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http://www.nyshavingcompany.com/

Nothing better for shaving then a single edge safety razor.

The best part the blades are so much cheaper $2.99. Where the 4/5 blades are $25 and they do not shave better then the old fashion safety.

Another example that new and improved mean new = porfits and improved = more profits.

I hate when I hear the words in an advertisement. When you read between those lines new and improved means: we the manufacturer has found a way to lower costs and make more money then ever before while not matching the previous level of quality.

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Read an article in [/i]The New Yorker [i] a few years back, which said the blade manufacturers [/b]knew[b] that multiple blades gave no better a shave. But it was the only thing they could think of to sell more blades. That was when they were going from three blades to four.....


Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
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I really enjoy the smell of the shaving soap too.
And the feel of the boar bristle brush on my face.
I will commit to teaching my son when he is older this proper method of shaving

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Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
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While much in the way of traditional gender roles has shifted in modern times, most women I know still want a man who can be the rock in the relationship. But just what does being the rock entail? I asked this question in the Community, and this is what a few of the men had to say:

Jamie said: �To me, that means being mature, guided by reason and my family�s best interest, rather than being given to emotional upsets. My wife wants to know that if she gives me her cares and concerns, she can rest assured that I�ll take care of them responsibly.�

Jeffre said: �To me, being the rock means I need to be the calm when life starts getting stormy. Not that I can control the events that happen in life, but I can control how our family responds to the events. . . Does it mean I�m always �the rock?� No, there are times when I have had to lean on my wife for support, but as a general rule my job is to be there for her and the kids. If there is a crisis and I�m not doing well, I have to put aside my fear and anxieties to step up for them. You feel like you want to crawl into a hole and disappear, but you can�t because others depend on you. Those are the times of real testing. When those times arrive I think of a quote I read somewhere (I don�t know who originally said it) but here it is: �Ask not for a lighter burden, but ask for broader shoulders.�

Robert said: �My dad was always the �rock� in the family. He�s the go to guy. The person you can always rely on. The person that you know will be strong when everyone else isn�t�Being the �rock� means always doing what you say you will do. Being calm when the situation seems to be chaotic and panic the order of the day. My dad is the rock because he is reason when emotion prevails, compassion when hearts are hardened, and humorous when you least expect it.�

What else does it mean to be the rock? Let�s take a look.

Being the Rock




Bumps and reups for our current crop of BHs.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
Increase Your Manly Confidence Overnight

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Manly men are confident men. People are attracted to men who project confidence. Sadly, many men these days lack any confidence at all. Some mope around with their head down, wallowing in self pity. Others confuse manly confidence with boyish cockiness. These men have confused confidence with being a [censored].

Manly confidence is quiet; it�s unpretentious. But when a man walks into a room who has acquired this confidence, people can feel it.

The steps below will get you on the right track for increasing your confidence. Implement them into your life and you�ll see results quickly.

How Shifty Powers Regained Confidence, and How You Can, Too

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Confidence can be a sneaky thing, playing hide and seek throughout life. No, it�s not something we�re born with and never lose. It fluctuates. Our confidence can become low at the start or end of a big project, if we�re nervous or feeling deflated, or after a setback such as a botched relationship or business venture.

If you�re seeking confidence, particularly if you�ve had it once and it doesn�t seem to be around anymore, what do you do?

One man�s example shows confidence can definitely be regained if it�s been lost. Sergeant Darrell �Shifty� Powers started life as a confident young man. One of the original Band of Brothers, Shifty was one of only two men in an elite company of 140 soldiers who initially achieved the designation of �expert marksman.� When it came to shooting rifles�and hitting precisely what needed to be hit�Shifty�s self-assurance was equal to none.

Yet at the end of the HBO miniseries Band of Brothers, when the men are shown reflecting on their experiences, Shifty (the real man, not the actor) made this startling statement:

�You thought you could do just about anything. [But] after the war was over and you came back out, why, you lost a lot of that. Or at least I did. I lost a lot of confidence.�


Bumps and reups; confidence.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
I see some gentleman at this time who need this inspiration;

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One harmful mindset that can keep a man from fulfilling his calling and potential is self-coddling. This is when he convinces himself he deserves a break, and runs to something that ultimately harms himself.

