Found out on Valentine's Day that my WW was having a full blown PA...Told me and my Daughter that she was on her way to work with attire that was not work related. Did all the investigating on Iphone tracked Iphone to OM's residence etc...Exposed the PA to everyone and I do mean everyone who mattered. Right now i am working on my Plan A which includes working on me...I need advice on how long should i continue my plan A as the WW is still seeing the OM. Told him that she moved out (which she did for about a week) and she was mad at me for the exposure. Now WW has been back in the household for a month continues to field texts and calls from the OM and sometimes spends a couple of hours at his home. I asked her if she and him are so much an item then tell him the truth that you are trying to reconsider and be with me. Her answer was she did not want to hurt his feelings nor mess anything up between the two of them??? I only bring up her involvement with the OM when she mentions him as I am trying not to add any negativity to the love bank. I have been patient, understanding and playing by WW rules. I am getting to a point of ready to take off the the nice guy gloves and go to war. As i know all about the OM where he lives,works,telephone numbers I have only call once in the exposure time and He assured me that she came to her as a single woman and he was sorry for the hurt. But, knowing my WW she manipulated her way back into his arms by saying she had moved out etc... Last night she brought up the OM subject as having a problem getting past her physical attraction for him. I have a picture of him and he looks no different from myself same build etc. My answer was a some point WW will have to make a choice as 1. I am not trying to be the toaster at the end of her failed affair 2. This is her fantasy and not mine. 3. I did not asked to be in a love triangle. I just need help on how much longer should i keep this Plan A working? I mean one minute I hear we are all good and things are working out we even took the and filled out the surveys. Then next thing I see is the old behavior coming out with the texts calls and visits. Help me I am getting flustered. bmocare4

I'm sure the vets will be along soon to get you going. In the meantime, who have you exposed to on POSOMs side? Job, family, facebook.

I would try plan A and run this POS off. Plan A means you kill the affair by causing as much trouble as possible. You have said yourself that the OM believes she is single. You should be contacting his parents, friends, family, employer and telling them what he is doing to you. You should be calling this POS every time he is in contact with your wife.

What does your daughter say to her mother about her filthy behavior? What do your wife's parents and family members say?


Please list them all out and tell me EXACTLY what you told them. Did you give them the OM's name?

Have you been saving all of the evidence?

Bmocare4,

As a general rule expose to the OMs side first, because you already know who your WWs people are, and exposing WW will trigger OM to close off his facebook page etc.

You need to expose OM to high heaven, don't warn, threaten or inform OM or WW, this will cause OM to dump your WW for good.

God Bless
Gamma

Thanks Melodylane for the reply...I have told her BM who is the only one living on that side my whole family BM, Brothers, sister, sister inlaw. Told them the whole stinking truth about what me and my daughter found out. I have text's from Iphone, Pictures of WW's car outside his home with area photos from Iphone with dates and times...My Daughter who's a mid teen cannot stand her. Thanks I did not know that I should be turning the heat up on him as I was trying to keep the love bank full. Good info please keep it coming...

Yes everyone I contacted has OM's first and last name. I just had some outpatient work done so i need to recover for about a month. But, I am going all out now with getting OM to back off....

See, your typical OM is a POS coward who doesn't want the trouble. He just wants a little nookie on the side and will dump your wife at the first sign of trouble. That is why raising holy hell with him can be very effective. You need to make his life hell, up to and including going to his house with your daughter and having a talk with him.

That is exactly what i did I went to the OM first...Thanks for the replies....

Does that POS have a facebook account?

He lives alone and was supposedly going through what he is putting me through and his marriage ended...I have not contacted his job nor asked to meet face 2 face...But,I'm getting there...I am getting more and more frustrated as i'm typing this because i have been playing by WW's rules

Good man! I would DEMAND that your wife end her affair and not allow her to text, call, communicate with this RAT anywhere in your family home. That is profoundly disrespectful to you and your daughter. I would loudly insist that she "TAKE THIS AFFAIR CONVERSATION OUT OF OUR FAMILY HOME!"

I would go read my exposure 101 thread in my signature and plan to expose to the OM's family. A facebook exposure to his family and friends can be very effective. However, you now have to pay $1 to send a PM to anyone who is not in your network, so be prepared to pay the $1. It will be well worth it.

No could not find one anywhere i looked or no myspace etc...

Is he married??

Going by your "WW's rules" is the equivalent of allowing a drunk driver to drive the car. You just end up in the ditch! Cooperating with someone who is intent on destroying your marriage will get you exactly that: a destroyed marriage.

Does he have you blocked? Can you make up a new facebook account to see if he has you blocked?

Other ways to find his family would be to look him up on peoplefinder.com, intelius.com, etc. Usually a good private eye can find this kind of information very quickly for around $300. Calling his parents and other family members would cause huge problems for him.

What is his occupation?

Does she work with the POS?

Agreed with you statement let me clarify what's has happened i needed her into the home so we could sort out our lives. I told her that I do not condone what she is doing and it is wrong what i have seen is her going around and sneaking calls and texts. The OM is not married as he said to me that he went through what I am going through. They are both in the medical field which makes them somewhat close knit. WW had time to be alone for about a year and a half while I was in a different state working and raising my daughter because of a career move by my WW. She asked me to relocate to be with her as she needed me ASAP and i did not have to break my daughter's schooling. As time went on I started to notice the WW's behavior was getting suspect. As, I pushed and investigated I found out about the OM...The WW's BM believes she has gone completely mad. I believe this is part of WW's DNA as she has a close friend whom have told her of her numerous affairs. Should I just close up shop and move on???

Sorry for the reasons you are here. I can relate to the pain you are experiencing. It is the worst thing you will ever go through in your entire life.

Most marriages can survive infidelity, it is the lies and betrayal that is the most difficult to overcome. Guess you don�t have the lies as she is doing it right in front of you {shakes head}

What is she getting from him that she isn't/wasn�t getting from you? (EN's)

What were your behaviors that caused her to lose her love for you and look elsewhere?

There are always reasons for infidelity but NEVER excuses.

Do you have SAA? If not get it Today. Right this very second.

Now the impossible part for me to understand is the fact that you are enabling her A right under your nose! Seriously? You are allowing the A to go on in your HOME?

My man, you have to grow some stones here. Holy crap.

DEMAND she end her A now. Today. Let her know how much you love her. Let her know you want to change the behaviors she hates (love busters) and want to do everything in your power to provide her what she needs to create an amazing M.(EN's)

However, you WILL NOT stand by and watch her conduct this disgusting behavior in front of you.

I would march over to this POS's house and DEMAND he leave your family alone. Take 2 of your biggest buddies and show him you mean business.

Most likely he will run like a scared, cowardly little B*!ch he is.

Of course not. What her mother <BM????> did is about as relevant as the price of tea in china. It is in everyone's "DNA" to sin. Your wife is no different than the rest of us.

Does your wife work with this RAT?