If only waywards were able to see the future consequences of their actions. My fww's affair ended easily and without a fight. Despite that the ripple effects of the affair are astounding.
-DS can't go to preschool where DD went since POSOM lives 2 blocks away
-Gym was a big part of our lives, had to stop going to gym, now go to small community center
-membership to new gym, old gym was paid for 2 more years non refundable)
-Wife had a wonderful personal trainer (no affair with him) that she will no longer be able to see (no male personal trainers ever again)
-Wife is pregnant, paternity unknown. She was training for a fitness competition (Her body will take awhile to get back to where it was.
-medical bills for pregnancy and another child (I'm ok with child)
-Wife contracted HPV, both mild wart causing and High risk cancer causing.
-we were unable to have SF for 2 months due to discomfort of warts (tentatively starting again)
-No Oral sex until pap shows she has cleared them (1-2 years)
-possible cervical cancer for her in the future and risk
for mouth/throat cancer for me.
-medical bills for HPV
-Broken wrist for me from smashing a door to pieces in ao on DDay.
-cast for 3 months
-medical bills for injury
-New door
-Weekly Counseling for last 3 months
-payment for counseling
-payment for babysitter for kids while we go to counseling.
-The obvious loss of trust in our marriage and pain to me.
-Change in FWW daily life, facebook, phone, etc, etc, etc.

There are probably more that I am blanking out on. My wife and I are in recovery and doing well, but it hit me how much her selfishness affected in our lives.

Anyone else care to chime in on the ripple effects caused by their WS's affair?

Wow. You have a lot to deal with! Our biggest ripple effect is related to the person who introduced my husband to the OW and encouraged the affair- my husband's sister. And the OW is her best friend. Say goodbye to family gatherings for possibly ever. And our kids can't see their cousins. We are doing well, but I just know I will be blamed for the no contact with his sister.

Hang in there and focus on the future. Thinking of the past will bring nothing but heartache.

KL,

The effects are wide-ranging and long-lasting. I have a list that rivals yours. However, I don't begrudge or resent any of changes in our life. In general, life takes twists and turns and as we all know an affair is the most terrible thing in life that many of us will ever face.

Today, my H and I are in a very good place with each other. Our marriage is recovered. We are in love and I don't dwell on the "might of beens". It all got better over time. If someone had told me that three years ago, I would not have believed them.

Your D-day is pretty recent. If you truly are in recovery, the things you have listed will be like a scar, a reminder of something terrible that happened, but doesn't hurt the way it did when you first found out.

AM

armymama, that is true, and I am happy that we are recovering quickly. We still have our moments when I am hurting and she is feeling shame, but they don't come as often or last as long. Praise God for his work in our lives.

Armymama, I used your perspective on fww last night. She was down because of how our kids lives will change with new baby. I told her it will change, but that doesn't mean it will be bad. Thanks

Tell her if she joins you in recovery following the MB program you will have a better marriage then ever and that means a better, happier family.

X2