Dr. Harley would also be the first to tell you that it is your right, as the BS, to just move on. You don't HAVE to Plan A if you don't want to save the marriage.

The kids and I had a good weekend.
DD6 and DD8 completed their first 5K!
This was DS eighth 5K!

I placed first in the men's age group and celebrated by running 9 1/2 miles the following day.

On a separate question, I want to make female friends.
I met a single lady (our daughters play soccor together).
The girls wanted to have a sleepover.
This is scheduled for this weekend.
I spoke with this woman a couple of times, and enjoyed speaking with her; she is a Christian.

Trying to develop a friendship, should I ask
Her to have coffee at a coffee shop or dinner at my house?

If so, how long should I wait before asking her?

Do not lead off with dinner!!

Slow and easy, like coffee, first.

See how the first playdates go before approaching her for alone time.

I think even just asking her for coffee is going to sound like a date ...

Jedi, I apologize if someone has already recommended this to you but have you tried Meetup.com? There are tons of groups for people seeking friends with similar interests - for example, there are groups for those who like going to the movies, runners, singles, single parents, people who like to get together and knit, divorce support groups, wine enthusiast groups - you just join the ones you might find interesting and when they create events you just sign up and show up. No pressure at all, and in my experience the quality and quantity of women is always greater than of men so it may be a great way for you to make female (and male) friends.

I haven't heard of meetup.
I will check it out.
Thanks

Update:
I sent a text to the lady, explaining that we go skating every Tuesday and DD8 would love it if her friend could come. Here's the text exchange:

Me:Hello, I take the kids skating Tuesday evenings. DD8 would love to skate with Your DD sometime if she skates

Her: OK sure My DD likes to skate. when and where
I mean what time and where?

Me: (time and place)

Her:we will meet you there

Me: Great! We'll see you there

Her: :-) :-) :-)

They arrive and she explains that she lost her debit card, dropped it between the car and the door. I offered to pay the admission fee and skate fee (around $10 total) and help her look for her card.
We looked near her car and couldn't find it; she called and cancelled it; then we walked in and it was inside the building, about two feet from the door on the floor.

I also brought a neighborhood boy with us and it turns out they know each other and her daughter plays with him.

My daughter had a great time having a friend with her.
I spoke with this lady briefly (she has a 2 year old so she was busy with her baby daughter)

She is never married; she has DD8 and DD2.
The fathers are deadbeats that have been absent for years.
I don't know if she works or is on welfare.
She is attractive; she is also black and I'm white which I know can be some culture differences.
She is clearly a renter.

Any thoughts?

Take her for coffee!

That's a pretty good sign.

I agree take her for coffee.

You are doing fine....just live your life and be kind and reach out sometimes and take a hand when others reach out and one day when you least expect it you will have female friends and one of them might lead to more when you are ready.

I'm uncomfortable with this. Lovely that your daughter has a friend and lovely that you are mixing with other singles. My discomfort is that I feel these should be kept as separate activities. I don't think your daughter should be around your dates. You should mix/date with women that appeal to you. By all means tell your children you are going out but your children should not meet them until you have been dating someone exclusively for 6 months.

Why? It avoid the temptation of using the children as a bonding tool. A lone father-parent is a very attractive concept for many women.

You need to find someone that is right for YOU, not for your daughter. If she is right for you, your daughter will love her and she will love them.

You don't want her bonding with someone who may eventually disappear. This is too traumatic for a motherless little girl.

Living well,
I'm not dating her.
At this point I am trying to become friends as Dr Harley suggests.

How else can I develop friendships with other single parents?
I don't want to date for another year

She wasn't his date. Yet.
But I think she should be.

Maybe I'm jilted, jaded and paranoid but to me it seems a bit suspect that she just happened to lose her credit card, just happened to know the number to get it cancelled in the parking lot(which in my experience takes some time on the phone by the time you're transferred from one person to the next) and then just happened to find it on the floor 2 seconds later. Also two children by two separate men (that's the impression I have) ... it sounds like she may not be a good partner for you. (I know, I sound judgmental but I can't help it.)

But you said you have no interest in dating her. Maybe I missed why you're looking specifically for female friends instead of fellow single male parent-friends, but if you ask her to coffee with you, and you pay (again) she, in her mind, will think you're dating. If a man asks me for coffee, and especially if he pays, I think he wants to date me or we're on a date. I suppose you could make your intention clear to her upfront. Are you okay with a friendship with a woman which from your POV was strictly platonic but from her POV was potentially romantic?

I agree that it will be confusing for your kids to have a female figure around even if that female figure in your mind is just a friend.

I was also suspicious of the lost card but I'm guilty of locking myself out of my car in the past. She did say she owed me the money back

Regarding female friends, this is what Dr Harley told a single man to do. He said learn to become friends with women

Seems to be that if her goal was just to get you to pay for it all by claiming to lose her card, it would have just been easier to leave her card at home rather than pretend to find it later ...

If your goal is to become friends, why not invite her and a few other single parents over for a cookout or something? It would seem less like a date if there are several people there.

On that we will just have to disagree. I think the dates and the children should be kept separate :-)

I think the group setting is the way to go here. Relaxed setting, less pressure and this way you have the opportunity to make several friends.

It just seems that if you want to avoid dating anyone yet, but you begin to spend one-on-one time with a woman, you will end up meeting each other's ENs and then the next thing you know you're dating.

You know the signs of BPD right? Read this over and over again, you are going right back into this; inability to sustain relationships and externalization of blame.

Be friendly, but in a group setting. I *love* how she played the damsel in distress (BPD) with the credit card.

I agree. I love it that he is reaching out to make friends. It is a really good way to determine what qualities he desires.