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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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So we went to the counselor and she suggested we do the separation. So I now live at my sisters house and it's the hardest thing ever. I've given her a list of things I would change and she doesn't want a part of it.
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I also wrote an email in to Joyce like suggested
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Anyone? Anyone know how long they take to respond to emails? Should I call dr Haley on the phone, even if wife wouldn't agree? I don't know if I should ask her?
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Give them a few days to respond; it's a holiday weekend.
Did you include your phone number so they can call you to ask if you're interested in being a caller? They'll let you know all the steps.
As far as I know you can't call Dr. Harley directly, unless you are talking about the coaching center.
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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So we went to the counselor and she suggested we do the separation. So I now live at my sisters house and it's the hardest thing ever. I've given her a list of things I would change and she doesn't want a part of it. It can take a few days for the Harleys to respond so give it a few. So what have you done in the last 3 days to meet her ENs? Tell us exactly. FC is important to her. So what do you have planned for the family for Easter?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
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Pretty hard to meet them from another home, I went and picked up her car and got it washed while she was working, went and mowed the lawn pulled weeds, shampooed the entire upstairs while she was working, and just been giving her compliments every now and then. She is really cold to me right now just trying to give her space and do things every now and then as a surprise. I've been texting her where I am at all times, and she responds back all the time. Easter , she will be working so the son will be with me at my families.
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Pretty hard to meet them from another home, I went and picked up her car and got it washed while she was working, went and mowed the lawn pulled weeds, shampooed the entire upstairs while she was working, and just been giving her compliments every now and then. She is really cold to me right now just trying to give her space and do things every now and then as a surprise. I've been texting her where I am at all times, and she responds back all the time. Easter , she will be working so the son will be with me at my families. Ok good. Her responding is a good thing. Since she has to work Easter, can you and your son meet her for lunch and make her a Easter basket with lunch?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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That all sounds positive. Keep it up!
Her responding, allowing the actions, means the love bank is open. Of course its not full, you only just started. Good stuff.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Ok I am sure my w is having an affair,I'm broke and have no way to prove it,what should I do? Ask the MODS to merge with your thread in SAA. Why are you so sure now?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
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^wrong thread I believe.
Brain, do you think her asking for space and me showing up with lunch would be bad. She's a nurse so she really doesn't get a lunch. I could always buy her an Easter basket and take it to her at work. Say it's from our son?
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I went and picked up her car and got it washed while she was working  went and mowed the lawn pulled weeds shampooed the entire upstairs while she was working and just been giving her compliments every now and then She is really cold to me right now just trying to give her space and do things every now and then as a surprise. I've been texting her where I am at all times, and she responds back all the time. Easter , she will be working so the son will be with me at my families. Remember, you have given her a lot of reasons to suspect you will not keep up these positive changes. PROVE HER WRONG by keeping it up.
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do you think her asking for space and me showing up with lunch would be bad. She's a nurse so she really doesn't get a lunch. I could always buy her an Easter basket and take it to her at work. Say it's from our son? If she does not want to SEE you at work, that is 100% reasonable. She needs to focus at work and not be met with a surprise VISIT by you. HOWEVER ..... Why not send over a gift of food for her work group? Call the supervisor and ask permission to order pizza for the group. Have it delivered.
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Ok I am sure my w is having an affair,I'm broke and have no way to prove it,what should I do? Ask the MODS to merge with your thread in SAA. Why are you so sure now? Tunedin, Why are you sure she's having an affair?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
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Brain that's not my post not sure where that tuned in is from...
Update on me we were both on the radio show Tuesday , my wife even went on. Dr Harley and his wife gave some great points and offered a guarantee way to get her to trust me again. She declined. We went to the counselor that night and she told the counselor her heart is just not in it and wanted out. So now we are completely separated, for a month. No contact really and no seeing each other . She pays all the bills of the house and I pull my check out every other Friday . This is to see if she really misses me and can be independent. Dr Harley suggested I give her time and not date other woman for now and hopefully she changes heart with the time away. Any other suggestions guys? I feel doomed!
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Brain that's not my post not sure where that tuned in is from...
Update on me we were both on the radio show Tuesday , my wife even went on. Dr Harley and his wife gave some great points and offered a guarantee way to get her to trust me again. She declined. We went to the counselor that night and she told the counselor her heart is just not in it and wanted out. So now we are completely separated, for a month. No contact really and no seeing each other . She pays all the bills of the house and I pull my check out every other Friday . This is to see if she really misses me and can be independent. Dr Harley suggested I give her time and not date other woman for now and hopefully she changes heart with the time away. Any other suggestions guys? I feel doomed! So sorry about the wrong thread.  Did Dr. Harley recommend you move out or just the counselor?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 28 |
Just the counselor and wife. She says her heart is just not in it anymore and sees me just as a friend.
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