I hear you loud and clear will be back later for an update...

Well I've been following the advice. I call WW at least once a week we talked some mostly small. I notice she only talks when OM isn't around. To date I don't know where she is but I have a feeling she is with OM and will only travel here for court dates. I send her emails and pics of my and DS having fun and she responds sometimes. I try not to be overbearing and stopped the ILY crap.

Seems like a plan A from afar is my best bet. I don't prefer it but I don't prefer this situation either. In other news, women are coming out of the woodwork talking to me. For example, my best friend's sister is having relationship problems and told my BF that she had a dream we were together! BOUNDARIES are high, I simply told her I am committed to my marriage and gave her my HNHN and SAA books as I have them on my kindle now.

DS and I are having a blast! We go to the park, I am currently teaching him to ride his bike. Most of my free time is wrapped up with him. Going to sign him up for a soccer league as well. Getting warmer and I started back outside running! Love outdoor running, treadmills are boring lol. I haven't spoke to WW for a week or so and she hasn't responded to my emails as of late. I am kinda worried about her but it's in God's hands now.

I plan to Plan A to divorce and try not to intiate contact with her. However, if I do I will make it pleasant and fluffy. Going to moving out of state soon as I have to transfer. I haven't heard anything from SS at all and that worries me. I slacked and haven't sent him a letter in awhile need to get back on that. I haven't heard anything from my email either. I see and hate to say it but reconcilation probably won't happen till after divorce. Praying everyday that I am wrong but as I have said it's in God's hands and I trust him completely! Thanks for your support and God bless!

Prayers for your family.

As you read this, TD, the LB's are ramping up between your WW and her POSOM. These will build up until things fall apart over there. It may take awhile, but it will happen.

Meanwhile, you and your son are building a very special relationship. I remember applying the love I had once had for my wife to my children. We grew closer during that time, and even though it was a year-and-a-half of misery, I have very fond memories of the time I spent bonding with my daughters. You will look back on this time with your son with fondness.

I'm sure that your WW's friends and family are mortified that she has abandoned her children. She has devastated her reputation and her abandonment is weighing heavily on her.

You are making healthy life choices that will strengthen you no matter what happens. Good job recognizing that you're not a free agent just because you are separated. Do you still wear your ring? I think its important to keep it on until the marriage is over. It sends a message to your son, your WW, your family, and others in your circle.

How are the legal proceedings going?

You are doing very well.

TQ,
My wife's affair started in July 2011 (possibly earlier). I fully exposed in Feb 2012 I think and was divorced in Juy 2012.
She is still involved in the affair and living with him.

Like your wife, she abandoned me and the kids.

Just3 of us was similarly abandoned and was forced to be a single dad. His wife later returned, while I still contemplate how I will respond if my wife ever expressed a desire to return.

I had to let my wife go, and surrender her to God.
I had to do it for my own health. I became so physically exhausted near the end that I nearly vomited And was sick with exhaustion.

Today I am happy. I love life. I truly do love to live. And that's all I want to focus on, my life. Not my ex wife's.

I had a friend years ago that was married (he's an older man) when he was 18. They had a son with severe epilepsy. His wife, handed him their baby and told him she couldn't handle being a mom anymore and left him and the baby.
He made a career change and other accommodations to raise his son; when I knew him the boy was 18. The mom never returned.

In the end, we can only control our own actions.

You do what Plan A you can - but remember that the real shell-shock of the Plan A --> Plan B setup is when you will no longer meet any of her emotional needs. When you show that divorce means no more friendly phone calls, no more financial bailouts. When you leave the affair to stand on it's own rotten base.

If reconciliation is truly your goal, THAT is why you go into Plan B, and you do so before your LB$ is so drained that you will absolutely not reconcile.

Because, it will happen. Your LB$ will drain, and when it's all gone, you won't be interested any more.

Make sure that both your plan and your timeline match your goal.

My plan is to slow the divorce as much as I can. Seems I have to batten down the hatches and wait this out. When my LB$ balance is low I will plan b. I am planning a plan b when divorce is final and preparing to do so until she willing to work on the marriage. It will be hard but it will be worth it. I agree with you JK I can only control me and how I react to outside stimuli. Also, Just3 I agree with not expecting her family for help and that affairland is in shambles as I type this. I don't have proof but I know it in my heart. My gut is telling me this. Will keep you all posted.

I haven't been around as long as some folks, but I do remember in my first few months here a poster returning because at almost exactly the 2 year mark, his XWW had started sniffing around... things in wayward-topia were falling apart.

