So, I've spent the last three days in intense pain - BIG OUCH <P>Today, I have a handle on the "what" and maybe even on the "why"...<P>I had oodles of tests, the scariest of which was a CT scan (is that machine creepy, or what? ). They thought I had appendicitis, or gall bladder disease, or some mysterious disease, because the symptoms were all over the place. I've been on some heavy duty pain killers, and haven't been to work in two days (secretly about that one). After all the tests, it's come down to ulceritive colitis (please, please forgive spelling). I have to have some other, more icky tests tomorrow and will recieve final results on Monday. The only worse thing it could be is, of course, colon cancer. BUT THEY DON'T THINK THAT'S WHAT IT IS. My doctor seemed perplexed by the whole thing, but has a good feeling that it can be cured with meds and diet, and IF I DON'T HAVE ANY ADDED STRESS IN MY LIFE. Now, that's a tough one! <P>So, one of the things that will take away a bit of the stress is that my H has decided not to move out. We've talked and talked and talked and talked until, well... until my stomach said we couldn't any longer, obviously... and neither of us wanted him to go, but thought the other did, and thought maybe we <B>should</B> separate given the circumstances, and we had all these reasons to try <B>not</B> to work it out - but we forgot the biggest reason to TRY... we love each other. So... that's a good thing, right?<P>So, I don't go back to work until Tuesday (yippy, yay, and all that jazz ) and when I go back it will be with my wedding ring on and hopefully a settled tummy and eased heart and soul. I know it won't be easy, but we really want to make this work. It's the holiday season, our kids need us together, and we BOTH think we need to try - at least one more time.<P>Good news, huh?? <BR> <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited November 04, 1999).]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time with the ulcerative colitis. I do understand that it's very painful.<P>But, I'm delighted that your H isn't moving out! That's wonderful news!

Sheryl<P>That is GREAT!!!!! The news that you and husband are going to stay together. I just know it is the right thing. I can tell you will be ok. Just dig in and get to work (on your marriage).<P>It is ironic. I knew we were similar, but am realizing more and more how much. I have spent some time at the gastro doctor myself and if I had to venture to guess you are drinking a gallon of "go lightly" tonight in preparation for the test tomorrow. I bet is only stress. It is still better to be safe than sorry.<P>I looked for you online to say hello tonight. Good luck tommorrow and relax and enjoy your time off. Especially try to enjoy your husband's decision and his being at home. <P>Love ya,<BR>Susan

Hi NB (and you too, 3 wishes!!!)<P>I am so happy to hear this news.....<P>YAY......Happy Feet Dance!!!<P>I am sorry about your being in such pain though.....I developed an ulcer when my dad died in 86 and this nightmare with H has brought it back so I know some of what you're experiencing!!! You're right - BIG OUCH!!!!!<P>But I am glad that you two have realized that love is the biggest reason to work on this....<P>Your body will heal as your mind does which leads to the marriage healing also!!!<P>Prayers, Strength and BIG HUGS to you both......<P>Sheba

Sheryl, I knew it wasn't all that (your tummy that is)... <P>And great news about your hubby staying home.<P>take care,<BR>--andy

HI SHERYL & H,<BR> PRAISE GOD!!! THAT'S SO GOOD TO HEAR!! I'M PROUD OF BOTH OF YOU!!! <BR> [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] <BR>THE HOLIDAYS ARE GOING TO BE THE GREATEST OF YOUR LIVES TOGETHER!! Now, let's get your stomach in shape for all the good food!! Must be a day for good news!! GOD BLESS, FRANK

Too bad there's not a "tired" face, 'cause that's what I am... it's 2:54 am and I can't seem to get back to sleep, but that's okay, came here to see who'd written back... was so happy to see my pals:<P>Sweetpea, Thanks for the understanding and happy thoughts. This pain honestly rivals labor - SERIOUSLY!<P>Susan, Hey there!! Oh honey, the "go lightly" was today, the next test is the one where you carry the speciman into the lab inside a brown bag... yuk! I came online late and looked for you too, but realized it was too late for you. Talk on Friday, for sure!!<P>Sheba, BIG Happy Feet Dance, but you do it for me, okay, 'cause the bouncing hurts my tummy . And, yeah, looking forward to that healing to BEGIN!!!!<P>andy, so you think you're so smart Well, maybe you are, but don't let it go to your head, okay?? <P>Frank, thanks for all the happy faces, I love those ding-dong things! <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

NB,<P>I'm so happy for you . That is such great news!!!<P>Stress can do so much, our bodies pay such a price. <P>I'll be thinking of you today, good luck with everything!!