The WWII Marines of K/3/5 had been fighting on Guadalcanal for weeks. C-rations had run out, and the men ate twice daily portions of coconuts and wormy rice they�d confiscated from the Japanese.

PFC Sid Phillips (featured in HBO�s The Pacific) grew increasingly concerned for his hometown friend, W.O. Brown, racked with severe dysentery. Everything W.O. tried to eat ran straight through him. There was no medicine. No cots to lie on. The sick were simply stretched out on the ground. W.O. grew so emaciated he was too weak even to sit up. Flies covered him as he lay in his own diarrhea.

�It was bad,� Phillips reported in an interview with me. �I didn�t think W.O. was going to survive.�


Each day, Phillips carried W.O. to the ocean and helped him get clean. I asked Phillips if he remembered any specific conversations he had with W.O. during these times of carrying him. Here, I was expecting a poignant story. I pictured this young battle-hardened Marine carrying his nearly-dead buddy to the water. �Keep holding on,� Phillips would whisper. �Have courage. Just think of mom and apple pie.� Something like that.

But Phillips just chuckled. �Oh yeah, I remember. I told W.O. to stop being such a faker and take a salt tablet.�

The response threw me. I asked Phillips (who eventually became a medical doctor) what his strategy was.

�Well, it didn�t help a man to overly commiserate with him,� Phillips said. �If you did, it just depressed him. But if you kidded him, it made him smile. The ribbing was all good natured. He�d fire back some wisecrack at you, and soon he�d get to fighting again.�


A high school football movie comes to mind... Johnny Be Good? I can't remember...

A player gets hurt after a play, and complains to the coach; "Coach, I think I broke my [Richard]!"

The coach's response?

"Rub some dirt on it, and get back in there!"

Men are strange creatures... we are prone to the same forces which women are, and prone to the same collapse. Yet, it seems that for us, we first must be WILLING to collapse.

Why is it that a rib from a comrade will somehow give us enough vigor to take that next step, and the next, then the next?

Maybe it is the way we are wired to rise to challenges.

Now, in some eyes I am still a pup. But, in my time, I have worked with a broad range of men (and women) from a menagerie of backgrounds, levels of education, and social placements.

Yet, "the game" remains ever intact. The constant jabber and exchange of jabs and taunts, the stream of endless, almost boyish, playfulness never ceases. Most of the dialogue that happens between male colleagues, in my observation, has two possible outcomes if one were to attempt to carry it on to interaction with women; 1) a sexual harassment lawsuit, 2) an apology for being crass, rude, or cruel (and possibly another lawsuit).

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How does this apply to manhood today?

Phillips respected W.O. Brown as someone who had the capacity to get up and go on. So let�s believe the same about ourselves.

Anytime a man is in a downed place�i.e. he�s annoyed, angry, tired, hurt, lonely, stressed, or frustrated�he is tempted to become overly sympathetic with himself. He gets that insidious, creepy, pampering mindset that tells him he deserves a break�just this once.

I�m not talking about kicking back on the couch with a bag of Doritos. Not that kind of a break.

I�m talking about blowing it: the lie that it�s okay to run to a favorite vice. We�ve all got them. We run to whatever ultimately harms us, because we�ve convinced ourselves it helps. It�s the worst form of coddling.

What�s the solution?

Get tough with yourself. Knock it off, ya faker. Take a salt tablet, and get back to the battle. Sure, frustrations exist. But you don�t need that bottle. You don�t need that porn. You don�t need to give in to that moment of rage on the freeway. You�ve only convinced yourself you do.

By the way, the strategy works. W.O. Brown survived the dysentery�and the war.

http://artofmanliness.com/2012/07/20/getting-tough-with-yourself/


Get tough on yourself, not your spouse. Not your children.


Take a look around; MB is tough on men, too.




Big one here; if you are in the thick, or you've seen the end but are slogging in the mud; take a salt tablet, ya faker!