Again, the key thing will be protecting your LB$ from further withdrawals by isolating yourself from her wayward behavior.

I certainly hope it isn't the way you have to go, TD...

Though, looking at your join date... you've been fighting this fight for a minimum of 7 months.

Have you ever wrote into the radio show? If you haven't recently, it might be a good time to touch base and tighten up your plans!

TD,

Have you heard back from the Harleys yet?

Negative, BH. HHH I'm in for the long haul and know about the 2 year golden rule. Just went for a run and my mile time is down . But my time with DS is up lol. Tonight we are cooking dinner again together and going to watch spongebob! Can't wait till the warmer weather! Everyday even though the contact is sporadic I feel better about my situation. I felt really enlightened about the outcome in my favor after the baptism. Never been big in Christ and I missed out. WW is very religious and we both did a 180 in our faith. Strange isn't? Hope that and Him lead her home

re: "Never been big in Christ and I missed out. WW is very religious and we both did a 180 in our faith. Strange isn't? Hope that and Him lead her home."

TD,

As a priest friend of mine said when I was in the midst of Plan A, "Trust in God."

We don't know what God's plan is for us, and we are given free will. Hopefully she will listen to the Lord and overcome the temptations that have taken her off the path. In the meantime, you are now walking with Him and that is a tremendous blessing to you and your son. God bless.

Dr Harley, Joyce and MBRadio have again been notified.

Let us know when you get a response please.

Hello Listener,

I wanted you to know that we answered your email question on today�s Marriage Builders Radio Show, Friday, April 1, 2013.

Our discussion about your question was after the caller and we referenced you as �Listener.�

You can listen to the show by going to www.marriagebuilders and clicking on the tab Listen Now on the homepage. This show will be replayed the entire weekend until noon, Central Time, Monday, April 15, 2013.

Please feel free to get back to us with any further questions.
Joyce Harley

BH can you post this radio show please!

Does anyone else have trouble streaming the show online? The link doesn't work for me anymore. Can the mods fix it?

I'm confused. April 1st was a Monday show and there is no segments with the caller called "listener". Maybe she meant this Friday the 12th? If it is the 12th I will post it as soon as they put it in the archives.

Here is the April 1st show in case I missed something.

Radio Clip for 04-01-13 Show
Segment #2
Segment #3
Segment #4
Segment #5

Yes they addressed TD's situation yesterday. Interestingly, Joyce referenced WW's "failure to adhere to the visitation plan" as a euphemism for "exporting DSS to a Caribbean exile" !!

Heard it and will adhere to it. Your right by the way NG! I haven't heard from her in a week and she stop responding to my emails. Should I do some digging to see if she is in town? Thanks for your help Justuss and I shall persevere. Any good plan A ideas I haven't already done?

Well WW is living with POSOM thousands of miles away. Mad and sad all at the same time. She quit her jobs she had in our city and no doubt told those folks I'm some abusive husband could tell by the looks I got when I visited the store. Really want to call her and her family and AO the mess out of them but I'll stick to venting on the boards. Her plan is simple not let me know where she is and when court dates come up say she is with her mother and not POSOM.

Is there any history on this forum of a WW abandoning her child and the father getting full custody? Could use some hopeful news now. Good thing it's warming up so I can go for a good long run. Trying to wrap my head around this, doesn't feel real but it is. My heart tells me she is happy for the moment and it will all implode wish I had a time machine or something to speed this up.

I know the future isn't written in stone but I already see how this is going to end. WW gets knocked up by POSOM and also gets knocked out by POSOM then wants to come back with another mans child expecting me to pick up the pieces post divorce. I on the other hand would be done with her and not willing to work anything out. She will then try all kinds of crazy stunts to bring me back to her and when the rejection is real she will attempt suicide. I'm not a marriage counselor but I have a little med background and I know my wife. Can't save them all I guess, really hope I am wrong about everything and she pulls her head out of friggin rectum and see what her life could be with our marriage and what it really is while she is sinning. Please pray for my family. Meanwhile I'm not going anywhere this forum probably saved my life with the support I have here. Thanks!

Is there any history on this forum of a WW abandoning her child and the father getting full custody?

Several, JK being the most recent.

I know the future isn't written in stone but I already see how this is going to end...(Rendition of possible horror-story plots)

None of which you will be cognizant of because of your impenetrable Plan B, right? Your IM remains ready, dude.

So sad that we know how the story will end but they don't. I really hope something happens with POSOM before the divorce is final. I'll be praying for you TD