Hey Hum,<P>Happy to see ya!! <P>I'm heading on over to check out the post to you... hope all is well... I'll email later and check up on you! And when I say later, I mean MUCH later.... it's 3:40 am here and I think I'm finally getting tired enough to get back to bed!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Whoopeeeeeeee!!<P>Not about the tummy. I'm sorry for that. Glad you're getting it taken care of though.<P>But Whoopeeeeeee -he's not leaving! I'm so happy (gloating just a little bit!)<P>Let us know how things are going (tummy-wise and hubby-wise!). Hope you feel better very soon. Having this good news is bound to help.<P>(I KNEW he didn't really want to go!!)<P>Luv Ya,<P>Lori

Hey Lori,<P>Yeah, another wise girl in the bunch... but just like andy, I'll have to keep you from getting to big a swelled head <P>I feel better, more relieved just knowing that I will have my H here. Just pray that we can find the ACL and passion that we had. Thing is: WE DID HAVE IT FOR A LONG TIME and I KNOW it can come back!<P>That's the only thing that will keep my H here... he NEEDS it. I like it, but don't necessarily need it. HE HAS TO HAVE IT... Pray hard!!!!<P>Hugs <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

New_Beginning,<P>Very sorry to hear about the illness, but very happy to hear the you and H have decided not to separate. It is my hope that your in depth discussion with H have cleared the air somewhat and you both can see what you have in each other.<P>If you know he needs it (passion) do you're best. I believe you will be surprised what you get in return. First, however, take care of yourself and heal.<P>God Bless You and Your H

Thank you Just Learning!<P>Yes, we're gonna work hard at it, and I suspect that no matter what happens "in the end" that we'll have fun trying to find it <P>I have sincere hope that we can work through this. <P>Yes, and oddly enough, I feel better this morning, after 4 days of horrible pain. Is it the antibiotics and painkillers, or is it the relief of having my H back trying? Maybe a bit of a combo, but every time I think of my H leaving, the OM, or other icky thoughts, my stomach aches. You tell me!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

new-beginning,<P>Glad to hear you are working things out with your husband...things are looking up!<P>Hopefully, you will be feeling 100% soon!<P>Pam

New_Be,<P>I started to post and say somethings about you finally getting some rest and that helping with everything, Health, attitude, and hope for the future. I believe that to be true. THat finding passion stuff sure does sound like fun . <P>But I realized there is something else I want to say. New_Be you said " I sincerely hope we can work through this". I feel you have the wrong attitude. I don't mean to be critical. But it seems to me that hope has little do with this. You know you want to get your marriage back on track. You know your H wants to get this marriage back on track. Don't accept anything less, either of you. <P>Since you both want this marriage, and you both want the passion back, it WILL happen. However, it is not WORK. It ought to be viewed as FUN. Please have FUN doing this, don't view it as work. You two have been gifted with many years together, children, and a love for each other. You two are priviledged to have a chance to do something very pleasurable. Love each other, take care of each other, and both wanting to build the passion back . Get up in the morning looking forward to this. Don't get up worrying what will go wrong or what does that mean. Trust yourself and your H to want things to be right and good. THings will not always be, but it is not because this is what either of you wanted; the bad times.<P>Do you see what I mean. THere used to be old joke in the military, usually used when things were really tough and everyone was sucking air. Someone would yell out, "It's time for an attitude check". The response was "I hate this place". The first persons response was "Positive or Negative?". The response " I positively hate this place." It always seem to lighten the air, but it also forced people to become more positive about what they were doing.<P>What you and your H have before you is not work. It is an opportunity to do something everyone who is married wants to do. Pursue your love and passion for each other. Will you always find it? probably not. Will you enjoy the journey, please do.<P>Good Luck and God Bless You <P>P.S. I have great faith that you two will enjoy the journey,if you can only back off and take pleasure in it.

Hi Pam,<P>Haven't seen you much. How are things with you? Thanks for the thoughts, and I agree about being 100%. I didn't realize it before, but I haven't felt 100% for about a year!<P>Just Learning,<P>Boy! You were busy!! Yes, I agree with your message, and even told my H about it. He said something about being here because it's the right thing to do, the kids, etc. and I said, "sheesh, H, do you think that maybe we could talk about how we love each other and want to have fun finding the passion??" He agreed, felt a little embarrassed, so I had to tell him I wasn't trying to make him feel bad but that it had been mentioned to me that we need to have more fun with this instead of seeing it as a chore. Thank you for your thoughtful insight!! <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Sheryl,<BR> I've followed your posts alot. Like everyone else I'm pulling for you and your H and youre in my thoughts and prayers.<P> I do have ulcerative colitis, so if it does turn out to be that let me know. The disease can come and go and can respond to stress; although since my H's affair I've stayed in remission. Go figure!!! I do know of some supplements that can be helpful, most M.D.s poo-poo them, but they can help. I'm not a quack, I'm an OB/GYN nurse pradtitioner and pretty main stream. Although I do live near Boulder, CO where there are a lot of fruits and nuts!!!!<P> Anyway, good luck. And keep on posting. Bet you never expected to find someone with even the same illness here at MB! You just never know!<P>Jenn<P>------------------<BR>

Things have been okay for me. I'm feeling good lately...I hope it lasts! I've been on that rollercoaster ride for a long time, but I really feel like I'm at the end of it. Damn...I used to love rollercoaster rides...they'll never be the same again!

Jenn, <P>Sorry, but I'm still laughing about "poo-poo" ing anything, considering.... LOL <BR>I'll let you know. The CT scan said ulcerative colitis, for sure, I think this final test is to see how bad it is (it's that lovely test that you hand carry into the lab in a brown bag yuk!). <P>Holly,<P>Yeah, I used to love the ride too... no longer. Glad to see you! <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Sheryl<P>So happy to hear about you and your hubby.<P>Sorry to hear about your timmy!