|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 549
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 549 |
NG I was trying to give a general example. Sorry if it caused any confusion.
Me BW: 30
WH: 33
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
I brought it up last night but we never reached an agreement. Thats a positive step. Did you both remain pleasant?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
 there will be time to sort the socks later! You tried to slip that one past us, admit it! 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
You tried to slip that one past us
Yeah, like I had a shot at that!
Actually, that was my default when I was stymied in crafting a smooth reference to......
SOCKS-UAL FULFILLMENT!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 900
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 900 |
You tried to slip that one past us
Yeah, like I had a shot at that!
Actually, that was my default when I was stymied in crafting a smooth reference to......
SOCKS-UAL FULFILLMENT! ... Or the Joy of Socks?...
Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 233
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 233 |
Two things struck me when I read your posts...
1. You're totally discounting Annoying habits as a love buster. Have you read love busters? I think it is probably the thing you are prepared to sacrifice on because you have some preconceived notion that you shouldn't get divorced over socks. Well the issue isn't socks, it's the way you're treated when you complain about the socks.
2. You seem to be a conflict avoider. True? I can't find the conflict avoidance post, BH can you link it? Thanks. Avoiding conflict isn't the answer. Here it is. Conflict Avoidance is the Kiss of Death[color:#FF0000][/color]This was a really good article. Thanks for sharing!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 233
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 233 |
I brought it up last night but we never reached an agreement. Thats a positive step. Did you both remain pleasant? Well I said "So did you read my post? Somebody suggested we schedule our sex nights." He said "How about every night?" We both laughed but that was the end of the conversation
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 315
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 315 |
Why didn't you make him a counter offer?
Me - BH 49 years old
Her - WW 43 years old
Married 20 years
D Day Jan 7, 2013
3 kids - DS19, DS17, DS12
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 549
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 549 |
Two things struck me when I read your posts...
1. You're totally discounting Annoying habits as a love buster. Have you read love busters? I think it is probably the thing you are prepared to sacrifice on because you have some preconceived notion that you shouldn't get divorced over socks. Well the issue isn't socks, it's the way you're treated when you complain about the socks.
2. You seem to be a conflict avoider. True? I can't find the conflict avoidance post, BH can you link it? Thanks. Avoiding conflict isn't the answer. Here it is. Conflict Avoidance is the Kiss of Death[color:#FF0000][/color]This was a really good article. Thanks for sharing! Well I feel a little better now even though I inspired NG to some ridiculous SOCKS jokes.
Me BW: 30
WH: 33
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1 |
I brought it up last night but we never reached an agreement. Thats a positive step. Did you both remain pleasant? Well I said "So did you read my post? Somebody suggested we schedule our sex nights." He said "How about every night?" We both laughed but that was the end of the conversation That's a good start; the subject is on the table. Short and pleasant. Baby steps. My wife and I used to have a scheduled "no SF" night - anything except SF was allowed. You know what's funny? It never worked!
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,650 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1 |
What? It wasn't my fault! I said "no!" She just wouldn't take it for an answer.... 
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 233
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 233 |
Well I was thinking one in my head
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
NG's Top Eight Response Hints for TFT's "How about every night?" proposal
8 - "Well, okay, but only after you put your socks in the hamper" (Hi, BP!)
7 - "Instead of a cookbook, I'll use the Kama Sutra as a guide, and blog about it daily like in Julie and Julia!"
6 - "You realize that means no more red-eye flights, right?"
5 - "And we can probably get paid as mattress-testers!"
4 - "Visiting the in-laws will take some careful planning!"
3 - "OK, I'll set up a delivery schedule for bushels of oysters!"
2 - "Who said anything about NIGHT, big fella?"
...and the Number 1 response is:
1 - "Great! Let's start NOW!"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Who ever thinks POJA can't be fun has never done it the right way.
Naturally, "silly" is allowed.
Imagine this. Just for fun .... you both agree to conduct your POJA sex negotiations in song.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
...conduct your POJA sex negotiations in song
...or by limerick!
For example, from TFT:
FC, I love to see your beauty,
And not just try to get some "booty"!
And if you'd want some more,
It would not be a chore!
I would, of course, fulfill my duty!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 549
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 549 |
NG's Top Eight Response Hints for TFT's "How about every night?" proposal
8 - "Well, okay, but only after you put your socks in the hamper" (Hi, BP!) Hi NG  OK. FC, you're used to not saying what you think. Have you two read Love Busters? I just started and I thought of you when I read about the state of withdrawal. I think FTF is wanting you to take charge of recovery, but your continued unwillingness is discouraging. Look, recovery isn't going to magically happen. Somebody has to step up their game and break the cycle. Somebody has to do it FIRST! So, maybe next time instead of saying it in your head, say it out loud! And maybe practice some POJA! Have you guys done the grocery POJA exercise? I think that would be a fun place to start. But definitely POJA the SF issue tonight!
Me BW: 30
WH: 33
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
Okay, five days later, and nothing from FC, and nothing on her hubby's thread either.
Perhaps they are POJA'ing SF at a record pace?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
709
guests, and
106
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
