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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 46
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 46
So i just happened to meet a really cool woman. Story is identical to mine, her ex worked for my ex and we think they might have been involved together at one time. We both agreed that we want to be nothing more than friends. Is it wrong to entertain even a friendship this early into my divorce process? I'm guessing it is but she seems so compassionate and caring, everything ive been missing all these years.


Me: 33 yo BH
Dday: 2/14/13 WW moved out 3/14/13
married 13 years
son 13, daughter 9, daughter 6
started plan B april 8th
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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You are married until you are divorced.
Give this gal your number, and ask her to call you on ~~~> give her a date for soon after you are divorced.

process of divorce = still married

Why?
We have seen a lot of wackiness here. Some really bad situations turn around in the 11th hour before the divorce is final and a couple reconcile. (Mortarman)

What you just experienced (and described) is the contrast effect.
Quote
she seems so compassionate and caring

In other words, you just opened up your love bank.

Wait. Ask her to wait.
Close that love bank until you ARE divorced.
Best wishes.

Last edited by Pepperband; 04/13/13 09:23 AM.
Joined: May 2009
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Your ex.....isn't your ex yet.
They are your wayward spouse.

Wait til you are divorced to get involved with a woman.

It is the best thing to do
for
you.

It will give you time to build your own sense of self and to be an even more wonderful man to attract a really awesome woman.

Joined: Feb 2013
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Joined: Feb 2013
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Yeah i knew that was the right answer. And of course the WW spouse and her POSOM have decided what we agreed upon but didnt sign yet is screwing my WW in the divorce. Nice. Coulda seen this coming. All the talk of i dont want to bury you, i still care was BS. Plan B didnt work to well when i got her requests from the lawyer....


Me: 33 yo BH
Dday: 2/14/13 WW moved out 3/14/13
married 13 years
son 13, daughter 9, daughter 6
started plan B april 8th
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
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Joined: Apr 2011
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I was married for 15 years ... you need time (lots of time) after your divorce. Your kids will need you (lots of you) for a long time now....romance can wait.

Children can't .... give your children the gift of you ... let thme heal.

Divorce will be the worst thing that ever happens to them. It will be with them until they die. Help them heal.

Joined: Jan 2012
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Even after your divorce is final, you don't need to jump into dating. I have a friend who finalized in Dec. and started dating pretty soon after. He is hurting right now because they expressed feelings of love and talked about marriage too soon. Now she's moving on and he can't understand it. Keep in mind, the first person you date is generally called your rebound. Hang in there. If she's 'the one', she'll be there after you have healed from your divorce.


Me (BS): 41
Ex (lying cheating piece of dirt): 43
Kids: 12 DD, 6 DS
Married 17 years
I filed: 9/25/10
Divorce final: 10/4/11
He remarried: 10/15/11

My current status: Healing a little more every day!

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