Buy a whistle.
If it's WH on the phone, blow your whistle HARD before hanging up.
That's standard advice if a woman has a "breather" who keeps calling her.
Don't ask me how I know but, it works to stop unwanted calls, and it works quickly.


***edit**

The work calls, you may have to get creative. Your phone likely had caller ID, so his number is going to show up. I don't know how much this will make your Plan B ineffective, because when I was in mine my wife never called. But if you can block it, it will be much better.

The whistle or something may eventually work. The sooner you can rid yourself of daily or periodic stabs in the heart, the better.

But you will have to actively do it.

I dont answer at work, and my daughter is aware of not answering on when I'm around. It doesn't stop him from calling I cant stop him from doing so. But I don't answer. We have not spoken since March 10. And I wonder if its because of so many feelings coming back.

The whistle is hysterical!! Laughing over here!! I can't block calls on that work phone but I'll think of something. Yeah it does have caller ID that's how I know its him. Is he doing the stab at the heart thing purposely?

Who knows?
Waywards are selfish.
They want what they want.
They don't care who they hurt.

Protect yourself.

Is it normal to think this is too much to ever get past . Starting to think its no longer worth considering to reconcile even if we ever got to the point of it being an option

Completely normal. I am right there with you. Still on the rollercoaster.

Unless WH changes,..... his current behavior is way past too much.
Could he change? Yes. Will that happen? Who knows. Will you be around by the time he makes those changes? Perhaps, & perhaps not.

Your job is not to predict the future.
Your job is to protect yourself today. Your job is to keep your side of things unsoiled. Become a very healthy woman.
If the WS takes a long time to 'see the light', the BS becomes the bigger obstacle to reconciliation.

The decision was, is and will remain yours to make. Only you know when you've had enough. That is one of the key things that makes this forum as successful as it is. Nobody judges you for deciding either way. They only help you along the way, either way.

Thank you Wow777 and Pepperband my thoughts go either way depending on the date and time.

BetrayedP I know exactly what you're saying the ups and downs of it all.

Thats why we sleep on these decisions and run them by the vets here. They will ask the hard questions and help you see more clearly.

You are not alone in your thoughts being all over the place. It's a rollercoaster ride for sure but I'm told by some that the hills of the coaster begin to level out eventually making the ups and downs not so severe.

That is the one thing about Plan B that I think most miss. If we are honest in looking back, we all enter it as on more step in the process we are using to get our marriage back.

But more importantly, it stops the constant battering of our heart by the actions of the WS. Every time we are stabbed, every shot our heart takes, our love dies more and more in fairly large chunks.

Plan B stops that. The feelings are frozen somewhat, allowed to go dormant and slowly bleed away if it goes on for a long time. But this is good because it is gradual and extended instead.

Then, one of two things happen. The time will come for you to reconcile and you will want to.

Or it won't. Maybe it will never come, but the feelings have died and it won't hurt like it did.

Or, the time may come and the WS may have a change and decide to reconcile. But, then you have a decision to make and can do it somewhat rationally without the raw emotion from before.

No matter what the path, you are emotionally healthier, able to go the path you decide in a manner that is productive and healthy.

Never overlook that Plan B is really about achieving this.

I have been in Plan B for a few weeks since I put my WH out of the house for contacting the OW again. Since he left the phone calls have been regular every two days or so. But I have not answered them. I must admit I'm getting curious to find out what he has to say to me. It's probably more WS fog talk or to get off some of the guilt because he knows I have been having health problems.

Because I've been in Plan B I've refused every call. This morning he called our daughter on our commute to work and asked to put me on the phone. I told her no I won't talk to him. But its getting difficult to fight and I was just starting to feel better.

Don't you have an intermediary for him to contact?

He's not following the rules...

Maybe not, but you are. Maybe you should change your voicemail message to say, "if this is my husband, please call IM as he/she can get in touch with me if necessary" or something like that. Let him know that you have no intentions of taking his calls without actually talking to him

Princefan, please have the mods merge your threads. I know you were given advice about changing your #, etc already.

Can't your work phone malfunction?

Do you have a boss or someone who can speak to him? Many would not appreciate their work phones tied up and could threaten him with legal action (aggravated harassment).

Worth a shot

Also, ask your daughter not to answer the phone calls from him in your presence.

In your other thread, you said your daughter understood.

You have to make this happen. No one is gonna do it for you, or even understand.

It is up to you.