Okay to start off I have been married for 2 years. In these 2 short years there was alot found out in the first year... Husband was talking to other women. I felt after 6 or 7 months I was finally over that. Yes, it still bothered me from time to time but I love my husband very much n felt it was better and he was better.
Hi Whitney, welcome to Marriage Builders. Why wouldn't the logical solution be that he stop talking to other women? Since it upsets you, the answer should have been for him to stop it.
The reason you were upset is because your instincts rightly told you this was dangerous. Opposite sex friendships is how affairs start.
Now we have moved and he works off and only comes home 2 days out of the week. Its beem very rough getting used to this arrangement but something that we just have to do to make it.
Traveling jobs have an astronomical rate of adultery and divorce. You won't have a marriage unless this changes.
I recently found out he has posted on craigslist, plenty of fish, who knows what else. I dont know wether to forgive and forget again or to keep trying.
There is nothing TO forgive. That would be foolish.
I'm in favor of forgiveness in many situations, but this isn't one of them. In the case of infidelity, compensation not only helps the offended spouse overcome the resentment he or she harbors, but the right kind of compensation helps restore the relationship and prevents the painful act from being repeated.
In most cases, an offended spouse would be unwise to forgive the wayward spouse without just compensation. It's like forgiving a friend of the $10,000 he owes you, when it's actually in the friend's best interest to pay you in full because it would teach him how to be more responsible with money.
Despite all of his mistakes I still love him unconditionally but have mixed feelings on if I can really trust him or if this is going to continue to happen... Help!
Of course you shouldn't trust him, he is untrustworthy. Trust is an instinct you have about someone and that has been destroyed by his actions. That won't change unless he makes radical changes.
Would you have "unconditional love" if he raped you and poked out your eyes? UC love in marriage is a very bad idea. It leads to unrealistic expectations of entitlement that results in neglect and abuse.
