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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20 |
I have been married 12 years. She had an emotional affair it is over now. We have been doing His needs Her needs. She is not open to me fulfilling her needs. She was a virgin when we meet and now she says she has a great desire to sleep with other people. She says she just wants a hall pass to sleep with other people so she can fulfill her curiosity. I say no. What can I do? I just want my life and wife back. She wont let us move forward in our life and have a great marriage right now. Help!
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
I have been married 12 years. She had an emotional affair it is over now. We have been doing His needs Her needs. She is not open to me fulfilling her needs. She was a virgin when we meet and now she says she has a great desire to sleep with other people. She says she just wants a hall pass to sleep with other people so she can fulfill her curiosity. I say no. What can I do? I just want my life and wife back. She wont let us move forward in our life and have a great marriage right now. Help! Welcome to MB. When was her EA? Have you read all the threads in this? Start Here First-Welcome Aboard
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20 |
The emotional affair ended about 6 weeks ago. It ended by me giving up all hope and telling the world what had happened (i.e. all her coworkers , family,and friends). She then found out about other girls involved with him and found out he was a bad guy. Now she says she liked it and wants to act single and stay married to me. She wants to experience other people. Wants a pass to sleep with others.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
I have been married 12 years. She had an emotional affair it is over now. We have been doing His needs Her needs. She is not open to me fulfilling her needs. She was a virgin when we meet and now she says she has a great desire to sleep with other people. She says she just wants a hall pass to sleep with other people so she can fulfill her curiosity. I say no. What can I do? I just want my life and wife back. She wont let us move forward in our life and have a great marriage right now. Help! Vincent, welcome to Marriage Builders. I'm sorry for your situation. Tell us a little more about your marriage. Do you have children? Does your wife work? When did she start talking about sleeping with other men? I suspect your wife is having an affair. You may want to move this thread to Surviving an Affair. No happily married woman wants a 'hall pass' to have sex with other men. As far as 'moving forward' in your life and having a great marriage? No, that won't be happening as long as she wants to have sex with other men. You need to find out who she is affairing with (and I guarantee you - there is someone).
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
The emotional affair ended about 6 weeks ago. It ended by me giving up all hope and telling the world what had happened (i.e. all her coworkers , family,and friends). She then found out about other girls involved with him and found out he was a bad guy. Now she says she liked it and wants to act single and stay married to me. She wants to experience other people. Wants a pass to sleep with others. Who is this guy? Is he married? Have you spoken with his girlfriend/wife about their 'emotional affair'? How do you know the affair was only emotional, and ended 6 weeks ago? Is this what your wife is telling you?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20 |
We have a 2 year old son. She works full time at a VA hospital where her friend were involved with this man also. He works there to. During her affair after I found out about it. She begged me to let her sleep with him she told me I could sleep with her best friend in return. I said no. About 6 years into marriage she has a emotional affair with a guy she worked with she asked to sleep with him also I said no. She has said she wants an open marriage to be swingers. I wont do any of that. our home life is ok we get along she is very stressed raising our son. her work life is great.It is like everyone at her work worships her.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
We have a 2 year old son. She works full time at a VA hospital where her friend were involved with this man also. He works there to. During her affair after I found out about it. She begged me to let her sleep with him she told me I could sleep with her best friend in return. I said no. About 6 years into marriage she has a emotional affair with a guy she worked with she asked to sleep with him also I said no. She has said she wants an open marriage to be swingers. I wont do any of that. our home life is ok we get along she is very stressed raising our son. her work life is great.It is like everyone at her work worships her. Did you expose her affair at her job? Is this OM married?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20 |
Who is this guy? Is he married? Have you spoken with his girlfriend/wife about their 'emotional affair'?
He is co-worker. I feel she has not slept with anyone else.
How do you know the affair was only emotional, and ended 6 weeks ago? Is this what your wife is telling you?
I believe it is over. he is married. after I told everyone about what she was doing and we started talking again she started looking at me more like I was a person before she was very cold.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Also listen to this Radio Clip on the damage of a swinging lifestyle. Please read. Exposure 101 Please listen. Radio clip on Swinging Lifestyle Segment #2
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Who is this guy? Is he married? Have you spoken with his girlfriend/wife about their 'emotional affair'?
He is co-worker. I feel she has not slept with anyone else.
How do you know the affair was only emotional, and ended 6 weeks ago? Is this what your wife is telling you?
I believe it is over. he is married. after I told everyone about what she was doing and we started talking again she started looking at me more like I was a person before she was very cold. Did you expose to the OM's wife?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20 |
Did you expose her affair at her job?
I created a Facebook account and posted it on the front page. Put a pic of me and her up and invited all 300 of her friends and family to be my friend. They all know. everyone she knows
Is this OM married?
he is married
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20 |
I was going to. Then I decided I didn't want him to get a divorce and them to get to gather.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
Did you expose her affair at her job?
I created a Facebook account and posted it on the front page. Put a pic of me and her up and invited all 300 of her friends and family to be my friend. They all know. everyone she knows
Is this OM married?
he is married Did you personally call his wife and inform her of the affair?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20 |
She says she could easily have another emotional affair cause it made her feel so good.
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20 |
No. She wont believe me. He has told his wife I may say something like that.
Last edited by vincentjbl; 05/02/13 10:02 PM.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
We have a 2 year old son. She works full time at a VA hospital where her friend were involved with this man also. He works there to. During her affair after I found out about it. She begged me to let her sleep with him she told me I could sleep with her best friend in return. I said no. About 6 years into marriage she has a emotional affair with a guy she worked with she asked to sleep with him also I said no. She has said she wants an open marriage to be swingers. I wont do any of that. our home life is ok we get along she is very stressed raising our son. her work life is great.It is like everyone at her work worships her. So, she had an EA with another guy before THIS one? If you want to continue this marriage, I would suggest you insist that your WW quit her job immediately. That would eliminate her stress on caring for your son. Then the two of you could concentrate on building a healthy marriage.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20 |
My wife is currently deciding. To end our marriage and sleep with other people or to stay married and work on his need her needs.
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20 |
We have a 2 year old son. She works full time at a VA hospital where her friend were involved with this man also. He works there to. During her affair after I found out about it. She begged me to let her sleep with him she told me I could sleep with her best friend in return. I said no. About 6 years into marriage she has a emotional affair with a guy she worked with she asked to sleep with him also I said no. She has said she wants an open marriage to be swingers. I wont do any of that. our home life is ok we get along she is very stressed raising our son. her work life is great.It is like everyone at her work worships her. So, she had an EA with another guy before THIS one? If you want to continue this marriage, I would suggest you insist that your WW quit her job immediately. That would eliminate her stress on caring for your son. Then the two of you could concentrate on building a healthy marriage. I have talked to her about that.she wont quit her job it brings her to much happiness. And if we don't make it she wont have a job. I have asked her to find a new job. She wont do that ether. She is like a queen at work.
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20 |
her job is her only source of happiness right now.
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 20 |
I think she would be even more stressed if she was with our son full time. My mother in-law lives with us and is the number 1 caregiver for my son.
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