Do you know the number one cause for depression in women is their relationship with their husband? If you can fix that, the depression will go away.

Definitely get on ADs for now.

How is your husband controlling?

No i havent been to doctor but years ago i had the need to talk to someone and had asessions with psychologist/counselling. I dont believe in myself i am very cruel judge of myself, i feel that most people even my husband doesnt love me..many things..negative things. Lost contact with friends, always feel tired and then i hate myself for not have everythibg in the house under control. Lately i barely have the power to do some basic things..sure to take care of the children, cook, little cleaning. I i am actually a simple person..i just need few things or getaways to help me relax..gain power..get in touch with myself.. Maybe go out for a coffee or dinner..shopping..maybe a hobby..dance or exrrcise or anything interesting..maybe these things are very common..but for me that i dont have them, not even once a month is my dream. I just want to feel happy for my children and husband. I hope i am not sounded like a bad mother..

Hm..for doctor i dont have extra money at this moment.
My husband is like it doesnt matter to him how you feel but what have you done. Sometimes he tells me do this what you can and how you can and after he can say why you dont go to bed earlier and wake up easier in the morning and why you have so bad mood and are you unhappy with children and me...and so on..you should start believe in yourself and the next day says something to make me feel worse. He wants to help me and we have the same goals in life but its like he is too practical to feel me. I am notasking for feel sorry for me or an excusr for not doing some things or whatever..i just need more understanding and that i need my time to heal myself..whatever is i have..depression or i dont know. Its like he expecys me to always listen to him and to push a button and be fixed. Like computer format me. ...