I am at a stand still right now with my H. After numerous chances and failed promises/attempts by him to handle his excessive drinking activities, recklessness (driving home while drunk) and depression (suicidal last November), I have now demanded that he proactively seek professional help or move out. Making the issue about his drinking and depression is nothing new for him. I've done numerous things (not going with him to drink, set limits on drinking at home) and he knows this is a very serious issue. I am at the end of my rope. This is the only thing left for me to do. I still love him and just want him to be better, but I will no longer put up with his repeated promises/attempts at it that go right back to the same old thing after a few weeks.

Since making this demand a week ago, he has told me he wants to work on it, doesn't want to lose us and has gone out of his way doing nice and helpful things around the house (not his usual). However, all he's done about it is pick up a few AA flyers AND,...he continues to go out drinking on unexpected bike rides with his brothers and friends (set up through last minutes texts). These rides consist of an hour or two bike riding and three or more hours afterwards at a bar!

He just left on his second for this weekend and I was furious with him. I told him if he's not going to get serious/proactive about getting help I want him to pack his bags. His response was..."I'm not hurting anyone" (wrong!) and "stop with your threats."

Trouble is he REFUSES to leave! I want to go into a Plan B, but how am I to get him to leave? Has anyone encountered this? Can I legally lock him out?

File for divorce and get him legally removed. I would also call the police on him the next time he drinks and drives and have him tossed in jail.

Have you attended AlAnon meetings?
When you try to limit his drinking you are making a futile effort.
You cannot control his alcoholism.

You can find an AlAnon meeting in your area by googling "AlAnon (and your city). "

You can find more jnformation here: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/how-to-find-a-meeting

Daisy, I went back and read a few of your posts...going back 3 years! Hon, you have been struggling for a looong time.

When is it enough?

You can write a plan B letter and change your locks (yes, it is legal to change your locks). Do not let him in unless he gets the law.

Your alternative is to move. It can be done. I left my marital home with 4 kids because my WH wouldn't leave us alone.

How old are your kids?

Does your and his family know about his alcohol abuse? Can they express their concern to him and encourage him to go to AA?

Ditto.
He could kill himself drunk driving, and take others with him.

Right. Dangerous is a good word to use. All excellent advice. I appreciate it. I'm guessing the best route is to lock him out, though, he may fight that and find a way in (via kids) or other means. Best to get a court dealing,... which, I was hoping to avoid.

Oh,... and yes I have done Alanon and am in counseling with the kids. He's refused to participate.

And, I won't leave--- not ever. My lawyer has strongly advised me not to in the past. Better to use the law to keep him out than to leave.

Get a VAR to record all interactions with him. Call the police as often as you can.

Document, document, document.

What do you mean You have "dOne AlAnon?"
Do you have a sponsor?
Are you attending 2 meetings a week?
Are you workIng the 12 steps?

12 steps-yes. Meetings-yes. Sponsor-no. I have found that our counselor was more beneficial.

Document-yes. Have been /and also made sure to have witnesses when needed.

At this point, he's agreeing to see a counselor and AA. Though, has yet to be at a meeting or an appointment. I'm prepared for changing the licks and note on the door,.... and court order if he refuses to do treatment or stay away until he receives treatment/evidence of betterment.

His agreement to go to AA or a counselor is meaningless. I would make it a condition that he never drink again. You will have to kick him out or he won't take you seriously. He will just tell you enough to keep you off his back.

Agreed...agreeing to go to AA is one thing, actually going is quite another.