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Good work HHH

Glad to see this thread again alive..

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I felt there was a need... though those who need it are left to find it on their own.

smile


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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You can lead a horse to water...but you can't make them drink..

Yeah I hear ya


Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Thanks everyone. Two words come to mind "Man Up". We need a reminder every once in a while. Now where's my tissue....


Me - BH 49 years old
Her - WW 43 years old
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Originally Posted by Wow777
Thanks everyone. Two words come to mind "Man Up". We need a reminder every once in a while. Now where's my tissue....


Wow,


The LADIES of this board will tell a fresh BH to man up.

I think that the other men (BH, FWH) of this board need to grasp that responsibility.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Going to get more in-depth later this week when I'm off work (Thursday or so) - but this little bit here is going to set the theme;

Quote
In the clip, Steve Paulson interviews Donovan Campbell, currently an author and business executive and also a veteran of three combat deployments � two in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. In 2004, Campbell was serving as a Marine platoon leader at the beginning of the insurgency in Ramadi. His platoon saw a ton of combat, and half of his unit would eventually be wounded. Campbell pledged to get all his men home alive, but during an attack, one of Campbell�s men was killed. Paulson and Campbell revisit an interview they did four years ago about the tragic incident, and Campbell speaks about meeting the killed Marine�s mother, and apologizing to her for failing to bring her son home. He speaks stirringly about how a leader must take responsibility, even if he�s not directly to blame for something:

Quote
�I still own my responsibility in the failure to bring him home. It may not have been my fault, but it was my responsibility. I was the leader and there was only one person to look to, when you, for everything that your men do or fail to do, and that�s the leader�That�s the right mentality to have, even though you may err on the side of carrying too much weight. Particularly as I�ve seen leadership as applied in, well, at least in my context in the business world, I think that the Marines get it right, and they got it right by teaching me from the get-go that hey, it is your job as a leader to accept responsibility, that�s what you do, particularly to accept responsibility for failure. And when you�re given these forty young men, we�re going to tell you your life is no longer about yourself, it�s about taking care of them and achieving your mission. That�s a, I realize now that that�s a rare philosophy, and that�s a rare leadership model. We say that life is not about you anymore. The minute you pin on the rank, and the minute you accept that paycheck, you accept responsibility and you accept a commitment to something greater than yourself. And I think that applies just as much now as it did then.�


"It may have not been my fault, but it was my responsibility... even though you may err on the side of carrying too much weight... your life is no longer about you... the minute you pin that rank, the minute you cash that paycheck you accept responsibility and you accept commitment to something greater than yourself..."




Restated; "The moment you put that ring on your finger, you accept responsibility and you accept committment to something greater than yourself."

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/03/24/manvotional-leadership-and-responsibility/


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
HoldHerHand #2715624 03/26/13 04:22 PM
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Personal Responsibility 101: Why Is It So Hard to Own Up to Our Mistakes?

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All humans are essentially ego-driven creatures. Starting from a young age we develop an identity � a self-concept and self-image � constructed of our beliefs and how we view ourselves. Most of us think of ourselves as pretty decent people, better than average in certain areas, maybe a little worse than average in a few, but always trying to do our best. We believe we see the world realistically, and act rationally.

When our own thoughts and behaviors, or the accusation of another, challenges our cherished self-concept, we experience what is called cognitive dissonance � a form of mental discomfort and tension. Cognitive dissonance arises when you attempt to hold two conflicting beliefs/attitudes/ideas/opinions at the same time. For example: �I know smoking is bad for me�but I smoke a pack a day anyway.� Because our minds crave consonance and clarity over contradiction and conflict, we immediately seek to dissipate the mental tension created by cognitive dissonance. The smoker can reduce their dissonance either by throwing the cigarettes away and trying to quit, or by thinking to himself as he lights up, �People say that smoking is bad, but my grandfather smoked two packs a day for fifty years and never got cancer. It�s fine.�

When we make mistakes, the gap between our questionable behavior and our sterling self-concept creates cognitive dissonance. We can allay this dissonance either by admitting that we made a mistake and revaluating our self-concept in light of it, or by justifying the behavior as not in conflict with our self-concept after all.

