Lets see, where to begin...18 years ago, while I was pregnant with my oldest, DH started hanging out with another female, swearing it was strictly platonic, but my instincts told me otherwise. Well, she ended up moving to just outside of Seattle, she sent him a bday card, I sent it back asking please leave my husaband alone. Havent heard from her until now...she has resurfaced on Facebook at the end of January she messaged him. Still in Washington, married with a daughter. DH asked permission to chat with her, I said only in my presence, then 2 days later he admitted that what they had before was indeed an EA. So I asked him nicely to stop talking to her. So after snooping, I found they created fake facebook pages with only each other as "friends". He has his email and facebook where it has to text a code for access, so while he was sleeping I logged on and got all the info I needed as evidence of yet another EA. Yes they are 3000 miles apart as we live in Florida,but I'm still devastated. When I confronted him about it, I asked again if he would stop...he said we are 3000 miles apart, shes not happy, i'm not happy, we are happy when we talk to each other. So of course lets wreck each others marriages rather than working on our own...sigh. I have begun counseling with my pastors to help me become a stronger, better person for the days ahead.
I've known he hasnt been happy for years, he became withdrawn, and quite frankly a jerk, which made me unhappy so I hardened my heart toward him. We decided to try marriage counseling, he went TWICE, said it made him mad and doesnt see how it can help and refused to go again.
I forwarded all the pictures, along with cell records and screen shots of facebook IM to my private email account, but he hijacked my account and deleted EVERYTHING. I finally got ahold of more pictures and forwarded them to my pastor for safe keeping so he cant get to them. Now that he knows Ive been checking the cell records, all cell activity has stopped, he doesn't message her anymore when he's home, only at work, on his cell, which he has now installed Skype, so I know they are communicating that way as well.
I'm ready to expose, but I have NO means of communication with her husband. I do know his name and their home address. I know HER cell number, where she works, etc. Is there a way to send a letter to HIM that she wont be able to sign for it under his name?
Thank you in advance for all your help!
CJ
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,537 Likes: 9
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,537 Likes: 9 |
Hi all! I have been scouring this site for the last few months. My husband and I have been married for almost 19 years. We have 4 girls ages 17-6. He works full time, I am a stay at home mom, therefore we dont have alot of disposable income. Lets see, where to begin...18 years ago, while I was pregnant with my oldest, DH started hanging out with another female, swearing it was strictly platonic, but my instincts told me otherwise. Well, she ended up moving to just outside of Seattle, she sent him a bday card, I sent it back asking please leave my husaband alone. Havent heard from her until now...she has resurfaced on Facebook at the end of January she messaged him. Still in Washington, married with a daughter. DH asked permission to chat with her, I said only in my presence, then 2 days later he admitted that what they had before was indeed an EA. So I asked him nicely to stop talking to her. So after snooping, I found they created fake facebook pages with only each other as "friends". He has his email and facebook where it has to text a code for access, so while he was sleeping I logged on and got all the info I needed as evidence of yet another EA. Yes they are 3000 miles apart as we live in Florida,but I'm still devastated. When I confronted him about it, I asked again if he would stop...he said we are 3000 miles apart, shes not happy, i'm not happy, we are happy when we talk to each other. So of course lets wreck each others marriages rather than working on our own...sigh. I have begun counseling with my pastors to help me become a stronger, better person for the days ahead.
I've known he hasnt been happy for years, he became withdrawn, and quite frankly a jerk, which made me unhappy so I hardened my heart toward him. We decided to try marriage counseling, he went TWICE, said it made him mad and doesnt see how it can help and refused to go again.
I forwarded all the pictures, along with cell records and screen shots of facebook IM to my private email account, but he hijacked my account and deleted EVERYTHING. I finally got ahold of more pictures and forwarded them to my pastor for safe keeping so he cant get to them. Now that he knows Ive been checking the cell records, all cell activity has stopped, he doesn't message her anymore when he's home, only at work, on his cell, which he has now installed Skype, so I know they are communicating that way as well.
I'm ready to expose, but I have NO means of communication with her husband. I do know his name and their home address. I know HER cell number, where she works, etc. Is there a way to send a letter to HIM that she wont be able to sign for it under his name?
Thank you in advance for all your help!
CJ Welcome to MB, momto4. I am sorry to hear of these events in your marriage. Can you look up their home phone number in an online directory? (I don't know if you have these in the USA - I am in the UK). Can you google his name and "Seattle" or "Washington" and find a work phone number or email for him? He might have his contact details on his employers' website. Can you find him on Facebook or LinkedIn? There are other searches available in the USA. Someone will come here soon and tell you about these. Don't send a message to him by any of these means yet. Come back and tell us the answers first, and we will walk you through what to do after that.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28 |
Can you look up their home phone number in an online directory?
I can not find any home number, so I'm assuming they only have Cell phones
Can you google his name and "Seattle" or "Washington" and find a work phone number or email for him? He might have his contact details on his employers' website.
I haven't been able to find anything as of yet.
Can you find him on Facebook or LinkedIn?
