I just ended a 15 month relationship with a woman who is about to turn 50 next week. We planned on spending the day, taking off from work, and just taking a drive. I broke off the relationship 2 days ago for good reason.

When we met, I did not know she was still married, albeit separated, and told her I did not want to be with someone who is married, and would leave her if she decided to stay married. She told me she was finalizing the divorce but giving her husband time to finish up dental procedures (he is on her medical plan).

After one year of this, I finally asked her about her plans, and she admitted she felt she could not end the divorce because she caused a lot of pain for him and her family when she left, and she just did not want to add more pain. He, of course, wants her back, but she is not interested in going back as a spouse/lover. Yes, she is a cake-eater.

There is no future with a confused and manipulative person like herself. So, true to my word, I ended it. This was a long time coming, so the pain for me is minimal, but still there, of course.

In spite of all this, I am sad that the plans we made for her birthday will not be realized, and she expressed interest in being with me for that day. She will be alone and has not made plans to be with anyone. And turning 50 is a big event in itself.

Does it make sense to finish things out and at least celebrate this day with her? I honestly do not want to go back with her and this is a no-strings-attached situation. What do you guys think?

No, you don't owe her this date. And, she is still married. She can find something else to do.

She is alone by choice.
Her H "wants her back", according to what you wrote.

Pray that their marriage be restored.
Let her husband comfort her on her 50th birthday.
If she is alone, she is alone by choice.

That's manipulation on her part.

You need to find a non-manipulative person to make you happy.

I would get out and start dating around. Find some new people to date. There are lots of people looking.

CAKE EATER.

She does not deserve to spend her birthday with you.

I agree sp with everyone else. You've been manipulated enough by her.

Good job for finally walking away from her. Stay away and pray that at 50 she may save her marriage and stop manipulating others.

Go do something fun on that day, So you're not tempted to take her calls.

Go dark on her and move on to a better partner.

If she is alone and sad on her birthday (by choice) then she might learn that her false methods give false results.

Why should she be rewarded for lies, manipulation, and playing on both yours and her husbands expectations?



Are you flattered she wanted to be with you on a special day? Remember she thinks of you as someone who she could lie to for a year and that you would lap up any crumbs she could offer you away from her still-legal marriage.

Playing birthday-buddy after such an insult to you will only be pandering to the fool's image she painted around your face.

A married woman also has no business having male friends of any kind.

If she wants men to be interested in spending time with her she should a)become single and b)not lie to those men.

Don't fall prey to the Knight in Shining Armour manipulation nonsense. She could have made an honest, good life for herself months before her birthday.