I am sure they have been texting for months. Again, I do not have $ for a lawyer, so I have not been able to subpoena phone records. She has passcoded her phone. Again, I am in a no-fault state, so adultery is of no legal consequence. All she has to do is cite "incompatibility".

Does she pay the bill?

You don't have online access to check records?

Can you follow him or a friend? To find out who he is?

Our business pays the cell phone bill - she pays that. As far as I know you cannot see text messages on your account. The business will probably be sold during the course of the divorce.

If you're part owner of that business, you should have access.

You can't read what the text messages say, but you can find out the number of OM. Then you do some Intel to find out who he is.

What about my question of following OM?

Is there a reason you don't want to know who OM is?

I do want to know who he is, but I have a restraining order against me. 150 yards from my house. I cannot adequately survey from that distance because of the way the streets are. I also don't have that kind of free time to be playing private [censored].

As far as the phone goes, I may have the user/password somewhere. I'll check.

oops.. I mean 50 yards.

Basically what I'm reading on this site is that since I am out of my house, she is divorcing me, and Plan B almost never works... why the hell am I even here?

That's why you want to do the plans. You never did a proper Plan A. Plan B comes after Plan A.

Dr. Harley has a Plan to recover marriages, but must be followed. Also, MB can help you become a better husband, person, father. There are many resources on this site.

You never exposed on OM's side. You don't know who OM is.

Plan A? I didn't even know about the affair until recently, after she had locked me out of my own house. It would be nice if my situation were textbook, wouldn't it? But it isn't. No plan A - right to Plan B.

However, when we were living apart, I did do sort of a Plan A from instinct, I guess, but it was to try to get her to reconsider our separation. Didn't work, obviously.

I am having to do what I can here. I just read Harley's book recently, so I'm stuck trying to restore at this point. Unless someone has a time machine I can borrow...

That's why you must find out who OM is and work on killing the affair. Yes you also need to protect yourself and your kids.

You also can only control you. What Love Busters were you guilty of? What Have you done to stop those and clean up your side of the street?

I know it hurts and it's frustrating. That is why get a Plan an follow it.

MB has a Plan.

Do you have your kids with you?

Have you seen this?
Guys. Come on. Assault the Ambush

Also have You emailed the radio show? It's free.

Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question.

My 4-year old was rather chatty today. Got some information that she volunteered. I think she gave up the OM's name, and there's another female name, maybe he has a daughter or something. She said she stayed overnight with them last night. I know nothing about him except what he looks like and the car he drives, including his tag number.

Another thing that bothers me - my kids are with a lot of other people whom I don't know very well. I'd usually say that I trust my wife's judgment, but I don't. ONe woman is definitely a bad influence, telling her crap like "You should never settle" and that sort of ignorant advice.

Another tidbit for those of you who swing by once a week..

WW got a restraining/no contact order 4/10. I am not to talk to her except through text message and only as it relates to our daughters. Nothing else. Today she texts me asking me questions about her iphone email because she's not getting her email. Suddenly I am tech support. I did text her three words: "reboot your phone" to try and help, but she texted me a bunch after that and I stopped responding and called her attorney informing them that she was texting me and to ask her to stop so that I don't violate the order, which I did already by responding in the first place.

Seems she is allowing her attorney to talk her into doing things that she doesn't understand. She wants to scru the OM without fear of interruption in MY house, but when she has email trouble, she feels that I am at her disposal. Symptomatic of what the marriage was like, right there. Always what SHE wanted while my needs were irrelevant.

/rant

Made another realization today after a text from WW. She was going to go to "the lake" on Saturday. She went to the lake last summer with her divorced enabler friend, with two guys. Oh, nothing happened, she said. We were still in the same house but she was sleeping in the other bedroom. I realized that the OM is the same guy from that weekend - almost a year ago.

Question - when exactly is this affair, which of course is based on lies and deceit, going to collapse like I keep hearing about??

Have you ever thought about emailing Dr. Harley.

Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question.

I suggest you just enter plan B and focus on your kid and self
Improvement.

Certainly call the radio show for guidance

I'm not even sure what I should be asking.

Been in Plan B for some time. Something happened yesterday that my friend thinks is significant - in a positive way. He went through this with his wife a number of years ago and used Dr. Harley's books to restore his marriage. It's a bit early yet, so I'll post it later and tell you what he said and get your opinions.

***edit***

***edit***

Not to t/j this thread, but it's in my story.

Anyone give a crap about an update?