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The pieces the brain chooses to compose our memories are those that best preserve and protect our self-concept. We have all had experiences where our memory of an event differed from that of another person. While the ensuing argument often presumes that one person is remembering it accurately, and one is not, what is more likely is that each is remembering it from their own angle � one that highlights their innocence as opposed to culpability.

Memories also change over time, as our present experiences and attitudes alter and shape how we see the past. This bears reiteration: Our memory of the past doesn�t simply shape who we are today, we also shape the memory according to how we�re doing in the present.

For example, a study asked teenagers and parents to come into a lab and list their areas of disagreement, then spend ten minutes discussing the conflict together and trying to resolve it. The teenagers would then rate how they felt about the conflict and their parents. Six weeks later, the teenagers were asked to remember how they felt about the conflict at the time of their first visit to the lab; those who were currently feeling close to their parents remembered the rating they had given as lower than it was, while those whose relationships to their parents were more strained remembered their rating as being worse than it was. Their current feelings altered the memory of how they had felt in the past.

This distortion can be magnified as we think over the sweep of our lives. Every person feels the need to fit their personal history into a narrative. The lead-up, the turning points, the bad guys and good guys, our triumphs over obstacles that made us who we are. For instance, �I grew up in a very religious family with uber-strict parents. I never questioned what they taught me until I got to college in New York. And then I became an atheist, and my family disowned me. And I�ve had to make it on my own but it�s made me stronger.�

We explain our lives through the filter of this narrative. And if we�re currently in a chapter of the story where we feel more down-and-out than triumphant, we�re inclined to remember episodes of the past that we believe led to our current struggles and confirm our narrative, and forget details that are dissonant with it. This is often the case for those who blame their parents for how they�ve turned out.


http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/18/owning-up-to-mistakes/


It's easy to spot this in others, but taking responsibility requires spotting this in ourselves...


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Hope its ok to join in here�not in recovery but this thread has really spoken to me. I think it�s important for men to support each other. I�ve got no real input as I�m not willing to pull the trigger on separating from my wife. I can�t stand the idea of losing my kids even part time. I�ve already told my wife if she wants to leave�no problem. If she planned to replace me that dude better be prepared to taste some blood!

I�m tired of the stereotype of the stupid �just another one of my kids� husband. I�d like to find a way have her see me as an equal�not a wallet or another child she has to take care of.



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Originally Posted by notsotuff
Hope its ok to join in here�not in recovery but this thread has really spoken to me. I think it�s important for men to support each other. I�ve got no real input as I�m not willing to pull the trigger on separating from my wife. I can�t stand the idea of losing my kids even part time. I�ve already told my wife if she wants to leave�no problem. If she planned to replace me that dude better be prepared to taste some blood!

I�m tired of the stereotype of the stupid �just another one of my kids� husband. I�d like to find a way have her see me as an equal�not a wallet or another child she has to take care of.


What strength does the faith and support of others create?


There are two parts of this; 1) finding those that will put their faith in us, and will grant us support.

2) Our own determination to rise to the challenge.

Case in point;



A young man whose mother was told would never walk due to cerebral palsy decided he wanted to learn parkour, or free running. A sport that is part running, part gymnastics, party defying gravity.

You see the progression.

The closing text in the video is as follows;

Quote
That first day his mom walked in to talk to me, she was upset about seeing him crash. She said to me "I'm tired of seeing him get hurt and rejected, he saw this in a video and thought he would try it. But no matter where I take him he is always cast aside... gymnastics wouldn't take him, martial arts, soccer..." I stopped her.

I explained what I saw, "Listen your kid is trying 20 times harder than anyone to try to prove that he is normal, that he can do it. I believe he has the potential to get better, you just have to bring him back. I expect to see you guys back next time." She smiled and she sat back down and watched.

A month-and-a-half later the class was having a hard time getting over a 5ft wall. Rooster ran up the wall with no hands and landed on top. With tears in her eyes, his mom looked over and said "Oh my God, that's my son."

