One month ago my H informed me he wanted to leave me/divorce me. Said he loved me but was no longer in love me--last time he was in love with me was 20 years ago when we were in college (though we've been married only 9 years). Have 2 kids (youngest is 7 months old). Now I realize H's love bank was very low--haven't really had sex for sex's sake for maybe 2-3 years (was trying to have 2nd child, which I pressured H into having), hadn't had many date nights last few years, arguing about my in-laws living with us, haven't spent a lot of time just the two of us. I've tried spending more time with him lately (waiting for him to come home, which is usually late at night because of his job) and he seems to enjoy it, but keeps on saying that, whatever i do, he won't change his mind and that he will leave me. Has already started looking for an apartment for himself. Any hope for me? What can I do at this point? We've had sex a couple of times this past month, but most nights he says he just wants to watch porn and masturbate and has no interest in me sexually. Thanks.

I think you might be my female equivalent. I am going through the same thing but the roles are reversed - very very familiar. People keep telling me how every one of these situations is pretty much the same but I have a hard time believing it. The porn thing is a problem for sure. Addiction, maybe?

Sounds to me like there is an affair occurring. I'd do some investigating and expose that nonsense ASAP if it is. I am sure some experienced members have some links they'll post to guide you there. I'm not going to be much help because I am in the middle of my ordeal, so until I get it all sorted out, I'm a student of Dr. Harley and all the experienced folks here.

Good luck to us both, eh?