Thanks for the kind words BP. NG I know and hear you brother but I will Plan A as much as I can when I do interact with her. When the divorce is final i poan on pulling the Plan B trigger. Hopefully this will end before the divorce is final and living there with the POSOM will erode the fantasy. Just kind of depressed right now runnin' a mini marathon this weekend and taking some time off of work soon. I will feel better in the meantime I'm focusing on DS and myself.

What is a mini marathon?

Yea I got full custody with supervised visitation for her.

What is a mini marathon?

For me, it's running 26.2 yards to the mini-muffins!

10 mile run. This one has obstacles and swimming as well. Hope I survive lol. Gained 10lbs so it needs to warm up quickly!

That sounds fun.
I ran a 10k a couple weeks ago on a muddy trail.
Running is really good. And I enjoy it.
I don't know if I would be willing to give up running for the POJA If the issue ever came up.

What have you been doing for child care?

Do you have a settlement agreement in place? If no, I would push for one.

TD,
Hang in there, friend. As you know so well, you can't predict what will happen on WW's end, but you can control your actions and be assertive with the legal matters.

Be sure to DOCUMENT everything she is doing. This should help you with custody issues. Her actions have indicated that it is in your child's best interest that you have full custody. Not sure how the courts will see it, but I would be sure to document every text and e-mail, and keep a log of events. Date each log entry; I've read here that it is better to hand-write the entries.

I'm glad you have running. It is a great release and very healthy way to occupy your time. You are doing a great job of protecting your love bank and the one she has for you. Prayers for you and your family.

How is your step son doing? Poor guy.

Haven't heard from SS. What is a settlement agreement? Not to verse with those and I document every interaction with WW. I hope th courts see that too my lawyer said that judges frown upon parents dating during divorce and co habiting with people who are strangers to the children. They consider is a unstable environment especially since she doesn't have the income to stand on her own.

WW called at an obscene hour DS and I were sleep. Emailed her that I was sorry we missed her call and hope she's ok. She left a voicemail sounding like she was outside claiming I was keeping DS from her. I wanted to say you moved miles away from DS and whoring around town with POSOM so the courts gave me temp custody but that wouldn't be plan A like.

I don't know, but it seems like the STICK of Plan A.

Ahhhhh, to balance the principles of "no DJs" and "maximizing PORH" is always a struggle!

How about this:

"You moved miles away from DS and whoring around town with POSOM so the courts gave me temp custody..." - BAD

"I believe when you moved miles away from DS you hurt him very badly, and I feel you are still whoring around town with POSOM so, thankfully, the courts gave me temp custody..." - GOOD

Tranquill--I read through a ton of your story--you posted some on my thread too--just want to say I respect the heck out of you for your courage, endurance, and fight. You get an elephant balls award in my book.

DBD I hope you learn from my actions and inactions. Thanks for your support.
NG you are right and I sent that response BH you are correct as well. One of the major problems I have is tact. I'm working very hard with the slogan it's not what I say but how I say it.

WW called around 8pm wanting to speak with DS. Did not want to speak with me. Nor did I want to talk to her because I would AOed the heck out of her.

DS: I love you baby why don't you call mommy

DS: I've been busy with school. I'm sleepy please talk to my Dad

WW: (angry) no I don't I've been calling you but you guys don't answer. How's school?

DS: good I want to go to bed now bye.

WW: I missed you will see you soon, ok.

DS: bye.

I think that will be the last phone call I entertain. Simple fact is the court order doesn't say anything about calling and answering. She has alotted visitation yet doesn't exercise it. On top of that she lies to DS about her "frequent calling". What do you all think? I feel this is a stick like measure and I'm not denying her right to anything.

I feel this is a stick like measure and I'm not denying her right to anything.

Dude, your understanding of the overarching psychology behind Plan A is.....really bad.

Were there a judicial order prohibiting contact between WW and DS you would be fully Plan A in denying her access. (stick = "...let the repercussions from her behavior land on her....") But no such bar has been raised; it's all TD making this call. Which leads us to....

The "carrot" portion of Plan A is to be the EN-ergizer Bunny, pumping them good feelings her way with every bang of the drum. It's difficult to represent your denying phone contact between a mother and child as supplying any ENs. (Save her cell minutes?)

You keep saying "I'm in Plan A" like you're getting a tattoo done. Tattoos were developed (if you read Jared Diamond, The Third Chimpanzee) as a way to show that males were so virile and powerful, they could afford to devote pain and suffering in basically a useless exercise.

Maintaining a "trophy" Plan A, just to say you rode that sucker into the ground, is as useless an exercise. Not only is NG telling you this; your sub-conscious is as well!

So, entertaining calls was retarded check. Court order states visitation, which she hasn't been doing nothing about phone calls. Oh she emailed me as well here it is:

You believe whatever you want and that includes to believe I am a whore, I don't care about what you think about me. But one thing is true and that's that you do keep my son from me and that if DS and SS are not together is because of you, not me. I did not abandon my children in fact I tried to run away with them but you're so selfish and wanted to play like a punk and decided to take my little one hostage so I would go back to you and that is not going to happen. I much rather suffer now and feel that I stood up for what I believe and never feel that I gave you what you wanted. I know both my boys are going to be together soon and with me because you are bad, a very bad person and bad people always end up paying for what they do. I have not done anything wrong, all I wanted was to be happy with my two little ones but of course a self centered, selfish and narcissistic guy like you had to come along and do what your type do. I am doing ok but soon I will be doing very good and I sure hope you really became a Christian because you're going to need Jesus. What I want to do with my life stopped being your business the day you filed for divorce so stop speculating about my whereabouts and the people I stay with.

I love my sons more than anything in this world and I do believe that I am the better parent so you keep doing what you do if that makes you sleep at night but you know all you do is trying to make up for all the mess you've done. Don't put all that on me, I sleep very well at night I am not the one with a guilty conscious.

How should I respond I was thinking of saying this:

I am willing to make a marriage where both of our needs are met. I have a plan for our marriage to thrive as a mutual bonding partnership and not at the expense of each others feelings. However, I won't stand idle while you carry on an affair with POSOM and destroying our family. I feel in order for this to work no contact and full disclosure of your affair is needed. Please keep in mind that when the divorce is final I will not be your friend. Hope you are safe and you are in our prayers as well as SS.

NG! Your input is invaluable as well as everyone else's!

You are still making notes that she is taking no opportunity to have visits with DS, right? Or is there zero chance of her having any sort of custody arrangement change?

And good HEAVENS. Fog, fog, fog. She hasn't yet figured out that this isn't going to be friendly.

You've been in Plan A for a while, so that if you were to go into Plan B tomorrow...I'm not sure what would happen.

I wouldn't reply AT ALL. It's all fog and you can't do much with that.

Yes I have. I thought the same as well.

I would not respond ;
She sounds like my ex.
You will love divorce and plan B if it comes to that, because it's refreshing to breathe fresh air and think clearly