The next day, Rooster adds me on Facebook.

He sees me online and says "Hey man, thank you."

Me: "It's no problem, when you train hard, you get better."

Rooster: "No man, not that.

The first time I saw my mom walk into that class, I knew that it meant it was time to go. This was the last time that I was going to try something new.

I was going to give up on everything and just stay home on the computer, but as I was walking over I heard what you said about me and it reminded me that some people do care about me and still believe that I can be someone.

So I never gave up, cause I wanted to make you proud."


I... uh... have nothing to add here...


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Ok... had to take a second to compose and think.

Two things from the closing stanza;

The trainer gives all the credit to his student.

The student gives major credit to his trainer.

It's symbiotic. A positive feedback loop - confidence inspires faith, faith inspires confidence, confidence inspires faith, faith inspires confidence...


The trainer takes no credit for a young man working to reach his potential, and the young man reaches his potential, and thanks the trainer for showing him the path, and supporting his journey.



When I arrived here, though the battle of ending my wife's affair had past, though the trickle-truth and fog had already been vanquished... I was still broken, bleeding... and angry.


And I was angry with myself, for being angry.



This thread was and is largely a selfish endeavor! It is patching the holes in myself so that I have the strength to apply the principals of this program.


But, I knew I wasn't alone...


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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As I began my officiating career, I was blessed by being taken under the wing of a legend in the discipline.
One of his warnings to me, as I started to demonstrate some ability and potential, was:

NG, stay confident, yet never arrogant!
Confidence is knowing you have the tools and insight to handle this job.
Arrogance would be thinking you reached that level on your own.


I think that speaks to your point, Trip!

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... a duel! To the death!



Wait... no...


Something else.


Ladies, please stop reading.









Did you stop reading yet? Dad gummit, LADIES, STOP READING!





Fellas, I am issuing a challenge;

Quote
A Resolution for Romance: The 52 Loves Notes Challenge


The Challenge



The instant communication tools of today have nearly obliterated the love letter, which is a crying shame. Don�t get me wrong, I really love the tech wonders of our day. Email? I love it�so useful. Texting? Same deal. Twitter? Addictive as all get out. These are all fantastic tools for communicating with co-workers, making plans with friends�even asking for the grocery list.

At the end of the day, though, a well-written love letter communicates deep affection in a way that a bazillion texts, emails, and tweets never can.

In my own life, it was easy to see how my obsession with �instant� had steadily eroded the inclination to put extra thought and time into carefully written love letters to my wife. So last year I decided to change that. In January of 2011, I pledged to write one love note to my wife for every week of the year. That�s 52 of �em.

I knew going into it that it would be a real challenge for me. Mainly, I didn�t trust my ability to write one love note per week. I was sure I�d forget and miss weeks, and thus blow the challenge.

My solution was to write the notes in bursts. Sitting down for an evening, I would compose between 5 and 10 notes, and then distribute them over the course of the following weeks. This kept me on track, and as 2011 came to a close, I could look back over the year and enjoy the satisfaction of knowing I had delivered all 52 loves notes to my wife.

The challenge turned out to be something both my wife and I truly enjoyed. I had a blast hiding them in places I knew Sarah would find them. (Hint: The fridge is an awesome place. As is the bathroom counter. As is her pillow.) I loved watching Sarah find and read the notes. And she told me how special, cherished, and treasured she felt when she read the letters. I sometimes catch her re-reading old love notes and smiling to herself�and man! That makes me feel SO good.

Over the course of the year our relationship took on a new energy, a lightness. All in all, the 52 Love Notes Challenge was an unequivocal success.
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/01/03/a-resolution-for-romance-the-52-loves-notes-challenge/

On your marks...


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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HHH,
This is a great idea and being creative adds to the fun.
I place them in my DW's lunch for her to find at work.

I have been doing this for over a year and she keeps every one.

She comes home and smiles, gives me a kiss and says "Thank you for my note!"

It never gets old!

I'm in!


Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
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C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
I remember back when my wife used to send a sweet note to me in my lunch. It made my whole day and I called her and told her so every time she did it.
Great idea guy

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