He doesn't have a Facebook, but he is on MyLife, but I cannot purchase a membership to view the personal profile
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093 |
Is there a way to send a letter to HIM that she wont be able to sign for it under his name? Just to answer this part of you question. Yes, you can do this through the US mail. It's called "Restricted Delivery".
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28 |
Is there a way to send a letter to HIM that she wont be able to sign for it under his name? Just to answer this part of you question. Yes, you can do this through the US mail. It's called "Restricted Delivery". THANK YOU! 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28 |
Also, is there a sample letter somewhere I can use as a guide to develop my letter to him. I have seen the letters to the OW facebook friends, and WS family and friends.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
He doesn't have a Facebook, but he is on MyLife, but I cannot purchase a membership to view the personal profile Is he on linkedin? Can you hire a PI to get a message to him? This might be very inexpensive.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Also, is there a sample letter somewhere I can use as a guide to develop my letter to him. I have seen the letters to the OW facebook friends, and WS family and friends. Have you looked for his family members on her facebook page? Is his mother, sisters, brother on facebook? SunnyD killed her husbands affair by contacting the OWH's brother on facebook.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Does the OW still have a facebook page? Do you have a copy of her contact list?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28 |
He doesn't have a Facebook, but he is on MyLife, but I cannot purchase a membership to view the personal profile Is he on linkedin? Can you hire a PI to get a message to him? This might be very inexpensive. I cannot find any LinkedIn profile under his name We seriously are struggling financially, so I really cant afford to hire a PI.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28 |
Also, is there a sample letter somewhere I can use as a guide to develop my letter to him. I have seen the letters to the OW facebook friends, and WS family and friends. Have you looked for his family members on her facebook page? Is his mother, sisters, brother on facebook? SunnyD killed her husbands affair by contacting the OWH's brother on facebook. She has a lady listed as her mother in law on her facebook. I messaged the lady asking her to have her son contact me, as I didnt want to give too much information at that point in time. but she never responded nor did he contact me. I HAVE copied all of her FB contacts into a word file.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28 |
I am not opposed to sending a letter RESTRICTED as stated in a previous post
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28 |
I finally found a LinkedIn profile for him, but I've never used it, what do I do now?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Also, is there a sample letter somewhere I can use as a guide to develop my letter to him. I have seen the letters to the OW facebook friends, and WS family and friends. Have you looked for his family members on her facebook page? Is his mother, sisters, brother on facebook? SunnyD killed her husbands affair by contacting the OWH's brother on facebook. She has a lady listed as her mother in law on her facebook. I messaged the lady asking her to have her son contact me, as I didnt want to give too much information at that point in time. but she never responded nor did he contact me. I HAVE copied all of her FB contacts into a word file. OK, you need to send another message to her mother in law and any other contacts you see. But you have to tell them about the affair or they won't respond to you. If you don't pay a $1 per message it will just put your message into a spam box and they won't see it. SEnd a private message to every one of the OWH's relatives you can ID and say this: Dear relative of OWH, I am trying desperately to reach OWH. His wife, Sally SlutHoe is having an affair with my husband, Joe Smith. They are old lovers from their high school days. They have recently started up the affair again according to my evidence. Please contact OWH and ask him to call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. If there is anything you can do to persuade SallySlut to leave my husband, Joe, alone, I would be grateful. Thank you, Mrs Susie XX.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I am not opposed to sending a letter RESTRICTED as stated in a previous post That is very unlikely to work. Use that as a last resort.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
[
She has a lady listed as her mother in law on her facebook. I messaged the lady asking her to have her son contact me, as I didnt want to give too much information at that point in time. but she never responded nor did he contact me.
I HAVE copied all of her FB contacts into a word file. I would send all of them an exposure letter. Do you have a facebook account? Did you read the Exposure 101 thread for instructions on how to do this?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I finally found a LinkedIn profile for him, but I've never used it, what do I do now? Start up a linked in account and try to send him a message. Give him your full name and phone # and ask him to call you ASAP.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28 |
[
She has a lady listed as her mother in law on her facebook. I messaged the lady asking her to have her son contact me, as I didnt want to give too much information at that point in time. but she never responded nor did he contact me.
I HAVE copied all of her FB contacts into a word file. I would send all of them an exposure letter. Do you have a facebook account? Did you read the Exposure 101 thread for instructions on how to do this? I did read the Exposure 101 thread and have a letter prepared already. I do indeed have a FB account
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I did read the Exposure 101 thread and have a letter prepared already.
I do indeed have a FB account Good girl!! And be sure and put a picture of you and your H in your profile picture. Do you know that you now have to pay a $1 for every PM or it will be delivered to their "other" box, which they will never see.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28 |
I finally found a LinkedIn profile for him, but I've never used it, what do I do now? Start up a linked in account and try to send him a message. Give him your full name and phone # and ask him to call you ASAP. How does it contact him? If it's thru email, how can I be sure the address listed isn't their joint email account accessible by her? I just don't want to give her any heads up on exposure or they will go further underground. My DH is SUPER computer savvy...
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
500
guests, and
41
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
